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[reciprokate]

They tell me that searching my face is like trying to find the spot where the river becomes ocean or the dusk becomes dark: not quite absent, and not quite present. I do try.
And then this haircut...this cute angled bob of a thing that belongs to a shorter, cuter woman with a whimsical name. I have to smile all of the time just to keep up with it.

Comments

[big_noyze]

hey...i was just reading an old comment you left me. i just wanted to tell you how much i love you and wish we were still as good of friends as we used to be. i miss hanging out with good people

[reciprokate]

I'm really glad you did 'mini-blog'. The good news is, you're not the only one. With the exception of a few people, I think everyone (including me) tried to shed their high school selves - going away to school, new friends, getting laid, whatever. I think it's interesting that most of the choices that led us away from our teenage selves have also led us away from our teenage ideals. We miss those youth group friendships, but we forget to ask ourselves what it was about those friendships that made them work. While it's great to have reunions...there's always that underlying tension, the sideways glances, and awkward pauses. We don't all have the same beliefs and lifestyles any more; because we knew each other 'back when' it's more difficult to look one another in the face straight on.

How do we reconcile our yearning for those friendships and our current lifestyles?

PS: I love you, too. I think, deep down, we all can say that.

[big_noyze]

it makes me want to cry sometimes. i want so much to have what we all had back then. i know that i've probably fallen further than some, and some further than me...but how to reconcile? the only way i can think of is to come together as Christian brothers and sisters and lay it all down. put everything out there, because deep down inside, i think that everyone from our old group wishes things were still that way.

p.s. i've decided to start keeping up with my Livejournal again. i haven't been successful at maintaining it for more than a few months at a time, so we'll see how long this run lasts. journaling is therapeutic at times.

[reciprokate]

What would it mean for us to get together and lay it all down? Would it mean that for one night we voice our sins and hang our heads, then encourage one another?

Or would we repent? Would our repentance hold the weight of decision...how would our relationships with friends and family change? Would we start going to church again and becoming involved? Would we begin to come together as a small group for study, worship, and confession?

As much as our deep heart of hearts cries out for what our yuounger wisdom had, our new flesh is comfortable. You and I both know that we won't all turn to make that change, there will always be a myriad of excuses to block His path.

[big_noyze]

true, true. i just wish there were an easy way to do this.