(no subject)
I have reached the point where I really don't want to talk to anyone about anything where we disagere.
That's pretty radical and you immediately are going to say "Wow that's close minded", but here's the thing.
There are only two reasons to argue or talk about something you disagree over.
1) To change the other person's opinion.
2) To defend your own.
Let's talk about 1. I've got a big background in psychology, and I know that regardless of new information, 9 times out of 10, people do not change their minds. It is very taxing to re-write information or opinion in your head; typically, you just dismiss/forget/make a caveat for 'ok in that instance I'm not 100% correct, but in GENERAL what I think is true." This happens even if you present people with absolute proof they are incorrect, it's unlikely that they will accept it and change their opinion, because that is hard on a cognitive level, not to mention their personal picadillos like being stubborn or not wanting to 'lose face' by accepting they're wrong, etc. So I see it, 9 times out of 10, as a waste of time, because people just will not budge.
Ok, what about that 10% of the time when they do change their mind? My answer is: so what?
So what, they changed their opinion in line with yours. What does that mean? For practical terms, not a damn thing.
Let's take something controversial but pointless, like Support for Israel. Regardless of your opinion, it doesn't matter. Nothing you say or do will change our government's behavior towards Israel, or our political climate towards Israel. So if you change your opinion one way or the other, what does that mean for you? It means that you get annoyed when you see people say things that are against your opinion, and you feel better when people agree with your opinion. That's it. It's merely 'This pisses me off' vs. 'that does'.
The point here is that most opinions - whether this director's movies are good, what your stance on immigration is, which subculture is stupid - will not impact your behavior at all. Maybe you'll defend it to someone else, or oppose it to someone else, but again, see the whole 'ti doesn't matter', so what?
"What about people who are abusive to those who disagree with them? Like standing up for social justice?" Congrats, you found an exception to the general rule. Acting on behalf of social justice is great.. But this is one of those rare situations where it's a socially tense issue. There's actual voting taking place about people's rights. There's something easy that can be done. More oftehn than not tho, this isn't the case.
There's also the situation of bias behavior. If you think x about y, then you'll act in those manners. Again, this is a general rule: your behavior doesn't matter. Let's say you're against abortion rights. Unless you 1) protest with big fetus signs outside of Planned Parenthood, 2) give money to anti-abortion groups/anti-politicians, 3) give someone shit for having gotten an abortion, or 4) vote for pro-life candidates, then your opinion effects no one. Notice that there are two trends here: being a dick to someone else because you disagree, and supporting political groups who, unlike individuals, can effect the process. Politicians and Lobbyists have power, whether Joe thinks global warming is bullshit but never votes, give money, or acts like a dick, does not.
So let's go back to #2: defending it. That's merely making you feel legitimate for holding your opinion. You want to prevent someone from saying you're wrong, by showing them you're right. Well, again, if it doesn't matter whether you change someone's opinion, than your opinion doesn't matter either.
Either the opinion you hold doesn't matter/is personal preference ("That guy's movies are lame"), or it won't effect you 9 times out of 10, the 10th being Political Action and Being a Dick.
(Yes, I consider discrimination (acting on prejudices - "Whites Only" to be in the Being a Dick category)
That's pretty radical and you immediately are going to say "Wow that's close minded", but here's the thing.
There are only two reasons to argue or talk about something you disagree over.
1) To change the other person's opinion.
2) To defend your own.
Let's talk about 1. I've got a big background in psychology, and I know that regardless of new information, 9 times out of 10, people do not change their minds. It is very taxing to re-write information or opinion in your head; typically, you just dismiss/forget/make a caveat for 'ok in that instance I'm not 100% correct, but in GENERAL what I think is true." This happens even if you present people with absolute proof they are incorrect, it's unlikely that they will accept it and change their opinion, because that is hard on a cognitive level, not to mention their personal picadillos like being stubborn or not wanting to 'lose face' by accepting they're wrong, etc. So I see it, 9 times out of 10, as a waste of time, because people just will not budge.
Ok, what about that 10% of the time when they do change their mind? My answer is: so what?
So what, they changed their opinion in line with yours. What does that mean? For practical terms, not a damn thing.
Let's take something controversial but pointless, like Support for Israel. Regardless of your opinion, it doesn't matter. Nothing you say or do will change our government's behavior towards Israel, or our political climate towards Israel. So if you change your opinion one way or the other, what does that mean for you? It means that you get annoyed when you see people say things that are against your opinion, and you feel better when people agree with your opinion. That's it. It's merely 'This pisses me off' vs. 'that does'.
The point here is that most opinions - whether this director's movies are good, what your stance on immigration is, which subculture is stupid - will not impact your behavior at all. Maybe you'll defend it to someone else, or oppose it to someone else, but again, see the whole 'ti doesn't matter', so what?
"What about people who are abusive to those who disagree with them? Like standing up for social justice?" Congrats, you found an exception to the general rule. Acting on behalf of social justice is great.. But this is one of those rare situations where it's a socially tense issue. There's actual voting taking place about people's rights. There's something easy that can be done. More oftehn than not tho, this isn't the case.
There's also the situation of bias behavior. If you think x about y, then you'll act in those manners. Again, this is a general rule: your behavior doesn't matter. Let's say you're against abortion rights. Unless you 1) protest with big fetus signs outside of Planned Parenthood, 2) give money to anti-abortion groups/anti-politicians, 3) give someone shit for having gotten an abortion, or 4) vote for pro-life candidates, then your opinion effects no one. Notice that there are two trends here: being a dick to someone else because you disagree, and supporting political groups who, unlike individuals, can effect the process. Politicians and Lobbyists have power, whether Joe thinks global warming is bullshit but never votes, give money, or acts like a dick, does not.
So let's go back to #2: defending it. That's merely making you feel legitimate for holding your opinion. You want to prevent someone from saying you're wrong, by showing them you're right. Well, again, if it doesn't matter whether you change someone's opinion, than your opinion doesn't matter either.
Either the opinion you hold doesn't matter/is personal preference ("That guy's movies are lame"), or it won't effect you 9 times out of 10, the 10th being Political Action and Being a Dick.
(Yes, I consider discrimination (acting on prejudices - "Whites Only" to be in the Being a Dick category)