OMG, They Killed Science!
Just reposting a little commentfic that I wrote for the fabulous abyssinia_4077 and ultranos_fic, in the comments to their Meta for Red Sky: Ragnorak- Where Science Goes To Die. In keeping with my obsession for fixing canon, I concluded after reading their hilarious scientific critique of the episode that the things Sam says in the episode are so outrageous that Sam couldn't possibly have believed them. But if so, why would she say them? (*inserts tongue in cheek*)
Clearly, the real answer was very, very complicated:
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Bill Lee stared at the white board, then back at Samantha Carter. "Nuh-huh. I'm not going to try to explain this to the General." He glanced around and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Think we can get Felger to do it?"
Carter winced, "The problem is, Bill, the general is going to want *me* to explain it." She sighed. "I really don't like it, but there is a way to get across what we need."
Lee looked confused. "There is? How? Why?"
"I'll tell them something else. Plutonium poisoned the sun."
"That makes no sense."
"There are only about three people in the whole Stargate program who could possibly understand this. That's you, me and Bhutia, and I'm not sure he's coming back."
"He's still at the rehab center, isn't he?" Lee said. "I didn't think his injuries were that bad."
"They're saying nervous breakdown," Carter told him, looking rather sober. "I guess he had kind of a thing about bugs anyway, and after the whole replicator thing..."
Bill shuddered. "I still have nightmares."
"Yeah, well Bhutia still has them when he's awake," she shook her head. "But that doesn't help us with the K'Tau problem."
"Plutonium?" Bill Lee said dubiously. "You don't have to know much about science to know that makes no sense whatsoever."
"You'd be astonished at what people will believe if you tell it with a straight face," Carter assured him cynically. Then her expression turned thoughtful. "You know, if we play this right, I bet we can get them to give us a rocket."
Clearly, the real answer was very, very complicated:
------------------------
Bill Lee stared at the white board, then back at Samantha Carter. "Nuh-huh. I'm not going to try to explain this to the General." He glanced around and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Think we can get Felger to do it?"
Carter winced, "The problem is, Bill, the general is going to want *me* to explain it." She sighed. "I really don't like it, but there is a way to get across what we need."
Lee looked confused. "There is? How? Why?"
"I'll tell them something else. Plutonium poisoned the sun."
"That makes no sense."
"There are only about three people in the whole Stargate program who could possibly understand this. That's you, me and Bhutia, and I'm not sure he's coming back."
"He's still at the rehab center, isn't he?" Lee said. "I didn't think his injuries were that bad."
"They're saying nervous breakdown," Carter told him, looking rather sober. "I guess he had kind of a thing about bugs anyway, and after the whole replicator thing..."
Bill shuddered. "I still have nightmares."
"Yeah, well Bhutia still has them when he's awake," she shook her head. "But that doesn't help us with the K'Tau problem."
"Plutonium?" Bill Lee said dubiously. "You don't have to know much about science to know that makes no sense whatsoever."
"You'd be astonished at what people will believe if you tell it with a straight face," Carter assured him cynically. Then her expression turned thoughtful. "You know, if we play this right, I bet we can get them to give us a rocket."