Serving
I am super shag lolz !
But still i thought i want to pen this down to remember it.
I was told of the message " To serve " from the previous meditation.
From my EVER BEATING AROUND THE BUSHES GUIDE. lol !
And really had to THANK JASON for always being the one to help me decipher his riddles.
I was jogging with jasper at ecp in the morning, and he was talking about the conversation with god book.
About what he felt about the quote i had previously blogged.
He was sharing it, and i could really see the excitement in his eyes as he share his thoughts. lol :)
Jasper is really an amazing guy.
He just seems to have this x factor in him.
We went to the east coast hawker after that, and jasper mentioned that there are only certain food he eat.
So i went following him around looking for the food he could eat.
And mid way he was like mentioning " Never mind you can go and find your own food, i will find something to eat. "
And still i kept on following him around LOLZ !!
And until he found his food, and i decided i will eat the same thing too and shared the food.
From this it really seems that i have no will of my own, and i am just following others.
But i guess thats just so me.
Following him around to look for the food he can eat just make me feel very happy. :)
It like throughout my friendships, and relationships.
I had always been playing the role of serving.
I had always been playing a being there for my friend and helping my friends role.
It really explains why i am always helping out my friends to do posters for their hall activities, even when i am having exams,
doing videos for my army friend's wedding, for my friend's project and work.
And yet doing it so happily.
It really explains why i can fetch clara back home to get her lap top and after that go all the way back to her work place and finally fetch my
friend back home in jurong. How i always insist on fetching all my friends back after party, clubbing when i know i am super dead tired.
And in the end spending one hour plus drivng everyone back. And end up the last to reach home and super tired.
Why am i doing all these ?
To please my friends ? To suit my friends need ? Cos i care for my friends ? Cos i focus on others rather than myself ?
It is because i believe in serving.
Puting others before self is always what i strongly believe.
And by doing that i am very happy. By suiting my friend's needs and change myself for my friends, just makes me feel so satisfied.
It really explain why i like to buy expensive gifts and treat my friends to expensive meals.
Because, i want my friends whom i cared about to have the best.
I like to serve them. I enjoy serving them.
To be of service to them, makes me very happy, and it just amplifies who i am. Someone who serve.
Which is why i find the focusing on only yourself, and you don't need others to complete you so hard
to understand. Because throughout my life, i had always been living for others.
And by living for others, i find true happiness myself.
Being able to contribute significantly to a person and my friends brings true happiness to me.
So i cannot focus on myself, cos focusing on others, would actually indirectly means that i focus on myself.
Cos it makes me happy :)
And being there for others make me feel complete.
So i really want to apologize to all my friends who sometimes feel uncomfortable about the things i do.
Like clara felt very bad that i had to drive her around, like ray who felt that i spend too much on his birthday.
Cos to be able to serve my friends just makes me feel so happy.
Maybe that explains why everyone hates National Service so much when i just love it to the MAX.
Cos i simply love serving :) LOLZ .
But still i thought i want to pen this down to remember it.
I was told of the message " To serve " from the previous meditation.
From my EVER BEATING AROUND THE BUSHES GUIDE. lol !
And really had to THANK JASON for always being the one to help me decipher his riddles.
I was jogging with jasper at ecp in the morning, and he was talking about the conversation with god book.
About what he felt about the quote i had previously blogged.
He was sharing it, and i could really see the excitement in his eyes as he share his thoughts. lol :)
Jasper is really an amazing guy.
He just seems to have this x factor in him.
We went to the east coast hawker after that, and jasper mentioned that there are only certain food he eat.
So i went following him around looking for the food he could eat.
And mid way he was like mentioning " Never mind you can go and find your own food, i will find something to eat. "
And still i kept on following him around LOLZ !!
And until he found his food, and i decided i will eat the same thing too and shared the food.
From this it really seems that i have no will of my own, and i am just following others.
But i guess thats just so me.
Following him around to look for the food he can eat just make me feel very happy. :)
It like throughout my friendships, and relationships.
I had always been playing the role of serving.
I had always been playing a being there for my friend and helping my friends role.
It really explains why i am always helping out my friends to do posters for their hall activities, even when i am having exams,
doing videos for my army friend's wedding, for my friend's project and work.
And yet doing it so happily.
It really explains why i can fetch clara back home to get her lap top and after that go all the way back to her work place and finally fetch my
friend back home in jurong. How i always insist on fetching all my friends back after party, clubbing when i know i am super dead tired.
And in the end spending one hour plus drivng everyone back. And end up the last to reach home and super tired.
Why am i doing all these ?
To please my friends ? To suit my friends need ? Cos i care for my friends ? Cos i focus on others rather than myself ?
It is because i believe in serving.
Puting others before self is always what i strongly believe.
And by doing that i am very happy. By suiting my friend's needs and change myself for my friends, just makes me feel so satisfied.
It really explain why i like to buy expensive gifts and treat my friends to expensive meals.
Because, i want my friends whom i cared about to have the best.
I like to serve them. I enjoy serving them.
To be of service to them, makes me very happy, and it just amplifies who i am. Someone who serve.
Which is why i find the focusing on only yourself, and you don't need others to complete you so hard
to understand. Because throughout my life, i had always been living for others.
And by living for others, i find true happiness myself.
Being able to contribute significantly to a person and my friends brings true happiness to me.
So i cannot focus on myself, cos focusing on others, would actually indirectly means that i focus on myself.
Cos it makes me happy :)
And being there for others make me feel complete.
So i really want to apologize to all my friends who sometimes feel uncomfortable about the things i do.
Like clara felt very bad that i had to drive her around, like ray who felt that i spend too much on his birthday.
Cos to be able to serve my friends just makes me feel so happy.
Maybe that explains why everyone hates National Service so much when i just love it to the MAX.
Cos i simply love serving :) LOLZ .