(no subject)
Wow, I don't know where to begin. I feel like crap, but you know what, i needed it. Not the feeling lik ecrap, finally talking to Joanne. I just wish I had more time. It got cut short because I had to come back here. I just missed her as a person. And she felt the same. I mean, shit will not ever wrok out between us in a romantic situation, so fuck it. I had my frist real panic attack this weekend too. I was walking to a gas station from Rush to buy some smokes. I just collapsed, i mean I couldn't support my weight, my legs just went to numb, my lips, my hands and feet. 5 just started crying, and I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop to breath, i couldn't do anything, just lay there helpless. Hell, I broke down in front of my sister. We were just sitting at rush, and I fucking lost it. I felt like such a shit for doing that, I just wwanted to spend time with my sister because i miss her and love her, and then that. IBGJ put on a good show though. And I was talking to this girl I met there that night, Britney(sp?), and Tommy showed up and wouldn't shtu the hell up. As Chrisitan said, "he's a cock blocker and he doesn't even know it." I mean hell, the girl was cute, but I wasn't hitting on her. I was in the middle of a conversation with her though and then it was ended. Yeah. So the weeked wasn't to eventful, but it was better than this place. God I can't stop thinking about it, her, everything. That conversation with her DID start moving me in the right direction. It just hurts now, and yeah. I'm moving on, it just is taking me a while.