crack!fic: Mother of Hosts

[redcandle17]

Title: Mother of Hosts
Rating: R
Pairing: Theon/Melisandre
Word Count: 1,061
Summary: Theon Grejoy is pregnant by Melisandre. 100% crack!fic, with mpreg.
Note: For goluxexmachina.

Comments

[umihebizanomiko]

... I couldn't help reading after seeing the description. And yet now, I can't think of an adjective to describe this.

[redcandle17]

I did warn you. :P

[umihebizanomiko]

Yes, yes indeed. XD

[scalesandfins]

YEE HEE HEE HEE HEE. Oh my god, this is the bestest crack a girl could dream for. THEON BIRTHING THE SHADOW ASSBABY ARMY OF LIGHT. ASKDLFJALKSJFDKLASJDFKLASJKALSJDFK.

So many points of pure genius in this, like the sperm= millions of shadowbabies, and lines like

Theon felt faint. “How will they get out? Out my arse?”

“Yes,” Melisandre answered simply.

and

He remembered Ned Stark and his brats gathering to touch his wife’s belly whenever she was great with child. Theon vomited.

and oh the horrible shiny glory of

When I awake up Ramsay will feed me a rat and call me his pet. The thought should not have comforted him, but it did.

And Mel's twisted new-agey-midwife-bs speech, oh my gawwwd. This is all the crack I could have ever hoped for. <3 <3 <3 <3

*gets working on art* :D

[redcandle17]

This was a lot of fun to write. I'm glad it was what you wanted.