Fic: In Vino Veritas
Title: In Vino Veritas
Rating: PG
Characters: Nux, Slit, Morsov
Word Count: 980
Summary: An exasperated Nux deals with drunk Slit.
Note: Written for the Mad Max Kink Meme prompt When Slit is drunk or high his usual snarkyness gets replaced by some sort of sweet talking cuddle monster. Shamelessly he shouts 'WHERE IS MY CINNAMON ROLL?' (usually Nux) over the heads of fellow war boys. He cuddles war pups and tells them they are too pure for this world. There are surprise cheek kisses for passing war boys and maybe some sudden laughingfits.The reaction of the war boys is up to you.
“Nuxy wuxy!”
Nux recognized the voice, but not the odd nickname - endearment? - or the fond tone. He turned, and, yes, that was his lancer coming his way. Slit had a happy grin on his face, something Nux could only discern from his usual nasty grins because of how long they’d known each other. There was only one explanation. Slit had managed to get hold of enough extra alcohol to get drunk.
“What’d you trade for the booze?” he demanded. It better not have been anything of his. He still hadn’t forgiven Slit for that time he’d traded one of Nux’s best tools to a Gas Town Boy to get his cock sucked.
Slit slung a heavy arm around his shoulders and leaned in close enough for Nux to smell the alcohol on his breath. “Relax, Nuxy. Gonna do Spark’s next three guard shifts for him, that’s all.”
“You are going to do Spark’s next three guard shifts for him, right?” Nux demanded. “Not me?” He had found himself owing people favors because of Slit before.
Slit rubbed his head like he was a pup. “Right.”
The Immortan only granted them alcohol when he was celebrating something important, like a successful raid on a big settlement that had lots of good stuff or a new wife. The alcohol they’d been given tonight was in honor of the Immortan’s newest wife, Cheedo the Fragile. Nux had drank to the breeder’s fertility, but his alcohol was long gone. They only ever got enough to give them a nice buzz, never enough to get them drunk.
But some War Boys preferred to trade away their alcohol ration for other things, and some Boys were willing to trade valuable time or things for the chance to get properly drunk. Nux had never been tempted to try getting drunk. Drunk Boys seemed to enjoy being drunk, but the next day they always seemed close to dying mediocre and many of them went to the Organic Mechanic begging for help. Nux had spent enough time in the Blood Shed getting top-ups to know that Organic only laughed at them. There was no cure for drunk sickness.
Nux smiled as he imagined the state Slit would be in tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to see Slit suffer.
“Morsov!” Slit exclaimed, spotting the other lancer passing by. He let go of Nux and staggered towards Morsov.
Nux followed close behind, ready to intervene. Slit was always getting in Morsov’s face and loudly denouncing everything he did as mediocre. Naturally it usually led to a brawl. Problem was Morsov had a crew to back him up now and Slit still only had Nux. Nux was sick of getting his ass kicked because of Slit. Larry and Barry didn’t leave him with energy for fighting like before.
Morsov was clearly braced for a fight, but Slit surprised them all. He threw his arms around Morsov and soundly kissed him on both cheeks before Morsov managed to break free.
“The fuck was that for?!” Morsov demanded. Morsov wasn’t a bad guy, not at all. He and Nux got along pretty well when Slit wasn’t around. Nux got along with everyone when Slit wasn’t around.
“You’re a real chrome lancer.” Slit lowered his voice to a loud whisper and confided, “Better than me.”
A happy grin slowly spread across Morsov’s face. “Yeah, I am. I’m glad you finally admitted it.” He gave Slit a friendly pat on the back and he and his snickering friends continued on their way.
Nux only turned away for a second, but when he turned back, Slit was gone. He seriously considered just going to his bunk and going to sleep, like he’d planned on doing. But he was Slit’s driver and kind of responsible for him.
He searched everywhere a War Boy could be and even a few places they weren’t really supposed to go. The Pups’ den was the last place he looked because it was late and they should have been asleep. Instead Nux found the littlest War Pups awake and giggling. Slit was crawling around on his hands and knees with a pup riding on his back.
Nux goggled at the sight. Slit didn’t like pups this little. He thought they were mediocre for crying to go back to their breeders. They only interested him when they got older and started trying to learn things from him. And yet here he was.
“What are you doing?” Nux hissed. “You woke them! They’re supposed to be asleep.”
Slit stood up and carefully cuddled the pup who’d been riding him. “They’re so precious,” he sighed. “Look at them.”
Nux wrestled the pup away from him and shooed them back to their nest of blankets.
“Let’s go, Slit,” he ordered, getting right up in Slit’s face and using that extra bit of height he had on him.
Slit slinked away and Nux followed, walking behind to make sure Slit didn’t disappear again. He waited for Slit to crawl into his bunk before climbing up to his own bunk. He’d just pulled off his boots and gotten comfortable when Slit climbed up and wedged himself in beside him. They were both too tall and Slit was definitely too broad for them to both fit in one bunk.
“Slit,” he growled.
“I’m lonely,” Slit whined, which was the most bizarre thing Nux had ever heard another War Boy say.
Nux really wanted to push him out of his bunk and watch him fall. But Slit did take care of him when he had really bad night fevers, no matter how much he complained while doing it, so Nux let him stay and tried to ignore his nonsensical babbling. All this hassle would be worth it tomorrow when Slit sobered and had to live with what he’d confessed to Morsov in front of everyone. Nux couldn’t wait.
Rating: PG
Characters: Nux, Slit, Morsov
Word Count: 980
Summary: An exasperated Nux deals with drunk Slit.
Note: Written for the Mad Max Kink Meme prompt When Slit is drunk or high his usual snarkyness gets replaced by some sort of sweet talking cuddle monster. Shamelessly he shouts 'WHERE IS MY CINNAMON ROLL?' (usually Nux) over the heads of fellow war boys. He cuddles war pups and tells them they are too pure for this world. There are surprise cheek kisses for passing war boys and maybe some sudden laughingfits.The reaction of the war boys is up to you.
“Nuxy wuxy!”
Nux recognized the voice, but not the odd nickname - endearment? - or the fond tone. He turned, and, yes, that was his lancer coming his way. Slit had a happy grin on his face, something Nux could only discern from his usual nasty grins because of how long they’d known each other. There was only one explanation. Slit had managed to get hold of enough extra alcohol to get drunk.
“What’d you trade for the booze?” he demanded. It better not have been anything of his. He still hadn’t forgiven Slit for that time he’d traded one of Nux’s best tools to a Gas Town Boy to get his cock sucked.
Slit slung a heavy arm around his shoulders and leaned in close enough for Nux to smell the alcohol on his breath. “Relax, Nuxy. Gonna do Spark’s next three guard shifts for him, that’s all.”
“You are going to do Spark’s next three guard shifts for him, right?” Nux demanded. “Not me?” He had found himself owing people favors because of Slit before.
Slit rubbed his head like he was a pup. “Right.”
The Immortan only granted them alcohol when he was celebrating something important, like a successful raid on a big settlement that had lots of good stuff or a new wife. The alcohol they’d been given tonight was in honor of the Immortan’s newest wife, Cheedo the Fragile. Nux had drank to the breeder’s fertility, but his alcohol was long gone. They only ever got enough to give them a nice buzz, never enough to get them drunk.
But some War Boys preferred to trade away their alcohol ration for other things, and some Boys were willing to trade valuable time or things for the chance to get properly drunk. Nux had never been tempted to try getting drunk. Drunk Boys seemed to enjoy being drunk, but the next day they always seemed close to dying mediocre and many of them went to the Organic Mechanic begging for help. Nux had spent enough time in the Blood Shed getting top-ups to know that Organic only laughed at them. There was no cure for drunk sickness.
Nux smiled as he imagined the state Slit would be in tomorrow. He couldn’t wait to see Slit suffer.
“Morsov!” Slit exclaimed, spotting the other lancer passing by. He let go of Nux and staggered towards Morsov.
Nux followed close behind, ready to intervene. Slit was always getting in Morsov’s face and loudly denouncing everything he did as mediocre. Naturally it usually led to a brawl. Problem was Morsov had a crew to back him up now and Slit still only had Nux. Nux was sick of getting his ass kicked because of Slit. Larry and Barry didn’t leave him with energy for fighting like before.
Morsov was clearly braced for a fight, but Slit surprised them all. He threw his arms around Morsov and soundly kissed him on both cheeks before Morsov managed to break free.
“The fuck was that for?!” Morsov demanded. Morsov wasn’t a bad guy, not at all. He and Nux got along pretty well when Slit wasn’t around. Nux got along with everyone when Slit wasn’t around.
“You’re a real chrome lancer.” Slit lowered his voice to a loud whisper and confided, “Better than me.”
A happy grin slowly spread across Morsov’s face. “Yeah, I am. I’m glad you finally admitted it.” He gave Slit a friendly pat on the back and he and his snickering friends continued on their way.
Nux only turned away for a second, but when he turned back, Slit was gone. He seriously considered just going to his bunk and going to sleep, like he’d planned on doing. But he was Slit’s driver and kind of responsible for him.
He searched everywhere a War Boy could be and even a few places they weren’t really supposed to go. The Pups’ den was the last place he looked because it was late and they should have been asleep. Instead Nux found the littlest War Pups awake and giggling. Slit was crawling around on his hands and knees with a pup riding on his back.
Nux goggled at the sight. Slit didn’t like pups this little. He thought they were mediocre for crying to go back to their breeders. They only interested him when they got older and started trying to learn things from him. And yet here he was.
“What are you doing?” Nux hissed. “You woke them! They’re supposed to be asleep.”
Slit stood up and carefully cuddled the pup who’d been riding him. “They’re so precious,” he sighed. “Look at them.”
Nux wrestled the pup away from him and shooed them back to their nest of blankets.
“Let’s go, Slit,” he ordered, getting right up in Slit’s face and using that extra bit of height he had on him.
Slit slinked away and Nux followed, walking behind to make sure Slit didn’t disappear again. He waited for Slit to crawl into his bunk before climbing up to his own bunk. He’d just pulled off his boots and gotten comfortable when Slit climbed up and wedged himself in beside him. They were both too tall and Slit was definitely too broad for them to both fit in one bunk.
“Slit,” he growled.
“I’m lonely,” Slit whined, which was the most bizarre thing Nux had ever heard another War Boy say.
Nux really wanted to push him out of his bunk and watch him fall. But Slit did take care of him when he had really bad night fevers, no matter how much he complained while doing it, so Nux let him stay and tried to ignore his nonsensical babbling. All this hassle would be worth it tomorrow when Slit sobered and had to live with what he’d confessed to Morsov in front of everyone. Nux couldn’t wait.