(no subject)
Q: How many overeducated baristas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It takes three to even find the lightbulbs.
Do you guys remember the stories about crazy!Jesus!Steve from the coffee shop? He would come in and sweep our floors at night for us in exchange for coffee, but then stopped hanging out with us because we didn't believe the world was ending. (And because I live in a fantasy happy land. Or something). Well, I believe that tonight was the night he said the world would end. I would never have remembered except that ironically my coworker and I saw him walking up Royal St. tonight when we were leaving work. The world has not ended. I wonder if he'll forgive us now.
What? What is this? An actual post? Amazing.
Well I made my triumphant! return! to lj! post and then continued to not post except for the whining and the exclamations of asdfghjkomgdrawer! (Which will probably continue every time I post about the new season of Queer as Folk. That's about as articulate as I've managed to be).
I just haven't really felt like I have a lot to say. The last month or so before classes ended was crazily hectic in a way that made me feel like I was losing my mind ALL OF THE TIME. Between the great apartment hunt and school and everything else I was really drained and unfocused and it felt like I was fighting off a serious mood crash. I kept telling myself to hold it together until school got out and then if I needed to have a meltdown I could because all I have to do is go to work and I can totally push buttons on a coffee pot and have a meltdown at the same time. Nothin' to it. School ended, and the grades were good, even the econ grade was good somehow, miraculously. And I'm okay. I didn't have a meltdown (though I distinctly remember scheduling one for May back in January. Anyone who isn't me remember this conversation?) I'm moved into the new apartment and everything is organized. I go to work and I sleep a lot and that's what I wanted because if I were in school now I'd still be losing my mind. No question that I needed a break, especially with all of the stress that hit at the end of the semester. Sometimes I still feel a little like I'm fighting off a mood crash, but that's because I'm . . . not bored exactly; restless is the better word. I want something to happen. I want to do something, but then I just get frustrated by inability to figure out what that is (other than things I really should not be doing) and I revert to my best avoidance mechanism, which is the sleeping all the time. So it's this vicious cycle of avoiding the guilt of never getting anything done by going back to sleep and wow that doesn't even make sense in my head. I just want to feel like I have some kind of forward momentum, and I don't right now.
I guess I have that to say; so that's where I've been. I'm fine; I feel blah, but it'll pass. My mom is coming to visit in a couple of days and my parents have BOUGHT ME A CAR because they are wonderful and I am spoiled and I don't even care because no more of New Orleans' pathetic excuse for public transportation. This is the squee to end all squees. I'll feel a little more independent and self-reliant then, and that can only help. I don't want to be in a funk, especially when I have no reason to be in a funk.
And now. Fandom. I know a lot of people are concerned about what is going on in Angel fandom. There's less posts, less meta, less fic. More negativity. I get the concern. Fandom should be fun. I hope for most people that it still is.
*clings to Jossverse* I'm not going anywhere. You guys are stuck with me. Unless you defriend me, and even that would be okay because I would still stalk you anyway. I had my fandom break forced upon me when I has no real internet access for weeks. There's been quite enough of that, kthnx. I have energy that really must be channeled into something escapist because the second my obsessive tendencies get diverted into my actual life it really isn't pretty. I just realized how long it's been since I said something fannish other than asdfghjkdrawer.
When I started this livejournal I had one fandom - the Buffyverse. I friended people in that fandom. And ya'll are still here, and that's awesome. A lot of my friendslist has wandered off into other fandoms, and that's cool too. I have as well. It's better for me to be multifandom so that then those obsessive tendencies that are not going into my rl are split up even more and I come off as a little bit less psychofangirl than I otherwise would. (I think I come off as pretty psychofangirl in real life a lot of the time. I do try to scale it back). Fandom is always fun if you can stay out of the wank. I am peripheral to all fandom, and I am okay with this. I still consider the Jossverse my primary fandom, though I'm sure a lot of you wouldn't know it what with the QaF squeeage of late, but I do. It's so weird for me to look back at my posts and see how long it's been since I've mentioned Angel.
I really believe that the Jossverse has staying power. Yes, with a closed canon people are going to be wandering off. The appeal of television is at least partly in the serialized format and Angel, well, we know how it ends. But look at all the people who are worried about fandom involvement tapering off. There is still fic and still interest, at least from where I'm sitting. The fandom might be slowing down, but it isn't done. I don't think? See, now I'm all nervous. Is this that aforementioned happy fantasy land? I'm still working through my Not Fade Away issues, myself. Nothing is my show like Angel is my show, not The X-Files, even though I was obsessed with it first and for much longer, and not Queer as Folk despite the fangirl squealing you all are going to be subjected to for the next few months. Remember that I'm new to the show and the fandom and so I'm not burnt out. At all. Really. You should brace yourselves. I'm not kidding. It's about to get truly embarrasing.
All of that said, I wasn't feeling fannish for awhile. It's part of the blah. And also my muse has fucked right off. I can't write Angel fanfic because I'm obsessed with NFA and I can only write variations on a theme. Who survived, what did they do, etc. I can only write futurefic - usually melodramatic futurefic in the present tense. In the past this has worked well for me, but nothing is working at the moment. In my single QaF fic, I managed to avoid being a truly shameless fangirl by not actually showing the Brian/Justin interaction because that's the point where it pretty much falls apart into asdfghjkomgdrawer. I guess I could just embrace the badfic qualities and post on bjfic.net and be done with it. It is cathartic, but it will never see the light of day. When it comes to QaF, in all honesty, as I said before I'm amused by the melodrama and the overthetopness. I like the overthetopness, and I'm here for teh pretty. It's a little ridiculous, and I love that about it. Not burnt out. I really can't stress that enough.
I watch Lost. I watch House. I watch Gilmore Girls I fully intend to start watching Veronica Mars as soon as I get the episodes downloaded. I don't talk about other shows much, but I read the fandom discussions of them. I don't write fic for them, but I don't write fic for much of anything at the moment.
Some people probably are leaving the fandom, and there is less new fic. And everybody needs to do what they need to do for their own mental health, absolutely. I'm aware that I missed something as well; it seems that there was a lot of negativity and wank during the vast wasteland of my internet hiatus. I don't really know what it was about; I don't really want to. All I'm saying is that my fascination with new television is completely unrelated to what is still my devotion to Angel and my QaF love which is highly excessive at the moment does not lessen my Angel love. And Multifandom is good and the Jossverse will Not Fade Away. And that's all. (I have to reassure myself of this - it's those pesky Jossverse abandonment issues.) I guess I had something to say after all. That's usually what happens when I actually start typing. It's like real life, in which I pretty much never shut up. ;)
A: It takes three to even find the lightbulbs.
Do you guys remember the stories about crazy!Jesus!Steve from the coffee shop? He would come in and sweep our floors at night for us in exchange for coffee, but then stopped hanging out with us because we didn't believe the world was ending. (And because I live in a fantasy happy land. Or something). Well, I believe that tonight was the night he said the world would end. I would never have remembered except that ironically my coworker and I saw him walking up Royal St. tonight when we were leaving work. The world has not ended. I wonder if he'll forgive us now.
What? What is this? An actual post? Amazing.
Well I made my triumphant! return! to lj! post and then continued to not post except for the whining and the exclamations of asdfghjkomgdrawer! (Which will probably continue every time I post about the new season of Queer as Folk. That's about as articulate as I've managed to be).
I just haven't really felt like I have a lot to say. The last month or so before classes ended was crazily hectic in a way that made me feel like I was losing my mind ALL OF THE TIME. Between the great apartment hunt and school and everything else I was really drained and unfocused and it felt like I was fighting off a serious mood crash. I kept telling myself to hold it together until school got out and then if I needed to have a meltdown I could because all I have to do is go to work and I can totally push buttons on a coffee pot and have a meltdown at the same time. Nothin' to it. School ended, and the grades were good, even the econ grade was good somehow, miraculously. And I'm okay. I didn't have a meltdown (though I distinctly remember scheduling one for May back in January. Anyone who isn't me remember this conversation?) I'm moved into the new apartment and everything is organized. I go to work and I sleep a lot and that's what I wanted because if I were in school now I'd still be losing my mind. No question that I needed a break, especially with all of the stress that hit at the end of the semester. Sometimes I still feel a little like I'm fighting off a mood crash, but that's because I'm . . . not bored exactly; restless is the better word. I want something to happen. I want to do something, but then I just get frustrated by inability to figure out what that is (other than things I really should not be doing) and I revert to my best avoidance mechanism, which is the sleeping all the time. So it's this vicious cycle of avoiding the guilt of never getting anything done by going back to sleep and wow that doesn't even make sense in my head. I just want to feel like I have some kind of forward momentum, and I don't right now.
I guess I have that to say; so that's where I've been. I'm fine; I feel blah, but it'll pass. My mom is coming to visit in a couple of days and my parents have BOUGHT ME A CAR because they are wonderful and I am spoiled and I don't even care because no more of New Orleans' pathetic excuse for public transportation. This is the squee to end all squees. I'll feel a little more independent and self-reliant then, and that can only help. I don't want to be in a funk, especially when I have no reason to be in a funk.
And now. Fandom. I know a lot of people are concerned about what is going on in Angel fandom. There's less posts, less meta, less fic. More negativity. I get the concern. Fandom should be fun. I hope for most people that it still is.
*clings to Jossverse* I'm not going anywhere. You guys are stuck with me. Unless you defriend me, and even that would be okay because I would still stalk you anyway. I had my fandom break forced upon me when I has no real internet access for weeks. There's been quite enough of that, kthnx. I have energy that really must be channeled into something escapist because the second my obsessive tendencies get diverted into my actual life it really isn't pretty. I just realized how long it's been since I said something fannish other than asdfghjkdrawer.
When I started this livejournal I had one fandom - the Buffyverse. I friended people in that fandom. And ya'll are still here, and that's awesome. A lot of my friendslist has wandered off into other fandoms, and that's cool too. I have as well. It's better for me to be multifandom so that then those obsessive tendencies that are not going into my rl are split up even more and I come off as a little bit less psychofangirl than I otherwise would. (I think I come off as pretty psychofangirl in real life a lot of the time. I do try to scale it back). Fandom is always fun if you can stay out of the wank. I am peripheral to all fandom, and I am okay with this. I still consider the Jossverse my primary fandom, though I'm sure a lot of you wouldn't know it what with the QaF squeeage of late, but I do. It's so weird for me to look back at my posts and see how long it's been since I've mentioned Angel.
I really believe that the Jossverse has staying power. Yes, with a closed canon people are going to be wandering off. The appeal of television is at least partly in the serialized format and Angel, well, we know how it ends. But look at all the people who are worried about fandom involvement tapering off. There is still fic and still interest, at least from where I'm sitting. The fandom might be slowing down, but it isn't done. I don't think? See, now I'm all nervous. Is this that aforementioned happy fantasy land? I'm still working through my Not Fade Away issues, myself. Nothing is my show like Angel is my show, not The X-Files, even though I was obsessed with it first and for much longer, and not Queer as Folk despite the fangirl squealing you all are going to be subjected to for the next few months. Remember that I'm new to the show and the fandom and so I'm not burnt out. At all. Really. You should brace yourselves. I'm not kidding. It's about to get truly embarrasing.
All of that said, I wasn't feeling fannish for awhile. It's part of the blah. And also my muse has fucked right off. I can't write Angel fanfic because I'm obsessed with NFA and I can only write variations on a theme. Who survived, what did they do, etc. I can only write futurefic - usually melodramatic futurefic in the present tense. In the past this has worked well for me, but nothing is working at the moment. In my single QaF fic, I managed to avoid being a truly shameless fangirl by not actually showing the Brian/Justin interaction because that's the point where it pretty much falls apart into asdfghjkomgdrawer. I guess I could just embrace the badfic qualities and post on bjfic.net and be done with it. It is cathartic, but it will never see the light of day. When it comes to QaF, in all honesty, as I said before I'm amused by the melodrama and the overthetopness. I like the overthetopness, and I'm here for teh pretty. It's a little ridiculous, and I love that about it. Not burnt out. I really can't stress that enough.
I watch Lost. I watch House. I watch Gilmore Girls I fully intend to start watching Veronica Mars as soon as I get the episodes downloaded. I don't talk about other shows much, but I read the fandom discussions of them. I don't write fic for them, but I don't write fic for much of anything at the moment.
Some people probably are leaving the fandom, and there is less new fic. And everybody needs to do what they need to do for their own mental health, absolutely. I'm aware that I missed something as well; it seems that there was a lot of negativity and wank during the vast wasteland of my internet hiatus. I don't really know what it was about; I don't really want to. All I'm saying is that my fascination with new television is completely unrelated to what is still my devotion to Angel and my QaF love which is highly excessive at the moment does not lessen my Angel love. And Multifandom is good and the Jossverse will Not Fade Away. And that's all. (I have to reassure myself of this - it's those pesky Jossverse abandonment issues.) I guess I had something to say after all. That's usually what happens when I actually start typing. It's like real life, in which I pretty much never shut up. ;)