(no subject)
pinesandmaples was giving out years for a meme and I volunteered.
1992! Big year for me. Lots of stuff happened.
Age then: I turned 9 in June. 8 days later my little sister was born.
Age now: 33
Relationship then: Hahahahahaha. It was the kind of trauma that turns into PTSD. My therapist made so many sad faces when I talked about that point in my childhood(1) and how I related to my peers. I still don't know how to make friends because of that shit.
Relationship now: I am married. I have friends.
Where I lived then: This was the year my parents bought their house. I think we moved in July. We were in an apartment complex before then.(2)
Where I live now: I bought my maternal grandparents' house when my grandfather passed. The SU and I had been looking for a house and this one had everything we wanted. I am house proud and love it.
Was I happy then: Probably. I was a kid. Puberty hadn't screwed me over with brain chemistry yet. My grandmother died that year which was rough. My mom was pregnant at the time. (It was her mom.) I got a pet cat whom I loved very much. My sister was born. I think I got a bike for xmas.
Am I happy now: Mostly? Like right now I'm Depressed, which sucks, but that's a sometimes thing and not an always thing. I have a fantastic spouse. Good group of friends. Enough money in savings that my needing hip surgery and not working for 2 months is possible even if it makes things tight. I'd say on the whole that I'm happier. I'm not getting spit on or hit and no one is telling me that the things I'm feeling are wrong. I have the vocabulary now to express my wants and needs and those times when I don't have the right words I can talk my way around what I need to get the point across. The ADD is still officially undiagnosed, but a lot of the other neurodivergent stuff is official and I've done the work with a therapist to be able to work around it. I haven't chewed my fingers bloody in years. Um..
Happy is such a weird concept for me. It's something I struggle with. I'd say on a whole I'm a healthier person than I was then. I am a person who experiences more joy.
(1) I've talked pretty openly about being bullied. I basically went through hell from third through eight grade and it sucked. Mental and emotional abuse and gaslighting started almost immediately. Start of fourth grade was the start of the worst of the physical abuse that continued through the end of fifth grade. I started fifth grade with bruising that hadn't faded from the previous school year. Which was ... yeah.
(2) Cute anecdote to balance out the previous: The apartment complex we were living in had 8 apartments and 6 off them had pregnant ladies living in them at the same time. Then a pregnant cat turned up and got adopted by one of the pregnant ladies. So the single guy and the newlyweds swore off drinking the tap water. There was a wreath made for the new babies and it just got moved from door to door as the kids got born. 5 girls and 1 boy. When the cat had kittens everyone adopted one. The end.
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