Some people have way too much time on their hands.

[red_big_balloon]

I received a very strange phone call at work last night.

Here's how the conversation went, as best as I can recall.

Me: Hi, Starbucks North Hills, Cristina speaking. How may I help you?

Stranger: Uh..hi. Yeah, like how many calories are in a JAVA CHIP?

M: I don't know off the top of my head, but I could look it up in our nutritional information pamphlet.

S: Yeah, can you like do that for me?

M: Sure. What size Java Chip?

S: Tall!

M: It's 270 calories.

S: FUCK! THAT MUCH?! FUCK!!....You think that's the reason I'm growing a penis?

M: I don't think so, no.

S: Let me ask you something. Have you ever had, "lesbian thoughts"?

M: No, not really, no.

S: OH HO HO! You said "not really!" That means that you have!

M: Everyone has a THOUGHT about it.

S: So, you wanna scissor sometime?

M: No thanks, I don't know what diseases you might have.

S: I JUST WANT TO SCISSOR. What was your name again?

M: Cristina.

S: Okay, Cristina, I'm gonna come in and get some Starbucks. In like 2 seconds, I'm outside, walking towards the door. Oh, I see you.

M: I don't see anybody.

S: Yeah, that's probably because I'm not there. YET!

M: Alright, do you have any other questions? I have a lot of work to do.

S: WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT..wait...wait..wait.

M: Alright, you have a nice evening now.

S: WAIT! NO, NO, WAIT.. wait, CRISTINA, CRISTINA, wait.

M: Goodnight.

[click]