Home is a House
So, back home for Thanksgiving break. I have to say it's really surreal to be home after three months. I had really become accustomed to my dorm being "home." But walking around the house now I'm just being reminded of living there, yet the thing is I know I won't be staying very long. All I know of this house is living in it, so to not be living in it is just strange.
There are a whole bunch of things about the house that are different. My sister has definitely become a fixture in the house. Things are more organized, her things are everywhere. It so strange. This house has never before had her in it for more than a month at a time, so to see her so settled in is just not right in my mind. She had already been moved out of the old house by the time we moved, so in this house I was, effectively, an only child - or something like that. But where she belongs, I almost feel I don't.
I think this might be because I did my crucial growing up without her there, so how we exist now - older, more mature women, instead of the little girls running around playing "My Little Pony" - just don't belong together in the same house. But this was my house. Up until three months ago.
I feel like I'm falling back into routine, but then there are things that remind me. Oh wait, my saddle and horse brushes are down in the basement, not at the barn like they would have been. Actually, I think that is the biggest clue that I'm not staying - even the fact that my room is essentially empty of my belongings.
I've been realizing lately, while I've been going through some emotional exhaustion, how much being around horses helped my stress levels while going through high school. I'd go out to the barn in the next few days, to get a little of that healing energy, but I think I'm afraid that it will just make it hard for me going back to school.
Mmm. I suppose I knew I'd have to go through down times at some point. I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon.
There are a whole bunch of things about the house that are different. My sister has definitely become a fixture in the house. Things are more organized, her things are everywhere. It so strange. This house has never before had her in it for more than a month at a time, so to see her so settled in is just not right in my mind. She had already been moved out of the old house by the time we moved, so in this house I was, effectively, an only child - or something like that. But where she belongs, I almost feel I don't.
I think this might be because I did my crucial growing up without her there, so how we exist now - older, more mature women, instead of the little girls running around playing "My Little Pony" - just don't belong together in the same house. But this was my house. Up until three months ago.
I feel like I'm falling back into routine, but then there are things that remind me. Oh wait, my saddle and horse brushes are down in the basement, not at the barn like they would have been. Actually, I think that is the biggest clue that I'm not staying - even the fact that my room is essentially empty of my belongings.
I've been realizing lately, while I've been going through some emotional exhaustion, how much being around horses helped my stress levels while going through high school. I'd go out to the barn in the next few days, to get a little of that healing energy, but I think I'm afraid that it will just make it hard for me going back to school.
Mmm. I suppose I knew I'd have to go through down times at some point. I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon.