Letters To You
Letters To You
Can't you see, that I want to be here with open arms? It's empty tonight and I'm all alone, get me through this one. Do you notice I'm gone? Where do you run to, so far away? I want you to know that, I miss you, I miss you so...
Title: Letters To You
Pairing(s): Harry/Ginny
Word Count: 2,417
Type: One-shot, Song-fic
Genre(s): Fluff, Romance, Angst
Summary: Set during Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Harry finds he is missing Ginny far more than he expected...
Harry couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard he tried. His body was exhausted, but his mind just wouldn’t shut down. The same were thoughts chasing each other round and round in dizzying circles through his brain.
He missed her so.
He wished he didn’t have to leave, but this was his mission, his destiny. That had been decided for him 17 years ago he thought bitterly. But his mind was pulled back to her like a magnet.
She was everything to him. But Voldemort wouldn’t exactly let him off too be with the love of his love.
Fat chance, thought Harry.
He tried to think of other things, but he always came back to her, Ginny.
Giving up on sleep entirely, Harry walked down into the kitchen, quietly as he could so not to wake Ron and Hermione. The stairs creaked and the hallway was pitch-black and the darkness pressed into his eyes as if his eyes where closed. He felt his way slowly down the stairs and into the hallway, running his hands along the walls until he saw the light coming from the kitchen door. There were no curtains in this room and silver light flooded in through the window. He pulled a glass from one of the oak cupboards and took it to the tap for some water. The glass glistened in the moonlight. Kreacher had certainly improved his cleaning since Harry had given him Regulus’s locket.
Harry downed the water in two large gulps and placed the glass on the counter, staring out of the window, his mind back on Ginny. She was so beautiful. The way her red hair danced in the sun, her freckled skin and her deep chocolate eyes. Harry closed his eyes unconsciously.
Can't you see that I wanna be
there with open arms
It's empty tonight and I'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
After a few moments standing alone in the dark kitchen Harry decided to write to Ginny. Harry, Ron and Hermione had decided to keep as out of contact with everyone else as possible to make it harder for Death Eaters to track them down, but Harry needed Ginny. Despite living with two other people and a house elf Harry felt very alone; they just weren’t the same. Ginny was just…so different, in every way. They hadn’t left on the best of terms. Having Ron walk in on them in Ginny’s bedroom and then the Death Eaters at Bill and Fleur’s wedding wasn’t the most perfect goodbye. In fact, it hadn’t been goodbye at all.
Tears stung Harry’s eyes as he realised he hadn’t managed to tell her how much he would miss her, and how much he loved her before they were torn apart. He wanted her with him, in his arms. They fit together so well, her hand moulded into his; they were made for each other. He didn’t feel complete without her, holding her hand, seeing her face, smelling her sweet hair.
He opened his eyes again; the Death Eaters were still outside on the dark street outside twelve Grimmauld Place. Looking sleepily at the house they could not see.
He turned and felt his way up the stairs again. They creaked softly as he turned into the Drawing Room where he, Ron and Hermione had been sleeping in their sleeping bags. Ron’s snores filled the room and Harry wondered for a moment how Hermione was sleeping through the racket he was making. But Hermione was still asleep on the floor and he saw hers and Ron’s hands linked together. It made him feel lonely. He needed Ginny.
He suddenly remembered why he had come up, to write his letter.
He took a quill and roll of parchment from the depths of Hermione’s beaded bag and made his way down the dark staircase again.
He settled down in a squashy armchair in the front room and curled his legs up to his chest. He placed the parchment on his knees and began to write.
Dear Ginny,
I just wanted to say
Harry thought, what do I want to say? I love you, I need you, I miss you…
There were so many things he wanted to say, yet he couldn’t find words important enough.
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
He put his head in his hands and breathed in deeply, thinking. Whatever he wrote would never be good enough for her. He loved her more than life itself.
He remembered her touch, her voice, the smell of her sweet hair, the feel of her lips on his.
He sat up straight again, and he thought, I’ll write what I feel. She will understand. She knows I’m not that good with words anyway.
He brought the parchment closer to him and started writing again.
I'm writing again
These letters to you, aren't much I know
But I'm not sleeping, you're not here
The thought stops my heart
Do you notice I'm gone
Where do you run to so far away
He knew it would end up a load of waffle, but he didn’t care. He just needed to tell her how he felt before it was too late. She had always been optimistic about Harry’s chances, telling he would be fine and that he would win, but Harry knew there was always that chance that he wouldn’t ever see her again. He didn’t know whether he would come back from all of this alive, this was Voldemort after all.
Dear Ginny,
I just wanted to say goodbye.
I realise that I never had that chance at Bill and Fleur’s wedding so I’ll say everything that I should have said then, now.
I love you. I’ve said it before a hundred times, but I never mean it any less. I say it too much, but they are not enough. I have no idea how to say how I feel about you without saying that again. You are my only one. I cannot live without you. It’s late and I’m so tired but I can’t sleep for thinking about you.
I miss you, so bad it’s like having a stomach ache. I’d hope you miss me too.
Although I know I’ve left you behind and you have every right to be angry at me. I’d come home if I could, but I have to see this through to the end, even if it’s my end. But the thing is I don’t really have a home either. Hogwarts was my home, where you are now.
So again, I need to be with you, holding your hand. I’m running out of strength and you’re the only one who can help me.
I wonder if you can tell I’m thinking of you now. Sometimes I think I know when you’re thinking of me. Or maybe I am only wishing.
I wish I could see you, talk to you, hold you, and kiss you. Better not let Ron see this hey?
I can’t promise you I’ll come back. But I promise I’ll love you right until the end.
I love you.
Harry.
Harry sat back, rolled up his letter and tied it with a length of purple ribbon that he had also found in Hermione’s never ending bag. Her favourite colour.
His eyes started to burn and hot tears fell down his cheeks and into his lap. He made no effort to brush them away; he didn’t have the energy even if he had tried.
He headed to the top of the house to find Pig. Pig hooted happily at the sight of Harry but stopped almost at once when he saw Harry, green eyes wet and face tear streaked.
Harry fastened the letter to Pig’s leg and the owl gave him an affectionate nip on his finger.
He opened the window and a cold gust of wind blew through, ruffling his hair and Pig’s feathers. Pig hopped onto Harry’s arm and took off into the night.
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
Harry slid down the wall to the dust covered floor, head on this knees, arms round his legs.
He cried great racking sobs, unable to contain himself any longer. He heard footsteps on the stairs.
I must have woken Ron or Hermione, he thought.
But he didn’t really care. Normally he wouldn’t want them to see him like this, but he felt that he needed someone to hold on to. He hoped it was Hermione, she would understand. She knew what to say about things like this.
And it was Hermione. She paused in the doorway then crossed over to Harry.
She didn’t question him; she merely gave him a sad look and said softly, “Oh, Harry”.
She sat down in front of him and he looked up. She opened her arms and hugged him tightly to her.
He gripped her back, crying into her shoulder.
He felt like she knew exactly what the matter was without even having to ask, she just knew him, and he was very grateful for her. He didn’t particularly want to voice it out loud in any case.
“I’ll take you too her Harry if that’s what you want?” said Hermione, confirming what Harry had thought, she knew him through and through.
He nodded.
“Go and get the invisibility cloak and I’ll write a note to Ron explaining we had to get away for a bit and that we’ll be back.” She said, releasing him.
“Alright” said Harry, thickly. “As long as you don’t tell him it’s because I love his little sister and can’t live without her.” He gave Hermione a weak smile, and she the same to him.
“I don’t think it would go down to well do you?”
Hermione chuckled, “No, not really.”
10 minutes later Harry had gathered himself together and met Hermione in the hallway.
“Ready?” she asked.
“Ready.” He answered.
Hermione grabbed Harry by the wrist and turned on the spot into the suffocating darkness.
They appeared in The Burrow’s back yard, fat chickens pecking at the ground and the usual jumble of Wellington boots at the back door.
Harry swallowed and knocked at the door. Please be Ginny, he thought desperately.
A girl with waist long red hair and a freckled face came to the door. She was wearing a long pink nightdress and had dark circles under her eyes. It looked like she hadn’t had a decent nights sleep in quite some time.
She gasped and launched herself at Harry, knocking the wind out of him.
“I thought I’d never see you again.” She whispered into his shoulder.
“Me too.” He whispered back, stroking her fiery hair.
No more looking I found you
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
I want you to know that
I miss you, I miss you so
Hermione looked awkward and walked inside the kitchen saying, “I’ll leave you to it then.”
Harry picked Ginny up bridal style (seen as she wasn’t wearing any shoes) and carried her outside. He moon was shinning down on them, giving Ginny’s hair a slivery glow. Harry couldn’t stop smiling, she was so beautiful.
He carried on down to the river bank, and placed Ginny down on the pebbles.
She looked breathlessly back at him, her chocolate eyes sparkling. She reached forwards and put her freckled arms around his neck as he wound his own around her waist.
“I…” Harry began, but Ginny cut him off.
“…miss you.” She said with a grin on her face.
“I got your letter.” She said, seeing Harry’s puzzled look.
“Blimey, Pig can fly faster than I thought.” He said, stunned.
She laughed that soft laugh and held him closer. “Just for the record, I love you too.”
“So, you’re not angry with me then?” Harry asked curiously.
“Well…I am, but you can always make it up to me.” Ginny teased, twirling a lock of hair around one of her fingers playfully.
“Oh and how might I do that?” Harry asked, playing along.
“Kiss me.” She whispered into his ear.
“As you wish.” He said with a grin on his face.
He bent down as she stood on tip toe and their lips met. They kissed softly at first, and then Ginny took control. She pushed against him, opening her mouth slightly to deepen the kiss. Their tongues danced across each others teeth and the roofs of their mouths, memorizing every very last detail. Ginny tasted like toffee, Harry noted.
He pressed to her firmly, wanting to be as close as possible. They broke apart after what seemed like forever, gasping for breath.
Then Ginny lent towards him again, her hands slipping under the collar of his shirt. One of his hands on her back, the other in her hair.
An owl hooted over head, bringing them back to their senses. Ginny rested her head on Harry’s chest.
“We should go back.” Said Harry, his breathing was ragged and uneven.
Ginny nodded, panting slightly. He picked her up in his arms again to walk back to the burrow and at the back door set her gently down on the step.
He lent forwards and kissed her lightly on the forehead.
“I’ll be back one day.” He whispered.
“I know.” Ginny breathed.
Ginny opened the back door and stuck her head round, calling for Hermione quietly.
Hermione came out and stood next to Harry, with a knowing smile.
“Come on then.” Said Hermione, and she started to walk away.
Harry paused; he held Ginny’s hand and said again “I’ll come back.”
“I’ll be right here waiting.” She said. They kissed one last time and Ginny mumbled against his lips, “I love you.”
Harry cupped her face with his hands and whispered “I love you too.” He moved his hand down to her hand; and they fit seamlessly together.
She squeezed his hand and let go. She turned back inside with one last look at Harry and shut the door quietly.
Hermione smiled softly at Harry as he made his way over to her and she took Harry by the arm and they turned into the darkness once more.
I'm gone away......
I'm gone away........