well. this is trying really hard to be intellectual. be nice to it.
One of the things I have been meaning to do is create more public posts about fannish things - specifically, write some intelligent posts once in a while, something along the lines of meta. So, in Paula's first public post since forever, let's talk about Writing Real Adult Relationships and what that means to you.
I am fascinated by the portrayal of relationships in fictional media (wow, hold onto your hats people, she's dropping revelations left right and centre). In all seriousness though, how people interact romantically, what a relationship means for different characters and between different characters is central to my participation in fandom. I tend to be more overtly involved in shows where the relationship between the characters captures my interest. This fascination extends to real life as well - I am endlessly curious about human interaction. In many ways, it baffles me. (Yes, I am socially awkward. I know, you couldn't tell. It's my wit and charisma and charm. And sarcasm.) But let's talk about relationships.
This post was really spurred by two things: premiere week (yay!) and a discussion at a pub (this is where all my deep posts start). The discussion at the pub was about a minister for the New South Wales state government who got into a bit of hot water recently when the media revealed he had been visiting a gay sex club using his ministry car (which was subsequently determined to be fair use of the car, incidentally, but he was married and apparently married men can't be into gay sex clubs). We were discussing whether or not it's any of the public's business - I raised the point that for all we know, the wife knew and it was an established part of their relationship. Certainly, if he was bisexual but in love with his wife, it might be a way of experiencing the gay part of his bisexuality while remaning monogomous. In any case, I was firmly on the side of This Behaviour Can Fit A Real Adult Relationship. There were counter-arguments of course. Many people did not feel that you could be married and still go to a sex club. But as far as I'm concerned, the "rules" of a marriage are between the two people who enter into it. To me it's a choice to be together and to share your lives, but that does not necessarily mean monogamy (I know some couples who are polygamous and who are in a committed relationship but still date outside that relationship). That doesn't necessarily mean you will have the 2.5 kids. (I know another couple who married young but are not planning on having any children). It doesn't mean you will live together. (I know of many couples who live in different countries due to work.) Whatever works for you, I'm OK with that.
The second inspiration? Well, I re-watched Parts In The Sum Of The Whole (the 100th episode of Bones) today and the season three premiere of Castle, and it got me thinking about unresolved sexual tension, the resolution thereof, and whether the aversion of TV writers to "going there" is justifiable. Certainly it's more difficult to maintain an arc for characters that enter into a romantic relationship, in a narrative sense. That is to say: I think it is easier to write the story of two people beginning a relationship than to continue that story after they are in an established relationship. Relationships can get boring. We all know that. That's why it's called a Honeymoon Period. It's exciting. It's new. What could be better? But honestly, we also all know that after the new-ness fades, we see real love. Love is not that initial excitement, the connection, the ability to stay up all night talking with a new romantic interest - that is a flash in the pan compared to the kind of trust and companionship that comes with time and real committment. That isn't to say that love is boring, but I think that real love is enduring and it is most obvious then things aren't easy, things aren't new, there isn't that gnawing doubt in the bottom of you gut that keeps saying "what if they don't like me?" I think there's still excitement, still anticipation, still sex, still "I saw her across the room and my heart stopped for a second" - but your friends are sick of hearing all about this other, wonderful person and you have established patterns for interacting with them (presumably).
So I see why writers avoid The Relationship Storyline. But at the same time, no one dances around someone they truly like for that long in real life. And if they do, they probably shouldn't. Because if someone is really truly interested in you, they won't be able to hide it. Especially if they're your Best Friend. There's definitely a window - no action in that time frame usually means you become friends and give up on any further development. Or you move on entirely. The pining we see on television would be truly agonising in real life: can you imagine having to go to work every day and see the person you love, work very closely with them fighting crime/saving lives/performing surgery/kicking ass (delete those that do not apply), and know that they don't reciprocate your feelings? It'd be hell. And eventually you'd go crazy, confront them or remove them from your life. That's normal and healthy. That's how it goes. UST is getting ridiculous. I cannot handle another show dragging out nine or ten seasons of two characters who are obviously attracted to each other dancing around the issue. There characters are mostly adults and mostly capable and mostly not emotionally stunted - don't you think it's a little OoC that they don't behave completely normally and just, well, suggest to the other that they have at it?
And don't you think that the TV show that does, finally, manage to write the main characters together in a way that is not obviously fan service, in a way that fits and becomes part of the show and it flows and it's natural and it's fantastic, is going to go down in TV history? I sure do. I think we're ready for some resolved sexual tension. I think we're ready for some "can you pick up toilet paper on your way home?" I think we're ready for morning breath and tracksuit and takeaway night. See, TV, I am ready for a serious relationship, but can you commit? I'm not sure. I'm going into this TV season with trepidation for my favourite couples and reserved trust in the writers of my shows. I hope you're ready TV, I really do. I think it's time.
So, do you think the Moonlighting Curse is real? Did you think it was a load of crap until you saw the House premiere? Are you just dying for Booth and Brennan to get together? Did you dig it on The X-files that they sort of managed to get Mulder and Scully together without any big reveal? Or did you feel disenfranchised? Do you think UST on TV is getting more ridiculous than the ongoing story line in Private Practice? Share any and all thoughts.
I am fascinated by the portrayal of relationships in fictional media (wow, hold onto your hats people, she's dropping revelations left right and centre). In all seriousness though, how people interact romantically, what a relationship means for different characters and between different characters is central to my participation in fandom. I tend to be more overtly involved in shows where the relationship between the characters captures my interest. This fascination extends to real life as well - I am endlessly curious about human interaction. In many ways, it baffles me. (Yes, I am socially awkward. I know, you couldn't tell. It's my wit and charisma and charm. And sarcasm.) But let's talk about relationships.
This post was really spurred by two things: premiere week (yay!) and a discussion at a pub (this is where all my deep posts start). The discussion at the pub was about a minister for the New South Wales state government who got into a bit of hot water recently when the media revealed he had been visiting a gay sex club using his ministry car (which was subsequently determined to be fair use of the car, incidentally, but he was married and apparently married men can't be into gay sex clubs). We were discussing whether or not it's any of the public's business - I raised the point that for all we know, the wife knew and it was an established part of their relationship. Certainly, if he was bisexual but in love with his wife, it might be a way of experiencing the gay part of his bisexuality while remaning monogomous. In any case, I was firmly on the side of This Behaviour Can Fit A Real Adult Relationship. There were counter-arguments of course. Many people did not feel that you could be married and still go to a sex club. But as far as I'm concerned, the "rules" of a marriage are between the two people who enter into it. To me it's a choice to be together and to share your lives, but that does not necessarily mean monogamy (I know some couples who are polygamous and who are in a committed relationship but still date outside that relationship). That doesn't necessarily mean you will have the 2.5 kids. (I know another couple who married young but are not planning on having any children). It doesn't mean you will live together. (I know of many couples who live in different countries due to work.) Whatever works for you, I'm OK with that.
The second inspiration? Well, I re-watched Parts In The Sum Of The Whole (the 100th episode of Bones) today and the season three premiere of Castle, and it got me thinking about unresolved sexual tension, the resolution thereof, and whether the aversion of TV writers to "going there" is justifiable. Certainly it's more difficult to maintain an arc for characters that enter into a romantic relationship, in a narrative sense. That is to say: I think it is easier to write the story of two people beginning a relationship than to continue that story after they are in an established relationship. Relationships can get boring. We all know that. That's why it's called a Honeymoon Period. It's exciting. It's new. What could be better? But honestly, we also all know that after the new-ness fades, we see real love. Love is not that initial excitement, the connection, the ability to stay up all night talking with a new romantic interest - that is a flash in the pan compared to the kind of trust and companionship that comes with time and real committment. That isn't to say that love is boring, but I think that real love is enduring and it is most obvious then things aren't easy, things aren't new, there isn't that gnawing doubt in the bottom of you gut that keeps saying "what if they don't like me?" I think there's still excitement, still anticipation, still sex, still "I saw her across the room and my heart stopped for a second" - but your friends are sick of hearing all about this other, wonderful person and you have established patterns for interacting with them (presumably).
So I see why writers avoid The Relationship Storyline. But at the same time, no one dances around someone they truly like for that long in real life. And if they do, they probably shouldn't. Because if someone is really truly interested in you, they won't be able to hide it. Especially if they're your Best Friend. There's definitely a window - no action in that time frame usually means you become friends and give up on any further development. Or you move on entirely. The pining we see on television would be truly agonising in real life: can you imagine having to go to work every day and see the person you love, work very closely with them fighting crime/saving lives/performing surgery/kicking ass (delete those that do not apply), and know that they don't reciprocate your feelings? It'd be hell. And eventually you'd go crazy, confront them or remove them from your life. That's normal and healthy. That's how it goes. UST is getting ridiculous. I cannot handle another show dragging out nine or ten seasons of two characters who are obviously attracted to each other dancing around the issue. There characters are mostly adults and mostly capable and mostly not emotionally stunted - don't you think it's a little OoC that they don't behave completely normally and just, well, suggest to the other that they have at it?
And don't you think that the TV show that does, finally, manage to write the main characters together in a way that is not obviously fan service, in a way that fits and becomes part of the show and it flows and it's natural and it's fantastic, is going to go down in TV history? I sure do. I think we're ready for some resolved sexual tension. I think we're ready for some "can you pick up toilet paper on your way home?" I think we're ready for morning breath and tracksuit and takeaway night. See, TV, I am ready for a serious relationship, but can you commit? I'm not sure. I'm going into this TV season with trepidation for my favourite couples and reserved trust in the writers of my shows. I hope you're ready TV, I really do. I think it's time.
So, do you think the Moonlighting Curse is real? Did you think it was a load of crap until you saw the House premiere? Are you just dying for Booth and Brennan to get together? Did you dig it on The X-files that they sort of managed to get Mulder and Scully together without any big reveal? Or did you feel disenfranchised? Do you think UST on TV is getting more ridiculous than the ongoing story line in Private Practice? Share any and all thoughts.