(no subject)
well the good news is i havent puked all day and i feel like i have energy again! the bad news is im bleeding like a pig and have cramps from hell. you win some you lose some eh? i was super bummed out this morning but actually feel fine now. weird. as maggie said, at least i know i can get pregnant. but really, i dont even need 'im so sorry's', theres totally nothing i can do about it so im moving on. i had a gut feeling (my gut is always creepingly right. my new theory is that cause my guts so smart is why im sick and barfy all the time, like for the past three years. it holds so many secrets and predictions about the universe it constantly is stressed out and has no room for food) that i was going to miscarry, so i sort of prepared myself. next time around there will be less telling people right away though. onward!
my personal theory is that i had really bad hair around the time the little zygoter was conceived, and beric had this gross zit, and no baby wants that kind of legacy and so it punked out and is hoping for a prettier genetic makeup. you cant argue with logic like that and its actually a pretty noble move on the kids part. i drank 17 cups of coffee, smoked half a pack of ciggarettes and had a searingly hot bath. i missed all those things. tonight will invlove cheap wine and oreo ice cream. mmmm....
in other news, work kicked my ass emotionally last week. i realized though that itll take a lot of adjustment. like its perfectly reasonable to feel totally fucking crazy when seeing people die, touching people who have been shot and stabbed and other such things on a daily basis. its really intense and itll take getting used to. then i'll be better. and less sad all the time.
my sister is the absoulute cutest and got me an amazing b-day gift and calls my parents the 'g-units' compulsivly, which apparently is a cool way to say grandparents. Chris and i are planning the most amazing trip for in a month and maybe i'll get to see beric again soon. things are ok.
my personal theory is that i had really bad hair around the time the little zygoter was conceived, and beric had this gross zit, and no baby wants that kind of legacy and so it punked out and is hoping for a prettier genetic makeup. you cant argue with logic like that and its actually a pretty noble move on the kids part. i drank 17 cups of coffee, smoked half a pack of ciggarettes and had a searingly hot bath. i missed all those things. tonight will invlove cheap wine and oreo ice cream. mmmm....
in other news, work kicked my ass emotionally last week. i realized though that itll take a lot of adjustment. like its perfectly reasonable to feel totally fucking crazy when seeing people die, touching people who have been shot and stabbed and other such things on a daily basis. its really intense and itll take getting used to. then i'll be better. and less sad all the time.
my sister is the absoulute cutest and got me an amazing b-day gift and calls my parents the 'g-units' compulsivly, which apparently is a cool way to say grandparents. Chris and i are planning the most amazing trip for in a month and maybe i'll get to see beric again soon. things are ok.