you know i'm no stranger in your dreams.
Where do I go from here? Everything is hard again and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to call energy forth; enough energy to manage the transitions that never seem to end. It's so draining to concentrate on two different worlds. I'm tired. I don't want to have good dreams and then wake up to find that they never really happened. I'm sick of looking, but how can I trust what I've found? I feel like the only things I can truly be confident in are my own insecurities and how pathetic is that? I am really feeling pathetic.
As usual, I wish that I could see into the future to know what things to hold onto and which are better to let go. Someone brought the thought to my mind the other day that it's possible to meet "the one" and not know it yet, or not accept it right away. How unfair. Life is cruel that way, putting decisions in front of you that could dictate the rest of your time alive. And you go one way or the other, right or wrong. Not just with relationships, with everything. And what if you're wrong? Are you doomed to settle for less? That's just depressing. Or does life lead you back in the right direction?
WHAT THE FUCK.
As usual, I wish that I could see into the future to know what things to hold onto and which are better to let go. Someone brought the thought to my mind the other day that it's possible to meet "the one" and not know it yet, or not accept it right away. How unfair. Life is cruel that way, putting decisions in front of you that could dictate the rest of your time alive. And you go one way or the other, right or wrong. Not just with relationships, with everything. And what if you're wrong? Are you doomed to settle for less? That's just depressing. Or does life lead you back in the right direction?
WHAT THE FUCK.