What is Brown Pants?!
Recent visits downtown have lead the AIACrew to run into a rather... peculiar being. We have dubbed this being "brown pants," as whenever we see him, he is wearing brown pants. As the weird encounters continued, we found him rather stalker-esque.
I became determined to get a picture of him (so as to further ridicule him and to put a face to the stalker we constantly tell the most odd stories about). Unfortunately, I have not yet attained a face-shot. But, I have tried to recreate brown pants' unusual walk from two photos I do have of him. It didn't turn out quiet right, but it shows somewhat of his walk. See for yourself.
Suddenly, something hit me. I've seen this creature before... but where? A good 1 minute of searching and I had it. The truth behind what brown pants really is and why he's so strange, all answered in a single discovery? Yes, it's true!
I have discovered that brown pants is really a...
Sasquatch!
Commonly known as "Bigfoot."
Don't believe me? Take another look.
I have copied this lovely description from wikipedia, for further support of my existing evidence. I have bolded the most important parts.
" For other uses of Bigfoot, see Bigfoot (disambiguation). For other uses of Sasquatch, see Sasquatch (disambiguation).
Bigfoot, sometimes called Sasquatch, is claimed by some to be a large, bipedal hairy humanoid creature living in remote wilderness areas. There is no physical evidence in the form of bones or a body to prove they exist as a zoological species.
It is purported to exist in areas of North America - such as those in southwestern Canada, the Great Lakes region, the Pacific Northwest, the Rocky Mountains, the forests of the U.S. Northeast and the U.S. Southern states - and also around the world under different regional names such as Yeti. Unconfirmed reports of similarly-described creatures have also occurred in China, Russia, Australia and South America."
Brown pants is without a doubt, hairy and strange. He's probably from the wilderness based on his poor social interaction skills. And, oh yes, where's Chicago? BY THE GREAT LAKES. PSH.
Hence, I conclude that brown pants is a sasquatch, or a yeti, if you prefer. No doubt about it.
I became determined to get a picture of him (so as to further ridicule him and to put a face to the stalker we constantly tell the most odd stories about). Unfortunately, I have not yet attained a face-shot. But, I have tried to recreate brown pants' unusual walk from two photos I do have of him. It didn't turn out quiet right, but it shows somewhat of his walk. See for yourself.
Suddenly, something hit me. I've seen this creature before... but where? A good 1 minute of searching and I had it. The truth behind what brown pants really is and why he's so strange, all answered in a single discovery? Yes, it's true!
I have discovered that brown pants is really a...
Sasquatch!
Commonly known as "Bigfoot."
Don't believe me? Take another look.
I have copied this lovely description from wikipedia, for further support of my existing evidence. I have bolded the most important parts.
" For other uses of Bigfoot, see Bigfoot (disambiguation). For other uses of Sasquatch, see Sasquatch (disambiguation).
Bigfoot, sometimes called Sasquatch, is claimed by some to be a large, bipedal hairy humanoid creature living in remote wilderness areas. There is no physical evidence in the form of bones or a body to prove they exist as a zoological species.
It is purported to exist in areas of North America - such as those in southwestern Canada, the Great Lakes region, the Pacific Northwest, the Rocky Mountains, the forests of the U.S. Northeast and the U.S. Southern states - and also around the world under different regional names such as Yeti. Unconfirmed reports of similarly-described creatures have also occurred in China, Russia, Australia and South America."
Brown pants is without a doubt, hairy and strange. He's probably from the wilderness based on his poor social interaction skills. And, oh yes, where's Chicago? BY THE GREAT LAKES. PSH.
Hence, I conclude that brown pants is a sasquatch, or a yeti, if you prefer. No doubt about it.