(no subject)
Shit just keeps hitting the fan.
I visited my aunt today, the one my family never talks to anymore. I came home and I don't often lie to my mother so when she asked me where I was I just told her. She spends the next 30 minutes berating me about WHY she never talks to her sister anymore and what a terrible person she is and how she feels about it. It's not like I haven't heard this shit over and OVER AND OVER again anyway. Mom brings up some kind of story about her everyday. I've heard all this stuff. However, the first time I visited my aunt was nothing like this. My mom shrugged it off to me. But apparently she called up her friend crying or something and built it up just for me. LECTURE AFTER FUCKING LECTURE ABOUT HOW BAD OF A PERSON HER SISTER IS IN COMPARISON.
My aunt never did anything to me, and if she did I've already forgiven it. But I also know it's not a one way street between my mother and her sister. But I have to pretend it is when I'm with either of them just to keep the peace. I just want my family to be a family again, and if I have to do that without my mother, then I will. If I have to do it by living with my sister for a while, then I will-- which will inevitably and ironically tear my primary family apart, but I'd rather do that than have to see my mother cry over something I have nothing to do with.
In the end, she's really pissed off at me. But she can't tell me that exactly because that makes her seem like the worse twin. All she can do is put her hatred out on her sister who she hasn't spoken to in two or three years to make herself seem better. And you know what? My aunt can do the same thing. What they don't realize is that I won't be swayed.
The point is that all that happened here made me really, physically nasty sick and my mother will never know because if I tell her she will not believe me. I'm calling my sister later and packing up. Screw this place. I'm done.
I visited my aunt today, the one my family never talks to anymore. I came home and I don't often lie to my mother so when she asked me where I was I just told her. She spends the next 30 minutes berating me about WHY she never talks to her sister anymore and what a terrible person she is and how she feels about it. It's not like I haven't heard this shit over and OVER AND OVER again anyway. Mom brings up some kind of story about her everyday. I've heard all this stuff. However, the first time I visited my aunt was nothing like this. My mom shrugged it off to me. But apparently she called up her friend crying or something and built it up just for me. LECTURE AFTER FUCKING LECTURE ABOUT HOW BAD OF A PERSON HER SISTER IS IN COMPARISON.
My aunt never did anything to me, and if she did I've already forgiven it. But I also know it's not a one way street between my mother and her sister. But I have to pretend it is when I'm with either of them just to keep the peace. I just want my family to be a family again, and if I have to do that without my mother, then I will. If I have to do it by living with my sister for a while, then I will-- which will inevitably and ironically tear my primary family apart, but I'd rather do that than have to see my mother cry over something I have nothing to do with.
In the end, she's really pissed off at me. But she can't tell me that exactly because that makes her seem like the worse twin. All she can do is put her hatred out on her sister who she hasn't spoken to in two or three years to make herself seem better. And you know what? My aunt can do the same thing. What they don't realize is that I won't be swayed.
The point is that all that happened here made me really, physically nasty sick and my mother will never know because if I tell her she will not believe me. I'm calling my sister later and packing up. Screw this place. I'm done.