hold on, sit tight; we'll go for the ride of our lives.
For the past 1 month I've been coming back to this page time and time again, each time typing something and deleting it all. Words can't seem to surface itself, and my thoughts refuse to settle down for me to write a page that is coherent enough. This goes from past...:
Blocks just ended and it was a good weekend's worth of rest, and a good june holidays, I think I'm much more ready to face this hectic term ahead. Need to remember balance and discipline and to trust God.
Over the past 4 days, I managed to had opportunities to mingle with kids or just to watch kids play, and it really makes me wonder how exactly and what exactly do little children think. I do not remember how my train of thought went when I was younger anymore, but I wonder now how did I understand and comprehend whatever was going around me. I think its thrilling and yet scary to know that as you grow, your mentality and train of thought differs so much, its pretty amazing to wonder what will I think about 'this' sentence that is different from what I am thinking right now.
It's 0053h of 31st July now. Last day of the month, the past month had been mhmm filled I guess. I remembered Term 3 Week 1, Blocks. Results are all back, I did mhmm about what I expected as I took the papers so not much disappointment nor joy? But thank God truly for all that He has provided. I'm sort of satisfied with what I have, and will work harder for promos.
Week 2 was a flurry of events, Faccomm officially started then and we were all preparing for EC-meet Fac with all the videos and all. Work came rushing in and commitments and responsibilities started to pile. MUST KEEP BALANCE. But week 2 felt damn good because of the busy-ness and the constant feel of adrenaline in my body. And it was that was the first week where I started picking up on training and subsequently became the last week too..
Week 3 was slower, and week 4 was really draining. So many things came crashing down then, ankle dad relations. I felt like I was constantly on the brink of trashing things but I'm glad its the end of Week 5 now and it had been a pretty good week :) Every even week so far had been somewhat breath-taking, with a negative connotation, each even week had relations being endangered. Next week's Week 6, I hope this wouldnt happen again?
Stress fractured my ankle, officially I'm out for 1 month since 18th July. I think the worse part of it all comes every training, where there isn't anything I can do but to sit and watch and feel really really incline to join in, to run, to do that killer pt/run they are doing, but the only thing that I could do was to shout 'jiayou' and watch as my teammates gave all they had. I promise I'll make up every single run they did when I recover. Right now, its 18 days left. Scan's on Wednesday, if I go I hope all things go fine and that I'll be back on court stronger faster and higher. Ankle will not become an excuse anymore.
2.29am on 3/8 morning, my bone scan's jab is in 7.5 hours time, I would be lying to say I'm not afraid. Truthfully the impact of the results have kinda faded, I'm quite sure I'll be ready and cleared to go back after these 15 days, just that I need to ease back into training and start going lighter before full impact again. But right now, I'm halfway through, 2 days to 1 month since I've injured my ankle. 6 weeks this time is no joke seriously :/
Been crashing nearly every night after I get home from school, I have no idea why. But nights that I managed to stay up past 1 have been good cause my effeciency and motivation and focus kicks in and I end up being able to work rather fast till like late 2 (like right now). Need to figure out a way to sleep from 11-1 yet still be able to wake up each night.
Recently in KI we've learnt about Foucault's discourse and Sociology's self-concept. Its 2 interesting theories nonetheless, and yes it kinda interweaves with facade and the manner people behave. Its interesting how people behave differently with different groups of people, in different contexts and situations and not to mention, based on the ideas and notions that society have imposed on them. I wonder how would everyone be like if there weren't expectations, maybe liberalism would be more apparent. But then again, with no expectations, how would we function?
I had pub training in church the other day. It felt good forsaking everything else that had been bothering me and just focus on playing around with something new, something I haven't tried, seeing what results I can obtain.. And more importantly, it felt good fellowshipping with a bunch of people from church, people somewhat familiar yet not so. And coming back to God's warm embrace.
The past few nights didn't have a moon, but the skies were somewhat pretty with multiple stars. Tonight the stars faded into the background, but I saw the faint outline of a crescent moon. I hoped it helped you feel better tonight :)
wonderwall.