(no subject)
I felt quite shitty today, and suddenly, as well. For one thing, I'm getting crap grades in like, everything. 75 on Soc test, 70 on Chem test, 75 on Chem Lab Learning Device. It's a little disconcerting that I'm not good at any particular subject, and annoying as hell that I'm probably gonna get talked to about this from the parents. I don't like talking to them about grades, as they're definitely the least encouraging people to talk to about this. So what's their logic? Give me shit about bad grades, so I stop getting them? So my reward for getting good grades is less contact with my parents? Way to think that up, you fucking geniuses. Hell, Frank over here's givin me some pretty logical reassurance, so who needs parents, anyways?
But it's just in general, just this general feeling of failure and unaccomplishment. I've been fighting back feelings of anxiety and depression, simply because I shouldn't be feeling them, but they exist, and if I don't feel them now, I'll feel them later. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm feeling empty and purposeless, I don't matter, I shouldn't exist.
For a complete 180, Sophia listens to Kid Rock. She's got the Kid on one of her CDs, I swear it. What a narc, eh? ^_^
Also, I learned how to play Vegetable and Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead, so download them and marvel at my mad skillz, or if you're Poston, download them, and listen to how pathetic it is that I'm excited at learning how to play such easy songs. O_o
For another 180, I have really low self-esteem right now. I hate me. I'm such a loser, I should just quit. But maybe I'll be happy tomorrow.
Car, crash
End of your days,
by the side of the road...
Great song...
But it's just in general, just this general feeling of failure and unaccomplishment. I've been fighting back feelings of anxiety and depression, simply because I shouldn't be feeling them, but they exist, and if I don't feel them now, I'll feel them later. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm feeling empty and purposeless, I don't matter, I shouldn't exist.
For a complete 180, Sophia listens to Kid Rock. She's got the Kid on one of her CDs, I swear it. What a narc, eh? ^_^
Also, I learned how to play Vegetable and Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead, so download them and marvel at my mad skillz, or if you're Poston, download them, and listen to how pathetic it is that I'm excited at learning how to play such easy songs. O_o
For another 180, I have really low self-esteem right now. I hate me. I'm such a loser, I should just quit. But maybe I'll be happy tomorrow.
Car, crash
End of your days,
by the side of the road...
Great song...