(no subject)
i don't know how to make this better.
jen and i have been fighting a lot over the past few weeks.
we've been stressed out due to school issues and such. we're together all the fucking time which certainly makes things rough.
we also haven't had sex since may. and this is primarily what we fight about.
i only want sex when my body says it needs babies and i make that stretch to 4 days out of the entire fucking month. otherwise i have absolutely no sexual desire or inclination at all. it's been like that for my entire life. i started having sex at 15 and while the only people 2 out of the 5 that i've slept with i've loved it's been like this forever. i don't even masturbate except for those 4 days unless it's to lull myself to sleep.
jen, however, is a very sexual person. she has the desire for sex every day of the month and would love sex 5 times a day if possible. she'd settle for twice a week.
jen's point of view is that she doesn't want to feel like she's being used for those few days that i do want it. and other times when she touches me or even tries to engage in any type of sexual activity she says i either tear up or look at her like she's the devil. that's true. most of the time if i get going then i'm going to enjoy myself but i don't have the desire to be the one to get it started.
but sometimes i feel like just plain shit because she wants it and i don't and she'd be happier with someone else who would want it. hence the tears.
she says she can't be understanding about it 100% of the time and most of the time she just doesn't say anything about it. she just shuts up and doesn't tell me what's going on in her head.
to be fair i generally don't tell her anything either because i end up crying.
which is what i've been doing constantly for a week.
now she wants to take sex out of the equation. there will be no touching or any sexual activity going on in my household.
she's going to end up resenting me because i am the one with the problem, the issue.
i've gone to one dr about it and after blood testing said nothing was wrong and to try vitamins.
i've tried some vitamins and just don't want to take something to make me feel like i think i should feel.
i want to be a normal 24 yr old in an otherwise healthy relationship.
i want to want sex.
jen and i have been fighting a lot over the past few weeks.
we've been stressed out due to school issues and such. we're together all the fucking time which certainly makes things rough.
we also haven't had sex since may. and this is primarily what we fight about.
i only want sex when my body says it needs babies and i make that stretch to 4 days out of the entire fucking month. otherwise i have absolutely no sexual desire or inclination at all. it's been like that for my entire life. i started having sex at 15 and while the only people 2 out of the 5 that i've slept with i've loved it's been like this forever. i don't even masturbate except for those 4 days unless it's to lull myself to sleep.
jen, however, is a very sexual person. she has the desire for sex every day of the month and would love sex 5 times a day if possible. she'd settle for twice a week.
jen's point of view is that she doesn't want to feel like she's being used for those few days that i do want it. and other times when she touches me or even tries to engage in any type of sexual activity she says i either tear up or look at her like she's the devil. that's true. most of the time if i get going then i'm going to enjoy myself but i don't have the desire to be the one to get it started.
but sometimes i feel like just plain shit because she wants it and i don't and she'd be happier with someone else who would want it. hence the tears.
she says she can't be understanding about it 100% of the time and most of the time she just doesn't say anything about it. she just shuts up and doesn't tell me what's going on in her head.
to be fair i generally don't tell her anything either because i end up crying.
which is what i've been doing constantly for a week.
now she wants to take sex out of the equation. there will be no touching or any sexual activity going on in my household.
she's going to end up resenting me because i am the one with the problem, the issue.
i've gone to one dr about it and after blood testing said nothing was wrong and to try vitamins.
i've tried some vitamins and just don't want to take something to make me feel like i think i should feel.
i want to be a normal 24 yr old in an otherwise healthy relationship.
i want to want sex.