(no subject)
nothings made me feel better all summer. i'm even sicker today.
but its amazing how little i miss the departments and its dramas. i'm enjoying my brake. there are a few things i miss, mostly ppl, but thats a really short list of ppl.
my flem keeps coming up with blood and thats just the tip of it. ehh.
venting.
i think i need to move away. i think thats the only way i will survive. its always upsetted me how little ppl pay attention to me. even when they are around me. even when they are in my home. even when they are good friends with sam. i think that upsets me the most.
along with the list of ppl i miss i have a long list of ppl i never want to see again. its hard to allow ppl to ignore you, its even harder when other ppl allow it too.
just for the record, you have no clue. you cant even begin to imagine how little you know me. but that’s universal, everyone feels that way so i don’t take that into consideration anymore.
But still its hard to say what of all the things you and i knwo are actually true because, well…
for starters i cant even decide if my natural state is this depressed. if i've felt this way for the majority of my live because i am just an antisocial kid or because i'm actually depressed. i cant even decide when i actually feel more comfortable.
although the first thing that comes to mind when i think comfort is NOT this. or anything happening around THIS. its me sitting at angie's eating ice-cream out of the container, ignoring her double dipping rule and trying to at the same time occupy a whole sofa to motivate a guy to sit next to a friend instead of next to me, becuase if he sat next to me i would be accused of flirting again. i went to much into the imagery here. but that was comfortable.
this is mediocre. and i was always sick then. i was still depressed. i was still grouchy. i was still mean. i was vindictive. i was loud. i was shy. i was still very very un-friendly. so i just dont understand.
this has gone past venting. Ehh…
but its amazing how little i miss the departments and its dramas. i'm enjoying my brake. there are a few things i miss, mostly ppl, but thats a really short list of ppl.
my flem keeps coming up with blood and thats just the tip of it. ehh.
venting.
i think i need to move away. i think thats the only way i will survive. its always upsetted me how little ppl pay attention to me. even when they are around me. even when they are in my home. even when they are good friends with sam. i think that upsets me the most.
along with the list of ppl i miss i have a long list of ppl i never want to see again. its hard to allow ppl to ignore you, its even harder when other ppl allow it too.
just for the record, you have no clue. you cant even begin to imagine how little you know me. but that’s universal, everyone feels that way so i don’t take that into consideration anymore.
But still its hard to say what of all the things you and i knwo are actually true because, well…
for starters i cant even decide if my natural state is this depressed. if i've felt this way for the majority of my live because i am just an antisocial kid or because i'm actually depressed. i cant even decide when i actually feel more comfortable.
although the first thing that comes to mind when i think comfort is NOT this. or anything happening around THIS. its me sitting at angie's eating ice-cream out of the container, ignoring her double dipping rule and trying to at the same time occupy a whole sofa to motivate a guy to sit next to a friend instead of next to me, becuase if he sat next to me i would be accused of flirting again. i went to much into the imagery here. but that was comfortable.
this is mediocre. and i was always sick then. i was still depressed. i was still grouchy. i was still mean. i was vindictive. i was loud. i was shy. i was still very very un-friendly. so i just dont understand.
this has gone past venting. Ehh…