crack!ficlet
Untitled
Rating: PG
Characters: Arya, Sansa, Sandor
Pairing: Sansa/Sandor
Word Count: 362
Summary: Arya saves Winterfell from a public disgrace.
Note: I was browsing the kink meme for inspiration and, alas, "SanSan, public displays of affection" led to this instead of porn.
Arya had seen a lot of awful things in her life, but this was possibly the most disgusting. Her sister Sansa and the Hound sucking each other's faces like they were starving animals. It was vile. Arya grabbed a withered apple from the table and threw it at them. It hit Sandor's thick skull and bounced off.
He lifted his head and growled at her like a real dog. Arya bared her teeth at him, daring him to try something with her. Sansa sighed and shook her head. "Arya," she said. "Arya." She sounded so condescendingly exasperated that Arya grabbed another apple and aimed it at her. She ducked and the apple ended up only ruffling her auburn hair, not hitting her stupid head. "ARYA!"
"I'm quite sure it's most improper for a lady to kiss a man like that at the dinner table," Arya told her, in an imitation of Sansa's own prissy self.
Sansa didn't even look embarrassed. She exchanged a look with Sandor and she sighed again. "Really, Arya, you're being childish."
Sandor had an ugly grin on his ugly face. "It's not that, little bird. The she-wolf wants a mate of her own and doesn't know how to find one."
"I do not!" Arya denied hotly. "And if I wanted a man, I could find one. It's easy."
"There isn't a man brave enough to risk his cock near her, I'll wager."
Arya pointed her eating knife at him, specifically at his groin. "Keep talking and we'll see if Sansa wants you without your cock."
"This is hardly proper conversation," Sansa chided them both.
They both ignored her. "Try it, she-wolf. I won't kill you for your sister's sake, but I'll hold you down and shave your head bald."
"Like you could," Arya scoffed. "I'll poke you full of more holes than a cheese grater."
Sansa huffed and began eating her soup, pointedly ignoring them. Arya was gratified. Sansa wouldn't be trying to swallow Sandor's tongue anymore tonight, at least not here in public. Arya picked up the apples she'd thrown and went to feed them to Stranger, content in the knowledge that she'd made Winterfell's hall safe.
Rating: PG
Characters: Arya, Sansa, Sandor
Pairing: Sansa/Sandor
Word Count: 362
Summary: Arya saves Winterfell from a public disgrace.
Note: I was browsing the kink meme for inspiration and, alas, "SanSan, public displays of affection" led to this instead of porn.
Arya had seen a lot of awful things in her life, but this was possibly the most disgusting. Her sister Sansa and the Hound sucking each other's faces like they were starving animals. It was vile. Arya grabbed a withered apple from the table and threw it at them. It hit Sandor's thick skull and bounced off.
He lifted his head and growled at her like a real dog. Arya bared her teeth at him, daring him to try something with her. Sansa sighed and shook her head. "Arya," she said. "Arya." She sounded so condescendingly exasperated that Arya grabbed another apple and aimed it at her. She ducked and the apple ended up only ruffling her auburn hair, not hitting her stupid head. "ARYA!"
"I'm quite sure it's most improper for a lady to kiss a man like that at the dinner table," Arya told her, in an imitation of Sansa's own prissy self.
Sansa didn't even look embarrassed. She exchanged a look with Sandor and she sighed again. "Really, Arya, you're being childish."
Sandor had an ugly grin on his ugly face. "It's not that, little bird. The she-wolf wants a mate of her own and doesn't know how to find one."
"I do not!" Arya denied hotly. "And if I wanted a man, I could find one. It's easy."
"There isn't a man brave enough to risk his cock near her, I'll wager."
Arya pointed her eating knife at him, specifically at his groin. "Keep talking and we'll see if Sansa wants you without your cock."
"This is hardly proper conversation," Sansa chided them both.
They both ignored her. "Try it, she-wolf. I won't kill you for your sister's sake, but I'll hold you down and shave your head bald."
"Like you could," Arya scoffed. "I'll poke you full of more holes than a cheese grater."
Sansa huffed and began eating her soup, pointedly ignoring them. Arya was gratified. Sansa wouldn't be trying to swallow Sandor's tongue anymore tonight, at least not here in public. Arya picked up the apples she'd thrown and went to feed them to Stranger, content in the knowledge that she'd made Winterfell's hall safe.