its freezing out
It has kind of been a difficult few days for me.
I've been constantly stressed with the fact that my mother is living on my couch. I mean, I have alot of guilt because I have a room mate now and even though shes been so awesome about it, its definately not fair to her(or me really). And the more I think about it, the angrier I get because the only reason I am in this situation is beacuase my mom took off with her loser boyfriend and i had to pick up the pieces quick and find someone to live wtih me and handle all the rent and bills. She *thinks* shes gonna be out at the begining of december, but shes just being a jerk about it. I just wish me and jamie had moved somewhere else instead of staying here and maybe she would've been less likely to stay as long as she has. It just....sucks....
Well, I'm on a roll with parent negativity, so I may as well continue. I have decided myspace is definately evil. why? Because after 22 years, my biological father from Arkansas messaages me VIA MYSPACE to tell me how good i turned out and how i have brothers and a sister, and do i want to talk. I don't know what the fuck to say to this. I've only told my friends and ken about this, not my mom or my family. What am I supposed to say "oh hello, thanks for having a new family as a replacement??...". In his note he even said "I hope you had a good childhood". *sigh*. I'm never one to judge people, so I shouldnt start now, but this really sucks, and I don't even know how to begin to reply to him.
My job at millipore should be ending in about a month. I've been trying to save money and stuff in case i'm unemployed, but i'm also trying my best to avoid that. I went ona job interview thursday and left there feeling defeated. This guy was freaking on it. Imagine learning 4 years of shit and then getting quizzed on it by two people staring you down. after i caught myself on the 100th 'ummmm..' I knew I was in trouble. Granted, I answered all his questions correctly to my knowlage, my nervousness didn't help. I'll learn more about it today or tomorrow. I doubt i got it. But even if i did....would i wanna work for someone that makes me that nervous? Maybe i'd stay on my toes if i was always put on the spot...maybe i'd be ultra-stressed.
I just wish I could go to grad school now. If someone wins the lottery and wants to be generous, send them to me haha. Last night, I was talking to my grandma and told her how my job at millipore would be up and she goes 'oh so i guess youre not going to grad school'....thanks grandma for the vote of confidence. Instead of being a wiener, I just said back to her 'no, i'm gonna get a job somewhere else that will pay for grad school, and if that dosen't work, i'll do whatever it takes to get myself there'.
Did i mention i'm so sick of family crap?!
Blahhhhhhh.
Halloween was good though. I spent a nice warm night in Salem with ken and a couple of people.
I booked Sunday River for a week for me and 7 other people. I'm proud of myself for being the organizer, now I just gotta get the money from people which will prob be the hardest part.
I wish xmas wasnt coming so soon with all this job insecurity i have. I just really hope I can get one soon. I've been networking around Millipore too because I would love to just stay with the company permamently. But who knows.
Thats about it....time for work and turning this negative mood around.
<3-Kammie