Things I Have Recently Watched
I didn't know whether to use a Vampire Diaries or Gossip Girl icon for this entry, so I put my Dark Shadows icon back, in honor of how terrible the new movie is. So let's talk about that first.
Dark Shadows
I went to the midnight opening, mostly just to get it over with, and it was the saddest, emptiest midnight opening I have ever been to - and I go to a lot of midnight openings. How did it even get one? Because it's Tim Burton? I wouldn't imagine the original has enough of a cult following to warrant that. Judging from the crowd, the cult following consists of me, the friend I was with, and five other people. Though who knows, maybe those five other people were there for Tim Burton.
I would like to say that I went into this movie giving it the benefit of the doubt, but that's a lie. I saw the trailer and went in extremely skeptical. For that reason, the movie was not actually as terrible as anticipated, but that's not saying a whole lot and basically means that there were moments in which I was marginally entertained. I think it was probably pretty boring in and of itself, but it probably wasn't awful. But I honestly don't know. I can't tell. I have zero ability to gauge how the movie would read to someone who was not fixated to the point of unhealthy obsession with the original when she was seven years-old. Barnabus was my first vampire. The 1960's Dark Shadows is in my top three formative texts. I was overjoyed when it was the Yuletide fic I received this year. But coming from that perspective, this movie was pretty much the opposite of what I wanted it to be.
Even in the beginning it was a little too Tim Burton for my taste, but the beginning (the part set in the 1700's) had promise - it was eerie and atmospheric, and Eva Green was excellently unsettling as Angelique and I was like "Oh! Oh? Maybe?" But no! Not even a little bit! As soon as it hit the 70's setting (which doesn't even make sense! The original was set in the 60's (or at least started there)! And why keep that when you're changing so much else!) it switched to lots of jokes about how Barnabus didn't fit and couldn't figure out lava lamps. I liked the casting well enough, and even liked Depp as Barnabus more than I expected too (even if he was a bit too...polished), but they really didn't give the actors enough to work with. The Barnabus/Josette epic love was deeply boring - which isn't exactly *not* in keeping with the original - but at least in the original it's developed and really supposed to be epic. Here all of the relationships are half-assed. Barnabus' relationships with both Josette and Vicky are all the surface and hardly developed at all. The real camaraderie and affection in his relationship with Julia is completely undercut. I can't remember if he kills her in the original too - he may, actually. But that's because Barnabus is A SERIOUS VAMPIRE. He's incredibly morally ambiguous and kind of an asshole. They didn't completely sugar coat him in the movie here, but they certainly didn't emphasize that either.
And then Angelique. My beloved Angelique. What have they done to you. The basic premise was consistent: Barnabus rejects her and she curses him to be a vampire, but then never completely falls out of love with him and turns up periodically to wreak havoc in his life and his descendents' lives for CENTURIES. So far so good! And yes, okay, she's kind of innately a creeper. Torturing your ex for eternity: not actually okay. Torturing your ex into loving you: not actually possible. However! There is context and nuance! Barnabus DID love her and DID betray her and was creepily obsessed with her too, despite Josette being his soulmate (or whatever, God Josette was boring). Barnabus: also an asshole. And yes, Angelique was the villain, but she was also badass powerful and fucking SCARY. And that's important! In the movie she just came across as desperate and pathetic and it was gross. Even at the end when she's dying and Barnabus is telling her they could have had eternity together, it was hollow because we'd never been shown that he actually had feelings for her, because all along she's portrayed as a straight-up villain, and a comedic one at that. A similar scene happens in the original too - but there when she's dying and he's telling her he did love her, you BELIEVE it because their relationship has been so fucked up and complicated and long, that of course he does.
They are basically the same ship as Angel/Darla is what I'm getting at. I'm the most predictable.
There were a few call-backs to the original that I liked - the house was well done. I liked the recurring iconic shot of the waves crashing against the rocks beneath Widow's Peak. Conflating the characters of Victoria and Maggie was a clever touch, given that Victoria was supposed to be the reincarnation of Josette, but Maggie was played by the same actress as Josette. So ha ha, yes, fine. And I liked that Vicky turned into Josette at the end and ended up a vampire because if Barnabus and Josette are going to be boring together, at least they can be boring vampires together. I (mostly) always like it when both parts of an epic love story are immortal. (See below episode reactions for an example of when I do not always like that).
If anyone who does not have the level of FEELINGS about the original that I do watched this movie, I would love to get your take on it.
And I have spent most of this season not talking about television at all, but now it's the end of the season and I have thoughts. Not even all of my thoughts are "wow, it is a good time to be me and have my shipping preferences!" Though that definitely seems to be true in television even if Dark Shadows was an OTP tragedy. Spoilers? Sorry.
HIMYM
I don't really have that many feelings on this anymore. I usually lose interest in sitcoms WAY before this point, but really now I just want to know who the fucking mother is. I'm just weighing in here to say YAYYYYY, Barney/Robin. Though confession: I loved Barney/Quinn a whole, whole lot and if that had ended up happening I would have been so okay with it. That episode where they make up that whole story about Quinn being super controlling just to mess with all of Barney's friends and then they high-five each other and grin a lot when the plot is revealed? And she wants to take it to the extreme they take it to because she "worships chaos?" LOVE IT. If they had gotten married that would have been A+ okay with me! Especially given that we haven't gotten any GOOD Barney/Robin stuff in a long time. I liked it when they were *friends* and then they were *friends who had sex* and then, yes, they were in a relationship, but it didn't have to be conventional and they understood each other. Then it was conventional and that was dumb. If they can make Barney/Robin great again, then I am 100% for this development. I believe they can! I just don't know that I believe that they will. Also, hopefully nothing terrible happens with Quinn because Quinn is also great.
Otherwise, some other stuff happened. And Ted was a tool. Ugh, I don't even care, just tell me who the mother is, HOW LONG CAN THIS CONTINUE.
Gossip Girl
I also don't have a whole lot to say here, since I stopped caring about non-Blair characters ages ago. I just want to log my terrible shipping choices here for posterity. There is no excuse for the way I feel about Chuck/Blair, and there's no excuse for still caring as much as I do given the inconsistency with which they have both been written over the last few seasons, but guys, I still love it. I'm not proud of myself, but S1-2 Chuck/Blair is pretty much everything I have ever wanted in a het OTP, and no I am never going to get over the trading-her-for-a-hotel thing or the way both of them have been character-assassinated by writers who don't understand the concept of emotional continuity, I AM STILL ROOTING FOR THEM. Also, Dan/Blair was just fundamentally never going to work for me. I'm sorry. :(( I know I have people on my flist who ship it. :(( But I never got it.
I did like them a lot as platonic friends, though, so the closest I ever came to really getting it was the moment when she was talking to her mom about the ways she loved them both - how Dan made her feel safe and stable, and Chuck took her to the intense extremes, but that's where all the *passion* was - and how she didn't know how to choose. And that I got! And in the recap below for another show, I am about to argue about how stable is the better choice and fuck those extremes! So I am not even consistent, but in this show, my reading is always that Chuck and Blair understand each other better than anyone else and always will. I am convinced of their soulmate-ness and I was so happy in that episode when she was getting her groove back or whatever, and that meant manipulative scheming with Chuck. I mean, next season will inevitably break them up because it's Gossip Girl and is another show that just needs to end already, but I loved that last scene of her tracking him down and fighting for him. I love them so much. I have such terrible taste. :( My character type is the worst. :((
ETA: How could I forget the most important part! Gabe was in this episode for a hot second, playing Serena's creepy drug dealer at the end. It was hilarious and terrible. I do wish it had been a bigger (or different-let's go with different) part and that he had interacted with Blair.
Vampire Diaries
FIRST THING: I am 110% a Stefan/Elena girl. I like Damon way more than I ever thought I would in the first season - he has seriously grown on me. There are things I really like about Elena's relationship with Damon, and I especially liked them when they were all prickly and platonic, but, and I've said this before, Stefan/Elena is maybe my favorite human/immortal pairing OF ALL TIME. And this episode just illustrated why over and over and over again. Stefan is so respectful of her agency. The difference in the way that Damon treats her and the way Stefan treats her is just so marked and was really hammered home here. Damon will always do what he feels she needs. Stefan is, first and foremost, always, always concerned with what she wants, and prioritizes letting her make her own decisions about her life over almost anything. And I love that so fucking much. And I love that she chooses him and chooses that and he's the one who makes her "glad she's alive." Neither one of them is my character type. As a pairing, it has none of the things I gravitate toward, except for the way it is based completely on admiration and trust and mutual respect and partnership. (Power balance and competence are my kinks. I'm so boring). That was why it was so hard to watch when Stefan was being such a DICK all season (and he was, he was awful), but even then he respected her choices/decisions, and they even drew attention to that a couple of times - like in the episode at the original family party where she actually thanks him for it. Stefan/Elena: pretty much everything I ever wanted in a vampire/human pairing.
Now, moving on to how it looks like it is no longer a vampire/human pairing. I didn't really anticipate Elena becoming a vampire, though if I'm remembering correctly, that does happen in the books eventually, and even in hindsight here it makes sense. It is also absolutely the most tragic thing that could have happened. (And here I am including Alaric's death, though I am also really going to miss him. Let's take a moment to appreciate him dying in Damon's arms, though. I choose to believe that not all of Damon's intense grief in that scene was for Elena. I ship(ped) Damon/Alaric so hard).
Making Elena a vampire is an interesting twist for the show for sure, but oh God, Elena. She didn't want it. She so emphatically didn't want it. And of course it happens, of course it does. She is dangerous to be around, and most of that isn't her fault - she could have helped Stefan and Damon, of course, but she can't help being the doppleganger and everything that means. Still, her friends have paid the price over and over again for being near her, for being her friends. Of course this was going to happen to her too eventually. Of course it was.
In other news, I am a little bummed that Klaus is not actually gone. MOST UNPOPULAR OF UNPOPULAR OPINIONS: Klaus is the worst. I hate him a lot. I was happy when he was emaciated and I was even happier when he was on fire. I understand he can't *die* if he actually did originate the Salvatore's line, but I am not super thrilled about him possessing Tyler or Bonnie's role in it. Terrible, terrible things have happened to Bonnie and so I kind of understand how she's gotten to the point she's gotten to, but it's still really sad and I can't believe she would do that to Tyler. Also, I liked Tyler, or at least I liked him more than Klaus. Of course, I like everyone more than Klaus. (I'm sorry!)
In other, other news: 1) in case I did not seem appropriately sad above, I am super bummed about Alaric. He got a good sendoff, but he was one of my favorites, and half of one of my two OTPs for this show, and I did feel like the Alaric-as-evil-vampire-hunter thing was rushed, so I am bummed about it; 2) Caroline is still and always will be the greatest; and 3) I still really miss Katherine. WHERE IS KATHERINE, SERIOUSLY. Nina Dobrev can play two vampire dopplegangers, it will be great.
ETA: I also finally saw Avengers, but I seem to have far fewer thoughts on that than the rest of fandom. Superhero fandoms don't tend to be my thing; I did really enjoy it, though. It was very Joss in all of the good ways - the dialog, the incisive little character insights. So yay! That was a great movie.
Things I have not seen, but may yet watch tonight unless I forgo television in favor of playing survival horror video games (Silent Hill whyyyyy did I even start playing): season finales of Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, and Community.
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Dark Shadows
I went to the midnight opening, mostly just to get it over with, and it was the saddest, emptiest midnight opening I have ever been to - and I go to a lot of midnight openings. How did it even get one? Because it's Tim Burton? I wouldn't imagine the original has enough of a cult following to warrant that. Judging from the crowd, the cult following consists of me, the friend I was with, and five other people. Though who knows, maybe those five other people were there for Tim Burton.
I would like to say that I went into this movie giving it the benefit of the doubt, but that's a lie. I saw the trailer and went in extremely skeptical. For that reason, the movie was not actually as terrible as anticipated, but that's not saying a whole lot and basically means that there were moments in which I was marginally entertained. I think it was probably pretty boring in and of itself, but it probably wasn't awful. But I honestly don't know. I can't tell. I have zero ability to gauge how the movie would read to someone who was not fixated to the point of unhealthy obsession with the original when she was seven years-old. Barnabus was my first vampire. The 1960's Dark Shadows is in my top three formative texts. I was overjoyed when it was the Yuletide fic I received this year. But coming from that perspective, this movie was pretty much the opposite of what I wanted it to be.
Even in the beginning it was a little too Tim Burton for my taste, but the beginning (the part set in the 1700's) had promise - it was eerie and atmospheric, and Eva Green was excellently unsettling as Angelique and I was like "Oh! Oh? Maybe?" But no! Not even a little bit! As soon as it hit the 70's setting (which doesn't even make sense! The original was set in the 60's (or at least started there)! And why keep that when you're changing so much else!) it switched to lots of jokes about how Barnabus didn't fit and couldn't figure out lava lamps. I liked the casting well enough, and even liked Depp as Barnabus more than I expected too (even if he was a bit too...polished), but they really didn't give the actors enough to work with. The Barnabus/Josette epic love was deeply boring - which isn't exactly *not* in keeping with the original - but at least in the original it's developed and really supposed to be epic. Here all of the relationships are half-assed. Barnabus' relationships with both Josette and Vicky are all the surface and hardly developed at all. The real camaraderie and affection in his relationship with Julia is completely undercut. I can't remember if he kills her in the original too - he may, actually. But that's because Barnabus is A SERIOUS VAMPIRE. He's incredibly morally ambiguous and kind of an asshole. They didn't completely sugar coat him in the movie here, but they certainly didn't emphasize that either.
And then Angelique. My beloved Angelique. What have they done to you. The basic premise was consistent: Barnabus rejects her and she curses him to be a vampire, but then never completely falls out of love with him and turns up periodically to wreak havoc in his life and his descendents' lives for CENTURIES. So far so good! And yes, okay, she's kind of innately a creeper. Torturing your ex for eternity: not actually okay. Torturing your ex into loving you: not actually possible. However! There is context and nuance! Barnabus DID love her and DID betray her and was creepily obsessed with her too, despite Josette being his soulmate (or whatever, God Josette was boring). Barnabus: also an asshole. And yes, Angelique was the villain, but she was also badass powerful and fucking SCARY. And that's important! In the movie she just came across as desperate and pathetic and it was gross. Even at the end when she's dying and Barnabus is telling her they could have had eternity together, it was hollow because we'd never been shown that he actually had feelings for her, because all along she's portrayed as a straight-up villain, and a comedic one at that. A similar scene happens in the original too - but there when she's dying and he's telling her he did love her, you BELIEVE it because their relationship has been so fucked up and complicated and long, that of course he does.
They are basically the same ship as Angel/Darla is what I'm getting at. I'm the most predictable.
There were a few call-backs to the original that I liked - the house was well done. I liked the recurring iconic shot of the waves crashing against the rocks beneath Widow's Peak. Conflating the characters of Victoria and Maggie was a clever touch, given that Victoria was supposed to be the reincarnation of Josette, but Maggie was played by the same actress as Josette. So ha ha, yes, fine. And I liked that Vicky turned into Josette at the end and ended up a vampire because if Barnabus and Josette are going to be boring together, at least they can be boring vampires together. I (mostly) always like it when both parts of an epic love story are immortal. (See below episode reactions for an example of when I do not always like that).
If anyone who does not have the level of FEELINGS about the original that I do watched this movie, I would love to get your take on it.
And I have spent most of this season not talking about television at all, but now it's the end of the season and I have thoughts. Not even all of my thoughts are "wow, it is a good time to be me and have my shipping preferences!" Though that definitely seems to be true in television even if Dark Shadows was an OTP tragedy. Spoilers? Sorry.
HIMYM
I don't really have that many feelings on this anymore. I usually lose interest in sitcoms WAY before this point, but really now I just want to know who the fucking mother is. I'm just weighing in here to say YAYYYYY, Barney/Robin. Though confession: I loved Barney/Quinn a whole, whole lot and if that had ended up happening I would have been so okay with it. That episode where they make up that whole story about Quinn being super controlling just to mess with all of Barney's friends and then they high-five each other and grin a lot when the plot is revealed? And she wants to take it to the extreme they take it to because she "worships chaos?" LOVE IT. If they had gotten married that would have been A+ okay with me! Especially given that we haven't gotten any GOOD Barney/Robin stuff in a long time. I liked it when they were *friends* and then they were *friends who had sex* and then, yes, they were in a relationship, but it didn't have to be conventional and they understood each other. Then it was conventional and that was dumb. If they can make Barney/Robin great again, then I am 100% for this development. I believe they can! I just don't know that I believe that they will. Also, hopefully nothing terrible happens with Quinn because Quinn is also great.
Otherwise, some other stuff happened. And Ted was a tool. Ugh, I don't even care, just tell me who the mother is, HOW LONG CAN THIS CONTINUE.
Gossip Girl
I also don't have a whole lot to say here, since I stopped caring about non-Blair characters ages ago. I just want to log my terrible shipping choices here for posterity. There is no excuse for the way I feel about Chuck/Blair, and there's no excuse for still caring as much as I do given the inconsistency with which they have both been written over the last few seasons, but guys, I still love it. I'm not proud of myself, but S1-2 Chuck/Blair is pretty much everything I have ever wanted in a het OTP, and no I am never going to get over the trading-her-for-a-hotel thing or the way both of them have been character-assassinated by writers who don't understand the concept of emotional continuity, I AM STILL ROOTING FOR THEM. Also, Dan/Blair was just fundamentally never going to work for me. I'm sorry. :(( I know I have people on my flist who ship it. :(( But I never got it.
I did like them a lot as platonic friends, though, so the closest I ever came to really getting it was the moment when she was talking to her mom about the ways she loved them both - how Dan made her feel safe and stable, and Chuck took her to the intense extremes, but that's where all the *passion* was - and how she didn't know how to choose. And that I got! And in the recap below for another show, I am about to argue about how stable is the better choice and fuck those extremes! So I am not even consistent, but in this show, my reading is always that Chuck and Blair understand each other better than anyone else and always will. I am convinced of their soulmate-ness and I was so happy in that episode when she was getting her groove back or whatever, and that meant manipulative scheming with Chuck. I mean, next season will inevitably break them up because it's Gossip Girl and is another show that just needs to end already, but I loved that last scene of her tracking him down and fighting for him. I love them so much. I have such terrible taste. :( My character type is the worst. :((
ETA: How could I forget the most important part! Gabe was in this episode for a hot second, playing Serena's creepy drug dealer at the end. It was hilarious and terrible. I do wish it had been a bigger (or different-let's go with different) part and that he had interacted with Blair.
Vampire Diaries
FIRST THING: I am 110% a Stefan/Elena girl. I like Damon way more than I ever thought I would in the first season - he has seriously grown on me. There are things I really like about Elena's relationship with Damon, and I especially liked them when they were all prickly and platonic, but, and I've said this before, Stefan/Elena is maybe my favorite human/immortal pairing OF ALL TIME. And this episode just illustrated why over and over and over again. Stefan is so respectful of her agency. The difference in the way that Damon treats her and the way Stefan treats her is just so marked and was really hammered home here. Damon will always do what he feels she needs. Stefan is, first and foremost, always, always concerned with what she wants, and prioritizes letting her make her own decisions about her life over almost anything. And I love that so fucking much. And I love that she chooses him and chooses that and he's the one who makes her "glad she's alive." Neither one of them is my character type. As a pairing, it has none of the things I gravitate toward, except for the way it is based completely on admiration and trust and mutual respect and partnership. (Power balance and competence are my kinks. I'm so boring). That was why it was so hard to watch when Stefan was being such a DICK all season (and he was, he was awful), but even then he respected her choices/decisions, and they even drew attention to that a couple of times - like in the episode at the original family party where she actually thanks him for it. Stefan/Elena: pretty much everything I ever wanted in a vampire/human pairing.
Now, moving on to how it looks like it is no longer a vampire/human pairing. I didn't really anticipate Elena becoming a vampire, though if I'm remembering correctly, that does happen in the books eventually, and even in hindsight here it makes sense. It is also absolutely the most tragic thing that could have happened. (And here I am including Alaric's death, though I am also really going to miss him. Let's take a moment to appreciate him dying in Damon's arms, though. I choose to believe that not all of Damon's intense grief in that scene was for Elena. I ship(ped) Damon/Alaric so hard).
Making Elena a vampire is an interesting twist for the show for sure, but oh God, Elena. She didn't want it. She so emphatically didn't want it. And of course it happens, of course it does. She is dangerous to be around, and most of that isn't her fault - she could have helped Stefan and Damon, of course, but she can't help being the doppleganger and everything that means. Still, her friends have paid the price over and over again for being near her, for being her friends. Of course this was going to happen to her too eventually. Of course it was.
In other news, I am a little bummed that Klaus is not actually gone. MOST UNPOPULAR OF UNPOPULAR OPINIONS: Klaus is the worst. I hate him a lot. I was happy when he was emaciated and I was even happier when he was on fire. I understand he can't *die* if he actually did originate the Salvatore's line, but I am not super thrilled about him possessing Tyler or Bonnie's role in it. Terrible, terrible things have happened to Bonnie and so I kind of understand how she's gotten to the point she's gotten to, but it's still really sad and I can't believe she would do that to Tyler. Also, I liked Tyler, or at least I liked him more than Klaus. Of course, I like everyone more than Klaus. (I'm sorry!)
In other, other news: 1) in case I did not seem appropriately sad above, I am super bummed about Alaric. He got a good sendoff, but he was one of my favorites, and half of one of my two OTPs for this show, and I did feel like the Alaric-as-evil-vampire-hunter thing was rushed, so I am bummed about it; 2) Caroline is still and always will be the greatest; and 3) I still really miss Katherine. WHERE IS KATHERINE, SERIOUSLY. Nina Dobrev can play two vampire dopplegangers, it will be great.
ETA: I also finally saw Avengers, but I seem to have far fewer thoughts on that than the rest of fandom. Superhero fandoms don't tend to be my thing; I did really enjoy it, though. It was very Joss in all of the good ways - the dialog, the incisive little character insights. So yay! That was a great movie.
Things I have not seen, but may yet watch tonight unless I forgo television in favor of playing survival horror video games (Silent Hill whyyyyy did I even start playing): season finales of Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, and Community.
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