(no subject)
there is a container of left overs on the kitchen table. been there for a couple of days. i hate coming home to shit like that. it was literally shit once. sugar on the floor. peanut-butter on the floor. spoiled oranges on the table. spoiled vegetables i dont buy eat or know what they are named in the fridge, spoiled. i come home to carpeting that has only ever been vacuumed by me. kitchen walls that i clean. bathtubs that only i clean. restrooms that only i clean. i somewhat feel like i was being paid to clean just because she paid half the rent and bills.
and you know what, i decided that in my life i'm only getting mad at things once. just once. i got extremely mad once. way too mad. now i have a great relief. awesome relief. beyond amazing relief.
i'm no longer mad. i learned my lesson. dont live with people that dont know you well enough to understand you. (this one works both ways).
we thought we were doing everything we could, communications never were clear. first off all i'm my own person who was always raised to believe she doesnt have an anger problem. example: i get mad, shit yes i get mad. but thats it. i forget aslong as the problem was resolved in the end. never was, i never spoke up. never did things my way. just became more and more uncomfortable in my own place. i know she did too. i knew she always did. but frankly sam always said he would take care of it. he tried. she tried. we still arent roommate material. End of story.
someone had to end it. and i'm not one to drag things on. i did it my way once. i got mad. was ignored. its over. i'm so relieved.
you know what. i should of known that if you cant carry a conversation with someone about something interesting because you dont have much in common, then you probably cant hold a conversation about how to deal with the leaving situation.
i'm looking forward to living alone with sam. we need that too. if we look for another roommate, which might already have found us. i know what to look for. its not all about how clean they are (there is a limit tough, and boy to we know it now). how well they can pay the rent. or even if we think they are friendly and nice (which we still think she is). it's about how well we can talk to them, and them to us. if not we aren’t getting anywhere.
ON A WAY HAPPIER NOTE. M.I.A. RULES GALANG GALANG GALANGA!
its my mom's birthday today. WOOHOO.
and i might like the theatre but i want to change my major. i think i'm an accountant (sp?) now.
will and grace saves my life in the mornings thanks to freddy. and i need a vcr cleaner.
and you know what, i decided that in my life i'm only getting mad at things once. just once. i got extremely mad once. way too mad. now i have a great relief. awesome relief. beyond amazing relief.
i'm no longer mad. i learned my lesson. dont live with people that dont know you well enough to understand you. (this one works both ways).
we thought we were doing everything we could, communications never were clear. first off all i'm my own person who was always raised to believe she doesnt have an anger problem. example: i get mad, shit yes i get mad. but thats it. i forget aslong as the problem was resolved in the end. never was, i never spoke up. never did things my way. just became more and more uncomfortable in my own place. i know she did too. i knew she always did. but frankly sam always said he would take care of it. he tried. she tried. we still arent roommate material. End of story.
someone had to end it. and i'm not one to drag things on. i did it my way once. i got mad. was ignored. its over. i'm so relieved.
you know what. i should of known that if you cant carry a conversation with someone about something interesting because you dont have much in common, then you probably cant hold a conversation about how to deal with the leaving situation.
i'm looking forward to living alone with sam. we need that too. if we look for another roommate, which might already have found us. i know what to look for. its not all about how clean they are (there is a limit tough, and boy to we know it now). how well they can pay the rent. or even if we think they are friendly and nice (which we still think she is). it's about how well we can talk to them, and them to us. if not we aren’t getting anywhere.
ON A WAY HAPPIER NOTE. M.I.A. RULES GALANG GALANG GALANGA!
its my mom's birthday today. WOOHOO.
and i might like the theatre but i want to change my major. i think i'm an accountant (sp?) now.
will and grace saves my life in the mornings thanks to freddy. and i need a vcr cleaner.