(no subject)
I've kinda withdrawn from a lot of things in the last 6 months as my depression and anxiety has hit me really hard. Just the usual feelings of self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, self harm, minor panic attacks and loneliness. I've been pretty close to suicide a few times... Fucked up uni, feel like a worthless piece of shit because of it. I find it cathartic to post about it on tumblr, and I guess it's stopped me from actually killing myself so far.
So anyway, I'm still alive for now. But as I told an anon at my tumblr 'The being alive thing is complex. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. Death doesn’t scare me, but I guess some things about being alive do. Sometimes I just want so badly to die, and sometimes I don’t care if I’m alive or if I die. It’s not often that I love being alive.'
So anyway, I'm still alive for now. But as I told an anon at my tumblr 'The being alive thing is complex. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager. Death doesn’t scare me, but I guess some things about being alive do. Sometimes I just want so badly to die, and sometimes I don’t care if I’m alive or if I die. It’s not often that I love being alive.'