trying to be languid and less sad

[recherrche]

my feelings about moving out are bordering on sadness, and sadness, whichever's worse. it is 8am now and the fact that i'm in hall and actually awake to welcome the dawn of a new life without hall says something already. rain is pouring outside i've got the lights switched on, like yeah when do we ever turn the lights off anyway, but it is getting scary without hal beside me. the last time rain was this scary was during the sleepover with the spectra girls and i remember waking up to hal putting on her make-up. god i am so gonna miss that and the smell of her escada perfume. if you have been to our hall you would definitely agree that it is a makeshift confectionery/grocery minimart but now all is barren and it looks like a no man's land :( truth be told, i will miss bathing in the lizards-infested toilet (one fell on my leg OH GOODNESS), making sure i bathe in 15 minutes flat or so, freaking out about the lizards hovering above me, oh yes and the peeping tom too. i never fail to look up at the opening between the ceiling and the door. every time i bathe i think of something i could do to the scummmbag of a man. once i thought of hiking up the water temperature so high to scald his face. my brother had suggested i concoct a pepper spray. or maybe my lizard acquaintances would have helped. i'm also gonna miss hal's mum's cooking i get to taste every week and the indonesian goodies she brings us. i think my favourite cook next to my mother is probably her.and then there're the neighbours whom i've grown quite close to, dropping by whenever they can. of course, the surprise macdonald's breakfasts or toasts and iced milo A hangs at the door some mornings to perk up my day or the late-night dinners he and razak will deliver to our doorstep. most people in hall rarely have food to eat but hal and me are truly blessed. and those times A took care of me when i was sick, ahhhh depressed ): and hal, the sister i never had, our late-night-sleepy-but-still-want-to-bitch-about-people moments, quests for lizards, freaking out about the slow-moving ants, getting hooked up to the same songs, god what would i do without her. imagine i get a random roommate, we all know i'm not big on connections. let me go back to sleep now and wake up at 12, maybe when i wake up at a normal time, everything will be in place, and i don't have to shift out just yet :(( on the bright side, i get to be home everyday and eat fresh food and soup!!! my mum and hal's mum rarely pack soups for us because it is difficult to store and the vegetables will go limp anyway. tv is also one major factor that beckons me home too. and i will get to see my family everyday so yaaay <3

i can't write in paragraphs my brain is crying me a river.