Not Too Poor
Just random muses on the health of my financial condition, today, 2022/08/09. As a point, I am just musing in this entry, and I think it's all not-so-interesting as regards what I'm writing here, now.
Decided, in a moment of something called curiosity, to go ahead and see where I fall in regards to wealth. I've seen charts, which is not what I found while meandering for knowledge, wherein I was in the lowest income bracket available for charting one's personal wealth. Today, I found some sites that suggested that the only way to be poorer than I am is to be in debt, and *approaching* 1/3rd of the population in the States is ravaged by a debt so terrible that they realistically, all things considered, own less than I do.
I come out of this adventure feeling rather pleased with myself. As poor as I am, as crazy as I am, I still have a rather admirable credit score (thank you, Experian, for your insights) and have never let myself fall into any sort of debt at all. Even with running off of a functioning credit card and feeling reoccurring impulses to just buy, and buy, and buy on credit... I've kept myself in balance and never heeded any desire or impulse as would put me into spending outside of what I can financially handle.
I've had impulses, I've amused what seems to have been a working scam, as by financial contributions, I've had addictions to shopping, I've breached my spending limit to explore for needing excessive aid even though I was at what I could afford to pay off already. It was all in my head where it dwelt from. Other things included, it stands regardless that I never actually put myself into debit. I've gone borderline on spending the most I can handle in a month often enough, but also is that plenty of times I left a little comfort room. Still, in the end, I never went too far. I never pushed further than I could walk, so to spek.
I'm just, well, happy about this.
I have an illness known for extreme measures, impulsivity, overspending and driving oneself into debt regularly. I mean, the illness is of the mind, the brain, and the nature of one's feelings, desires and behaviors. I have never breached into spending, month by month, more than I can handle paying off when all is said and done. I have no debt, whatsoever, and it feels really, really good. Granted, I also, truth be told, have no ends to meet. Basic ways to care for myself matter, but beyond them there really is no responsibility.
Rent, utilities, services with monthly or yearly obligations for subscriptions are real. Having survived being homeless and fundless before, I do stop to take a look at the things I am currently working to afford, and I note that all of it is incredibly comfortable, meaningful, satisfying and fun. It provides a cushion for letting it be easier to be happy, and the comforts help me make progress from within.
Still, as it is, for providing myself with a room and housing the furnishings I've had as mine for, in some cases, a couple of decades, then all the utilities as with temperature, water, electricity, internet, psychiatric medication... they're good services and are considered essentials in having what you need. I fund the money to contribute to the house for those, and it doesn't hurt at all for me, but after having been homeless, none of those things seem truly necessary. It's food and a place to sleep, anywhere I can lawfully get away with laying down to rest. Those are the essentials, and I certainly have them covered today; it's the most grand of conveniences and comforts.
That covers over half my income, considerably, though there are things as with insurance and financial aid contributing to the likes of food, essentials and medication. After all of that, a fair hundred plus beneath my personal earnings is left in my hand as to cater to any needs I have. Clothing, accessories, media, reoccurring payments on working accounts with various groups and services (like Spotify), reading material (in case 'media' doesn't easily recognize that), other products and projects included. Really, even though clothing is a must and all that, I consider everything I just listed to be comforts, pleasures and strictly for leisure.
All that is needed for my life and welfare is completely taken care of. I have nothing to worry about, and I have no debt looming over me, which is apparently better off than what a third of the population could say. I hurt for them, I know some measure of how damaging being in debt can be, and all the ways it can ravage and destroy a person's life... but on the bright side, for me, I'm just not there. I'm safe, I'm fine, I'm fucking dandy. It's swell.