much like before

[red_tired]

i feel like my skin is melting off
like im in one of those surrealistic independant movies;
that you only half get, but fully feel

pushed to the point where i could spill over but dont
why
i also dont have the abilty to figure that out
or why i cant be satisfied like i imagine everyone else is
it feels like its more than that though
like im absolutly right in feeling what i do
how hilarious, justifying my tantrums
throwing 'buts' around like a teenager
acting like im still sitting alone in the cafeteria/
locked up in my room frowning and listening to tori or maynard or eddie

i feel like i should be growing up, getting over it
moving on.
what is it? shit or get off the pot?
but i dont want to shit (gross) and im not sure im ready for all the rest