Comments | red_satin_doll: More thoughts about "Anne": Buffy's depression arc (2/?)

red_satin_doll

More thoughts about "Anne": Buffy's depression arc (2/?)

Nov 20, 2012 13:30

Note to self: Try rewatch an episode before writing meta about it. Because I rewatched "Anne" this morning, and it's even better than I remembered. In fact, I can say that it and "Bargaining" are my favorite season openers (Note to everyone else: I cannot get the lj cut tag to work, in either rich text or html, even after much effort. So I ( Read more... )

f is for feminist, fandom: btvs, char: buffy summers, what doesn't kill you, setting: s3, women of the buffyverse, meta, episode: anne s3.01, depression

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red_satin_doll November 20 2012, 19:56:36 UTC

So much yes. I watched the scene I chose above - Buffy on the bed in that tiny LA apartment, with an open soup can in her hands, unable to summon the will or energy to feed herself - self-care is one of the first things to go in depression - and it hit me very hard because I know that feeling intimately. It's all the more amazing in that according to Joss, Sarah had never experienced depression and had a hard time understanding the utter lack of focus that accompanies it; and yet hers is one of the best portrayals of the illness I've ever seen. (And ironically, it's a subject she returned to in Veronika Decides to Die, and The Grunge 2.)

I read a fan comment on the ATV Club that SMG "Doesn't do glum well." Huh? Honestly, she had me fooled, and I know from "glum." I was also watching Beauty and the Beasts (s.04), the first time we see her seeking a therapist's or counselor's help because Angel has returned; that one scene, in which she is panicked, distraught and terrified deserves it's own meta analysis.

and she has this great tension to give up. Giving up for Buffy means death
If anything I'd argue that she tries not to give up and keeps fighting until it's too hard to bear anymore; being the Slayer - and having Slayer strength - doesn't translate into emotional strength, but it's a load she has to bear on her own. And it's that tendency to keep going beyond her own breaking point that causes so much trouble, esp in S7.

A lot is made of the "Slayer's death wish" but I don't entirely buy it. Being out of a difficult and painful situation, wanting relief, wanting to simply rest, is not the same as wanting to die. She may be "suicidal" in The Gift (although the only other option is to sacrifice her own sister, and that is NOT in Buffy's nature; and anyway I think there's more too it), and in OMWF, but for the most part I think the "death wish" is overstated. Struggling with depression myself I can tell you that "life" is the strongest force there is; our body and mind struggle to stay alive and choose it over death. If this were not the case, then suicides would be legion.

And of course she has no recourse to therapy, which would have been a boon to her.

I often think about her last goodbye with Angel, in S3. She just stands there, she doesn't fight.

Interesting, I hadn't thought about it in that light.

kikimay November 20 2012, 20:12:31 UTC

I have the most biggest crush for Sarah and, like you, I'm impressed by her ability to portray depressed women. She's just so realistic, she's incredibly perfect.
About the death wish thingy I agree with you, but I want to express myself better: if living as Slayer means an endless fight, the secret wish would be to cease to fight, to find peace. Giving up on battling everytime and find some space to rest. Except that this, for a Slayer, means death because a Slayer must be always prepared (Kendra!).
I think that Buffy can embrace fighting and resting only in Season Seven, when she understand how it's done living, basically.
I have also experience with this kind of unpleasant stuff and I can tell that, for me, the hardest thing is trying to be a balanced person, knowing when I need to fight with all my energy and knowing when I need to rest and have faith in the people beside me. It's really the hardest thing and maybe I'm projecting my issues on Buffy, but I feel that she also find it very hard.

red_satin_doll November 20 2012, 22:51:47 UTC

I have a crush on Sarah too (hey, I'm a lesbian - allowed, right? And she is just freaking ADORABLE, and fierce) and I enjoy her forthright qualities, her willingness to speak her mind and not be "nice" in the way girls are supposed to be (hence the "bitch" label); on the other hand I watched her on a recent late night show and saw that she has a fiercely competitive streak. I wouldn't want to be in her sights but I'm glad she exists, if that makes sense? Sharon Stone said "A vagina and a point of view are a dangerous combination" and I think that fits Sarah nicely.

if living as Slayer means an endless fight, the secret wish would be to cease to fight, to find peace. Giving up on battling everytime and find some space to rest. Except that this, for a Slayer, means death because a Slayer must be always prepared (Kendra!).

I understand what you mean now. (Kendra is an excellent point. And the only "rest" Faith got was in a coma - caused by Buffy. ouch.)

I think that Buffy can embrace fighting and resting only in Season Seven, when she understand how it's done living, basically.

I dare say that it's own journey entirely, and one she's just beginning. I think Giles had it wrong when he said in Tabula Rasa "Your mother taught you everything you need to know about life" (what parent ever can?) but that's just Giles being Giles, hiding emotional connections beneath logic and reason because he can't manage the deeper connections. He can be her Watcher but not her father when she needs him to be in S6.

That's why the Slayer Spell is supposed to free her (and Faith) of course.

It's really the hardest thing and maybe I'm projecting my issues on Buffy, but I feel that she also find it very hard.

Very much so. The hardest thing in this world IS to live in it, even without the Slayer burdens.

kikimay November 20 2012, 23:12:22 UTC

red_satin_doll November 24 2012, 02:15:56 UTC

gal-crushes FTW.

I wish the comics had done a more decent job especially because of that.

Scrub that junk from your mind and read angearia's epic WIP version of S8, "Thought You Should Know" instead; or rebcake's post-Chosen, pre-NFA, "Whose Torment Is this Anyway?" (I could name several other fics but I'll start there for now.)

http://angearia.livejournal.com/53356.html
http://rebcake.livejournal.com/45817.html

kikimay November 24 2012, 10:06:58 UTC

Thank you very much for the suggestions!

red_satin_doll November 24 2012, 14:23:07 UTC

I forgot to add brutti_ma_buoni's "Rulesverse" which is quite elaborate (in a good way) and covers the post-series establishment of the Slayers Council but focuses on Giles/Faith as the main 'ship. But it also has fun with organizational constructs, and the story where Giles overhears IIlyria acting as a "guidance counselor" to one of the new Slayers is very funny.

red_satin_doll November 26 2012, 01:53:50 UTC

A few others have occurred to me this weekend - but I need to clean up my bookmarks on my computer, put fanfic into it's own folder and then I should be able to find things more easily. I may end up doing a few rec posts - one for fic, one for meta?

kikimay November 26 2012, 12:27:00 UTC

Do as you prefer, I tend to read your posts anyway. :D

red_satin_doll November 26 2012, 14:47:48 UTC

<3

Confession - I started dipping into Chapter 3 of The Queen last night (ooh, Willow!) and was enjoying Willow very much so I need to go back to the beginning!

kikimay November 26 2012, 14:55:04 UTC

I need feedback for my English. Slaymesoftly is helping me a lot, without her I couldn't do anything.
I hope you enjoy the story. Willow is so cool, she's a goddess!

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