Whiteboy Samurai, Historical Accuracy and Movie Boyfriends

[redbeangirl]

Spoileriffic thoughts on The Last Samurai....which I have now seen twice in 24 hours. Craaazy.

• Things that annoyed me but weren't really that important:
• Am I remembering incorrectly, or was "Meiji" the emperor's POSTHUMOUS title?
• General Hasegawa's head falling to the ground after his suicide in the forest. When done properly, the cut should leave enough skin to keep the head from rolling away. A Samurai of Kastumoto's caliber would be a better second than that. I know they did it this way because it would look better on film, but I am still irritated.
• Everyone was constantly throwing their swords. Their KATANA, which aren't balanced for throwing. A swordsman would only do this as a desperate last resort. When Algren threw his sword at Colonel Bagley during the final battle, and then LEFT IT sticking out of the man's chest, I wanted to spork my own eyes out.
• Don't longbows have a greater range than turn of the century firearms? Or maybe I'm just on crack...
• It would have been nice to have been told what domain/province Katsumoto was from, and his position within it. Was he a Daimyo who'd been stripped of his power and had retired to the mountains? A high-ranking Samurai who presided over a small but warrior-packed little town? I don't feel like this is asking too much. -_-
• Um....didn't people take baths in...bathtubs? Bath houses? Some kind of constructed bathtub-like object? Even in rural areas? Though I suppose those could have been hotsprings....
• Tom Cruise, though short for a white guy, is still kinda tall for a Japanese man. And much more stocky. I find it a little hard to believe that Dead Husband's armor fit him that well.
• The constant parallels drawn between Algren's experiences with the Native Americans and with the Samurai. They actually don't resemble each other at all, aside from that they're both fucked in the long run.
• The soundtrack.
• The kiss.
• The fact that Katsumoto did not have onscreen sex with Algren.
• The fact that Katsumoto did not have onscreen sex with Kenshin, even though he wasn't actually IN this movie.

• Things that annoyed me and were a BIG FUCKING DEAL:
• It is never explained WHY Kastumoto is leading his rebellion in the first place. There is vague talk about Honor and Dignity and Tradition. These are not good enough reasons. I understand that politics are complicated, but SOME effort to do the Seinan War justice (as that's supposedly what this is based on) would have been helpful.
• Speaking of which, I remain confused as to why they bothered to create a fictional character, when a romanticized version of Saigou would have done just as well. While I have a fair amount of tolerance for punching up historical figures to make them more interesting/dramatic/consistent, I have very little patience for laziness when it comes to research. Most of my research has ostensibly been done for a sake of a FANFIC, and even I know enough to have done a better job than this. This film had three writers and a massive budget. They could have paid someone to translate Japanese historical texts. They could have hired a professor of Japanese history as a consultant. They could have gone to the fucking library and spent a week reading up on the period. *tsks* No time, man....no time.
• Tom Cruise should not have been shouldering so much of this film. If the White Man needs to be there, fine -- I can understand that, as feudal Japanese culture actually IS hard for western audiences to relate to, and the whole stranger in a strange land device can be a useful way to give the viewer an "in." But there was no need to have him be so painfully mary sue-like in concept and execution. Not ONLY did he unintentionally betray his Native American brethren, get captured by and then befriend his enemy, learn the way of the warrior AND the language in a matter of months and put the moves on the Tragic Widow....he ALSO rode into battle alongside his new comrades, was instrumental in and the only survivor of said battle, marched uninvited into the emperor's chambers, presented him with his dead buddy's sword and thus convinced him to have a radical change of heart regarding foreign policy. *sighs heavily* And really, all of this would have been tolerable had anyone BUT Tom Cruise been playing the part of Algren. -_-
• Moments that were supposed to be about Katsumoto kept being hijacked by Algren. When the townspeople made way for the delegation from Katsumoto's village; when Katsumoto died, leaving Algren in a circle of deeply bowing infantry; when Katsumoto's sword was presented to the emperor -- all of these moments were about Katsumoto, a living legend of a man who was deeply admired and respected by his fellow countrymen and represented everything that was worth remembering about the old ways. But they were directed in such a way that they always SEEMED to be about Algren. Once again...much annoyance. It cheapened the film, and left me feeling like I had been cheated, or at least lied to.
• And really, there just wasn't enough Katsumoto. How could there be, without him being the main character? Watanabe's performance was incredible, and I plan to go out and rent every movie he has ever been in. Whatever with Cruise, whatever with his lame-ass soldierboy character....Katsumoto was the obvious heart of this film, and it would have fallen apart entirely without him.
• The "Samurai rock, westernization is Bad" message was oversimplified and heavy handed. As a friend of mine helpfully pointed out, while we see Aldren fire a gun during the NA massacre, we don't see who he hits; while we know that Katsumoto is a Samurai, the details of what this entails and the unbalanced class system that supported him were glossed over or ignored entirely. By refusing to allow any of the main characters to do anything wrong -- to make bad choices or act for selfish or misinformed reasons -- the writers killed whatever depth this movie might otherwise have had.

• Things that were REALLY COOL, and prompted me to see this fucking thing more than once in the first place:
• Katsumoto. I love him. He was my dirtyoldman movie boyfriend. Whenever he was onscreen, I could feel my face lighting up. I am so jazzed to finish reading my Saigou biography and get cracking on chapter three because I CANNOT WAIT to write about the man who inspired this fantastic character. I know that most of why he was fantastic had less to do with the film and more to do with Ken Watanabe being the shit, but I feel this is a minor detail.
• Katsumoto's son, Nobutada. He is my movie boyfriend proper. He's a great actor, he's drop dead gorgeous, his hair is tragically cut off by policemen and he dies a noble death on a bridge. Aside from the being dead part, he is my man of destiny. I am SO using him as a model for a character in my original-comic-side-project-thing. (ALSO, please note that the other film that the actor, Shin Koyamada, is listed as appearing in is called A Ninja Pays Half my Rent.)
• The man who taught swordfighting...Ujio, I think? He's the guy I cheat on my movie boyfriend with. For a character with so little screentime, he grabbed my attention and held onto it for dear life. His death upset me more than anyone else's, save the father and son duo listed above.
• So. Many. Swords.
• And archers. I really like archers.
• And men with long hair.
• In kimono.
• Bob!!!
• Katsumoto as poet
• Katsumoto as actor
• The costumes. Especially the armor. All I have to say is: drool.
• The mountain village. I want to live there. I want to live there SOBAD.
• The fact that "conversations" is obviously a codeword for "monkey sex."

• SQUEEKENSHIN moments:
• Omura, strangely, as he reminded me of a host of bit characters.
• The policemen. I half expected Ken to come wandering around the corner. I just wish they'd had swords.
• The ninja with the chain. Yes, I'm random and fixate on small things.
• The gattling gun. My heart bled for Aoshi, it honestly did. Even though he done Shinta wrong, the two-timing whip-cracking bastard...

*looks back over post*

Wow. That's scarily long. O_O

ETA: Just to clarify, I know that this movie was loosely based on Saigou and the Satsuma Rebellion/Seinan War/War of the Southwest. Past geeky posts on the topic are here and here (note that the second one is ooooolllld.) Some of my bitching about how not enough information is given has less to do with MY being confused and more to do with how a film is supposed to be crafted.