I...am....a martyr
I often get this vision, where I am on the cross. It's dark, the sky is a shade of purple. I'm strung up, there is thunder and it is raining. My head is wrapped in barbed wire. I guess inside I feel I am a martyr in a way. I am have given myself for the sake of my own self expression. Yet to my misfortune, my efforts so often do unnoticed. I want to be an artist, and I want to express myself, and I want those who feel they can not express themselves to be inspired by me and express themselves.
Art is nothing without interprutation, and inside we all have the able to feel pain and feel pleasure. If only it was as easy to express as it is to feel. Some people express through art, others through drugs, alcohol, or even self abuse. I've tryed them all, but art is the way I prefer, mainly cause drugs are too expensive, hang-overs suck, and I'm too thick skinned to cut myself bad enough for it to bleed. I mean, yeah, I've cut, only enough to biuld up my adrenaline, then I crash shortly after...Helps to fall asleep.
I wish I could make music, I hear it, and I love it. I feel it is the ultimate form of expression, because you can envoke so many feelings from the mix of words and sounds. The artistic depth of music is so much deeper then most people who just "listen" really hear. Music can inspire; Littleton, Colorado, a teenager from CHS committed suicide by hanging himself. He left a cd on repeat, and the song that was playing was Adam's Song by Blink 182. Obviously, this young man had a lot on his mind, alot more then he could share or express, but this one song envoked enough emotion out of him that he left it as his declaration of death.
You may remember the name CHS, or Columbine High School. Music played a role there only but a few years early. One artist by the name of Marilyn Manson was subject to ridicule because his music influenced a group of trench coat clad teenagers to kill maybe students in their school as well as themselves. The belief the music was behind it, i'll leave you to judge, but honestly, these were not kids who were thriving on the emotions of one twisted individuals lyrics, they were scared children who couldn't show people their true faces because they alone, felt they would exprience the pain of be singled out... the pain of being alone. If only someone gave them the gift of expression, insted of beating them into their hole, then maybe there would not have been a need for them to plot vengence against those who picked on, harrassed, bullied, hurt them. Maybe we'd have a handleful of KIDS who would be alive today.
I dream too big. There will always be outcasts, especially these days when being "outcasted" is what's cool... I'm trailing off subject here
My point is, I'll give myself for the art... I use my words to express my pain, and if only others come do the same, then there could be a handful of happy kids, as opposed to a generation that thrives on scars and being the outcast, or to follow the scene....
Art is nothing without interprutation, and inside we all have the able to feel pain and feel pleasure. If only it was as easy to express as it is to feel. Some people express through art, others through drugs, alcohol, or even self abuse. I've tryed them all, but art is the way I prefer, mainly cause drugs are too expensive, hang-overs suck, and I'm too thick skinned to cut myself bad enough for it to bleed. I mean, yeah, I've cut, only enough to biuld up my adrenaline, then I crash shortly after...Helps to fall asleep.
I wish I could make music, I hear it, and I love it. I feel it is the ultimate form of expression, because you can envoke so many feelings from the mix of words and sounds. The artistic depth of music is so much deeper then most people who just "listen" really hear. Music can inspire; Littleton, Colorado, a teenager from CHS committed suicide by hanging himself. He left a cd on repeat, and the song that was playing was Adam's Song by Blink 182. Obviously, this young man had a lot on his mind, alot more then he could share or express, but this one song envoked enough emotion out of him that he left it as his declaration of death.
You may remember the name CHS, or Columbine High School. Music played a role there only but a few years early. One artist by the name of Marilyn Manson was subject to ridicule because his music influenced a group of trench coat clad teenagers to kill maybe students in their school as well as themselves. The belief the music was behind it, i'll leave you to judge, but honestly, these were not kids who were thriving on the emotions of one twisted individuals lyrics, they were scared children who couldn't show people their true faces because they alone, felt they would exprience the pain of be singled out... the pain of being alone. If only someone gave them the gift of expression, insted of beating them into their hole, then maybe there would not have been a need for them to plot vengence against those who picked on, harrassed, bullied, hurt them. Maybe we'd have a handleful of KIDS who would be alive today.
I dream too big. There will always be outcasts, especially these days when being "outcasted" is what's cool... I'm trailing off subject here
My point is, I'll give myself for the art... I use my words to express my pain, and if only others come do the same, then there could be a handful of happy kids, as opposed to a generation that thrives on scars and being the outcast, or to follow the scene....