Seeds of Suspicion

[shimotsuki]

Title: Seeds of Suspicion
Author: shimotsuki
Summary: What should have been a cozy evening in Godric's Hollow becomes a first step down the path to tragedy.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1112
Author's Note: For a GoF/OotP story I'm currently writing, I needed to figure out some Marauder-era backstory, which turned into this ficlet. Prompts were greed, first

Comments

[bratanimus]

My apologies for the delay in reviewing! :( I was out of town this weekend, then got busy with work, etc. Without further ado:

It's so nice to see this written about, and you did a fantastic job. I've often thought that Peter ("the world's forgotten boy" - excellent choice of prompt!) must have had a hand in spreading the seeds of suspicion.

I loved the description of Friday nights at Godric's Hollow. The depiction of Sirius with his dragon-hide jacket, and his motorcycle, and his bachelor's flat in a trendy London neighbourhood baking biscuits is strangely fitting! I'd love to see that, actually. ;) And it makes sense, given that he probably had a less-than-satisfying home life as a child, that he'd probably love a bit of domesticity in small doses. Of course, he gets to go home at the end of the night, so Friday nights may be just enough for him. Or are they? I really like this little peek into Sirius' psyche. Makes me wonder more about him.

Love how Lily misinterprets Peter's twitch as fear. Well, I suppose it is fear, but not for the reason she thinks. And Peter is so darn sneaky in this, insinuating his little comments into the conversation so casually, as if everyone's life wasn't about to change because of them. Little jerk. ;)

Loved the slow dawning of possibility as Sirius realizes the Death Eaters have been consistently "lucky." And his sharp eyes on Peter as he pokes the embers. And the outburst at the end, tinged with worry. *shivers*

I really liked the characterization of Lily in this. I liked that she worries about Remus, and misses his comfortable friendship. And how she wants him just to turn up already and put an end to Peter's nonsense. And I like that she looks at her husband and knows he's just as angry as she is. And even though Remus isn't present in the story, Lily's descriptions of his self-deprecating grin and some kind of story about being stuck with his maiden aunties in Bath all week makes me feel as though he is. Or should be.

Wonderful snapshot of their lives, just before everything goes all to hell. I really loved this! :D

[shimotsuki]

(There's no such thing as a delayed review...all feedback is always appreciated, whenever!)

Thanks so much for your detailed, thoughtful comments. I had a lot of fun trying to make Peter sneaky -- we know what he's doing, but it's never crossed his friends' minds that he might be up to something himself. I'm glad you thought that secretly-(slightly?)-domestic Sirius was plausible, too. What really stands out for me about Sirius in canon is the contrast between his apparent suave coolness (pre-Azkaban) and his fierce capacity for love and loyalty.

even though Remus isn't present in the story -- I hoped that wouldn't disqualify the story from this comm (heh), but since the absence of Remus was itself the driving force behind the plot I didn't think it was too much of a cheat.

Thanks again!

[bratanimus]

I hoped that wouldn't disqualify the story from this comm (heh), but since the absence of Remus was itself the driving force behind the plot I didn't think it was too much of a cheat.

It's not a cheat at all! :D This community is also for Remus-centric and Lily-centric fics, not just Remus AND Lily fics ... and yours was a Lily-centric one. Don't be thrown by the shippy name (although ship fics are always welcome). ;)

I loved ladybracknell's comment about Peter actually talking about HIMSELF (the other side respecting him, etc.). I hadn't caught that the first (or second) time around! Excellent. :)