The Myth of Purity

[alline_mathin]

I came across this article in vaginapagina and I thought those in this community would be interested in reading it. The book sounds very interesting, definately something I'd like to read for myself.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30353377// 

Comments

[yaoihuntresse]

Thank God someone wrote a book like this. I've found the underlineing belief that the erotophobes (to use the phrase by Dr Marty Klein) that solely judge women on their virginity alone sick. It makes me wonder how many of these married "pure" girls develop massive guilt complexes after losing it to their husbands and fear that they're no long "pure" anymore and\or that the fairy tale of the husband being a perfect knight in shining armor that was going to give them that perfect experience was just an expectation and nothing more. Or the husband who realize too late that a girl who focused totally on her virginity had nothing else to offer because she didnt' focus on the things that didn't matter.

It's scarey how some of those groups don't even want either gender to not only refrain from masterbation, hug a certain way (like the 4 second hugs at some Christian university) but even having the slightest sexy thought because it's adultry to your future husband. I knew fundamentalist Christian students in my art college who begged the dean not to make them take the figure drawing class because they might get sexual thoughts from the nude models and thus commit adultry. I wouldn't be surprised if these people created their own version of barqua (or whatever those Muslim body covers).

[kisekileia]

That mentality you're describing in the second paragraph is very familiar to me, unfortunately. I still have a real emotional struggle with myself about the issue of sexually fantasizing about real people: is it disrespectful, creepy, making them into sex objects, innocently flattering? I have known plenty of people who would have done the same thing as those art students you knew, and at one point I was one of them.

[alline_mathin]

It's a shame, really. It puts unrealistic expectations on people. We have sexual fantasies about people we see and know, we just do, it's a part of being a non-asexual human, it's a part of having a sex drive.

[yaoihuntresse]

But to these people, especally Joshua Harris, lust is the enemy.

[alline_mathin]

Which is the problem.

[yaoihuntresse]

It encourages people to get into rushed relationships because they're told to either marry or burn with lust without knowing where you stand sexually. The excuse that it'll be no surprise when you discover together with your future spouse, but the problem is that there are such things as "bad surprises" especally when you find out that you and your spouse aren't sexually compatable. Or that females are still forced to be "pure" even in marriage and as Physlis Shefly (sp) tells them, "lie back and expect some discomfort" while the husbands are told to pour all your lust into your wife and f--- any insecurities away with her. It's just like the Victorian times all over again.

[alline_mathin]

It is, it really is, it's disturbing.

[yaoihuntresse]

It shows you that this guilt is doing more damage then helping.