To try to inspire myself on my NaNovel, I have acquired books from the library. (This is not procrastination. This is research. really.)
Link to my (spoilery, extremely rambling) review on 50books_POC This is the first Octavia Butler I've read, and I wasn't sure what to expect. It's also- this is kind of embarrassing, but it's been ages since I've read a book. A long time. There used to be a time when I was always in the middle of a book, but since college... I really haven't. I never stopped reading, of course- I couldn't do that any more that I could stop breathing. But I hadn't sat down and read a book in a while. Listened to them on tape, yes. But it's... a different experience. And fanfiction is like- hrm. Like eating snacks, or pre-prepared food. Instant mac-and-cheese versus made from scratch. I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all- I fucking love instant mac-and-cheese! but it feeds a different need- for me, at least. There's something very comfortable about fanfic- about knowing the characters already. It's... less risky, maybe? Less work? I'm speaking as a reader, here, not a writer. I've already got my emotional hook, and I know what to expect, maybe. I think I've been... marinating in that for awhile. I've wanted to read the same stories over and over, like I sometimes like to listen to the same song or CD on repeat, or eat the same meal for weeks at a time. But variety is... good. Necessary. I think I needed it. I think it's a good sign, depression wise, that I'm reaching out for it.
I feel like my writing ability has atrophied, which is odd, considering I write (e-mail) for a living. At one time, I know I was able to write clear, grammatically correct sentences, but now it's all rambly and has too many commas and dashes and verbal tics. (Do you know how many times I deleted "you know" today? ack.)
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