i think too much
I think I might be too sensitive. I also think I get my hopes up too often. I have an interesting "date" planned for wednesday. I am pretty nervous. I am trying not to be too optimistic about it, though. I am so freaking tired of thinking that things are going to turn out one way and then getting totally disappointed. It isn't even that likely that Shane is interested in me anyway. If I hadn't been so persistent, he wouldn't have agreed. If nothing else, it'll be really cool to see him on wednesday. Why am I always so attracted to older guys? They usually mean trouble. Nothing in the past has proven otherwise. And this could be really weird. I mean, he used to be my band director. I am being so adventurous. I really don't understand why I am not more reluctant to do this. I don't think I have any sense of logic at all. I wish I wasn't so outgoing. then I wouldn't find myself in these totally weird situations.