Buffy the Vampire Slayer 2 x 11: "Ted"

[red_satin_doll]

Originally posted at the Jossverse Big Damn Love Fest: http://big-damn-fest.dreamwidth.org/3818.html

RUNNER-UP: Best Meta (Not Fade Away) category of the Wicked Awards Round 10
banner by angelus2hot

Comments

[norwie2010]

You made me tear up....

Much has been made of Buffy’s “daddy issues”, at the cost of the complex mother/daughter relationship, and so scholars and fandom inadvertently repeat the sins of Ted, and of the Watchers Council.

This. So, so this! The WC personified by Giles tries to break up the matriarchal home of the Summers women, in fact, he tries to replace Buffy's mother with himself. And while he loves Buffy, he does not love her unconditionally - he tries to shape her in ways which benefit his agenda, the ideology he stands for; as opposed to Joyce Summers, who - while sometimes confused - loves her daughter wholly. There is some aspect of proprietary love - or 'love' as a special expression of ownership - vs a mother's love here. And, yes - fandom, critics, whathaveyou are all too dismissive of the female relationship (and not only this mother-daughter relationship!) and put overly focused importance on Buffy's relationships with (various) men.

Thanks for writing this! And all the very best to you! :-)

[red_satin_doll]

Hey sweetie, I'm so glad you came by! I was hoping you would, I've missed seeing you about lately. Still working hard in the belly of the beast

Because I have too many thoughts for one reply...

[red_satin_doll]

[Con't]And while he loves Buffy, he does not love her unconditionally - he tries to shape her in ways which benefit his agenda, the ideology he stands for; as opposed to Joyce Summers, who - while sometimes confused - loves her daughter wholly. There is some aspect of proprietary love - or 'love' as a special expression of ownership - vs a mother's love here.

As an agent of the WC he definitely tries to replace Joyce, which has probably been normal procedure in many cultures and throughout time (i.e. Kendra, or Nikki's Watcher adopting Robin.) Giles' ambivalence represents the fact that he paradigm no longer works in the modern world. At the very least needs to be rethought or adjusted. It's that closed system that allows minor tweaks but no major changes. But that's not to absolve Giles or Joyce of their failures either.

I think it's a bit more complicated than "proprietary love vs motherly love", which implies that women and mothers especially just intuitively know how to love and intuitively have "mastery". It's gender

[red_satin_doll]

Argh, in the midst of my rantings I utterly failed to acknowledge the most important thing you said:

And, yes - fandom, critics, whathaveyou are all too dismissive of the female relationship (and not only this mother-daughter relationship!) and put overly focused importance on Buffy's relationships with (various) men.

YES, exactly. (And my apologies, dear!)

[red_satin_doll]

Thank you for commenting! If I may ask a favor - in future would you mind breaking longer comments down into paragraphs? I have a lot of trouble reading long chunks of text online because of my eyes (even glasses don't help) things tend to blur together.

Interesting thoughts, I'll have to ponder and answer when my brain is rested and I'm more coherent. Thanks again for "digging up" these old posts.

[red_satin_doll]

I didn't require a guarantee, but if you do remember the effort will be greatly appreciated. ;)