bone tired of life
Her reply is this
Rebus,
I can no help you any more. Don't worry about my kids there doing fine. Why do you care you don't even know who they are never have. Maybe Jennetta you talk to and I don't care.
Do not call Dad to have him call me to call you. My so called family has used up any and financially and emotionally over the years. I'm done.
After 2 years you did not get the hint?
My reply is this
Well Jen I tried a tried over the years to get know you and your kids? Since you want blunt I give blunt. You cut me off no reason that thinks of. That is your pattern that been doing for years and years. Then you get a hold of me and I know that going leave just as fast. That why I don't know you or your kids. I don't know you. I don't know what going on if you their lives because that the way you want it. That why I don't know what going on in your life. Who you guys are not because of me. Because you stop calling me, you all ways have a reason. This time around I thought that we would have adult relationship. We had given a take aspect. No argument about stupid shit. you set the rule about how want me to be in your life then pull the rug out under me once again I all ways wonder what why how this or that. Yes I don't money or car or things that do for other but try to do what within my means. But you pull away you leave me I don't hear from years and years. I wonder how you are your kids are. But you set the rules you leave me alone once again. I don't leave you. So each and every time that this happen I know the pain that your guys not in life once again.. I DON'T LEAVE YOU GUYS YOU LEAVE ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I TAKE THE SMALL BIT TRY TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU GIVE AT THE TIME. BUT THERE IS ALL WAYS INDERLINING PAIN KNOW THAT JUST CUT ME OFF FOR KNOW DAM REASON AT ALL. FOR ME LIFE IAm ABOUT ALL THAT POSITIVE EMTION STAY WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT OTHER DOES IN THEIR LIFE? I HAD ENOUGHT PAIN GRIEF FROM THE SHIT WE HAD DEAL WITH WHEN KID. SINCE CAN'T SEEEM TO GRASPT THE FACT THAT LOVE IS LOVE NO MATTER IF OTHER DOESN’T WANT ME IN THEIR LIVES. NONE OF YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT ABOUT ME AT ALL. SO I SIT WORLD AN WONDER WHY THEY LEFT ONCE AGAIN. WHY WHY WHY WHY . I DEAL WITH THOSE DECISION THAT YOU THAT YOU MADE ABOUT ME. I HAVE SIT AN MISS OUT SHORT TIME THAT WOULD WITH YOU AND THEM. YOU LEAVE LIKE ALL WAYS. SIT WONDER WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT FUCK THIS SHIT ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
SO DON'T TELL I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU GUYS AT ALL; THAT DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM. I ALL WAYS SAID THAT WANTED TO BE IN YOUR LIFE AND IN THEIR LIFE AS WELL. BUT YOU AS THE MOM DECIDED THAT NOT TO BE. I DON'T HAVE THE MEANS TO DO JACK SHIT ABOUT IT AT ALL. THINK FOR ONE DAM MOMENT WHAT LIKE FOR ME. JUST ONCE WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR ME TO BE CUT AGAIN FROM YOUR GUYS LIFE. THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN AN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES I TOOK THAT FUCKING HINT ALONG TIME AGO. BUT FAMILY IS FAMILY SOME TIME TRY AN TRY TO GET AHOLD OF THEM SO THAT THEY KNOW I STILL FUCKING CARE. SO YOU TAKE GOD DAM HINT AS WELL!!!!!!!THAT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU AN YOUR KIDS AND ALL WAYS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HINT HINT HINT
Time I wonder why try to stay a hold family. Just like always the cut me off. Brother over 20 years that I haven’t scene him. The Other brother I have scene only 2 times in the last 20 years. Sister 3 time over 30 years. Other sister all ways say she doesn’t have time for this shit. 1 brother that doesn’t really want to see at all was once year at X mass. I don’t trust him and never will. But got see his kid for abet. Step brother an sister they don’t want be around me for make uncomfortable for make mistake because deaf. Nieces and neffew I don’t see either for the parent say this or that or some reason that don’t understand normal aspect relationship. Bad child then bad teenager then becoming disable at 19. With the brain damage that not really bad but making normal socialize seem like a foreign country. When a bad case social anxiety as well. I don’t seem to do what normal people do. But for some reason I try and see. Just that once again 1 of the 3 sister cut me off 2 years ago. At first I wasn’t sure then after a bit I knew. But I called from time to time wish her an kid happy holiday. Yes I knew she didn’t want me in there life but if she decided that she did she feel free to do it. So I sit alone once again and again an again wonder what they up to how are they doing. I don’t let positive emotions go for the good thing in life. They may not want me in there life but doesn’t negate what feeling. They cut me off for reasons that I’m never sure of leave me alone. She get back in me life an I know she going to leave so there is underling feeling doom for I know she going to cut me off. She going to blame me for some reason or other an then when I see her she will expect me not say or do anything for she give me bit of time then cut off once again. Be mad at me for don’t know her or her kids. How know some one when don’t want in your life. I don’t have the money for a car or to do this or that. So have do it with in my means. If some one that care about an they in my life I help them out. Do this or that around there house. I know that wreck my body for a bit but that is the only way repay them for doing thing for me. But they don’t see the price that pay when wreck my body. When I have to go to the ER and begged for pain pill a 9 out 19 times they said no!!! I have deal with pain lever and depend on what level. It can take 3 day to 5 months to get better. Why do I put myself threw it because some time the only way that show them that care help them out. Well lucky for me I haven’t spoken or visit or did anything for over 2 years. Why because the over turn that did were not returned. I am not second or third chose or after thought once again. I have done with that aspect from that wants to be in my life. If can’t give me your right number then you don’t want me in your life. I don’t go any place or do anything any more. Why. It is Less painful for me. I am going to 51 soon I given up lot different aspect in life. Just doesn’t seem worth it. If don’t try any more I don’t get hurt for they left me once again. Still it lingers in my soul why!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know!!!!!!!!!!!! Why coming up, she wrote to me said why do I care about her or her kid. I don’t know them. Well sure I don’t know them you come back in to my life and then with out warming leave again. Then years go by and what to be my life again. At first there was no underling feeling of doom. But the last time yes I knew she cut me off like before. Why for am getting surgeries next month yes I called her phone number ask for a ride. Then call my dad to see hold of her. She wrote to me said she could not an hart surgeries as well can’t drive. I wrote back said that fine I hope she and her kid doing well. Why do I care I don’t know them or her. Can’t take a hint it has been 2 years.
The soul weep
The body lingers on
Tears no long leave trail
Empty vast void of life
Linger linger to the bone
Happiness unfold next time around
Rebus,
I can no help you any more. Don't worry about my kids there doing fine. Why do you care you don't even know who they are never have. Maybe Jennetta you talk to and I don't care.
Do not call Dad to have him call me to call you. My so called family has used up any and financially and emotionally over the years. I'm done.
After 2 years you did not get the hint?
My reply is this
Well Jen I tried a tried over the years to get know you and your kids? Since you want blunt I give blunt. You cut me off no reason that thinks of. That is your pattern that been doing for years and years. Then you get a hold of me and I know that going leave just as fast. That why I don't know you or your kids. I don't know you. I don't know what going on if you their lives because that the way you want it. That why I don't know what going on in your life. Who you guys are not because of me. Because you stop calling me, you all ways have a reason. This time around I thought that we would have adult relationship. We had given a take aspect. No argument about stupid shit. you set the rule about how want me to be in your life then pull the rug out under me once again I all ways wonder what why how this or that. Yes I don't money or car or things that do for other but try to do what within my means. But you pull away you leave me I don't hear from years and years. I wonder how you are your kids are. But you set the rules you leave me alone once again. I don't leave you. So each and every time that this happen I know the pain that your guys not in life once again.. I DON'T LEAVE YOU GUYS YOU LEAVE ME OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I TAKE THE SMALL BIT TRY TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU GIVE AT THE TIME. BUT THERE IS ALL WAYS INDERLINING PAIN KNOW THAT JUST CUT ME OFF FOR KNOW DAM REASON AT ALL. FOR ME LIFE IAm ABOUT ALL THAT POSITIVE EMTION STAY WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT OTHER DOES IN THEIR LIFE? I HAD ENOUGHT PAIN GRIEF FROM THE SHIT WE HAD DEAL WITH WHEN KID. SINCE CAN'T SEEEM TO GRASPT THE FACT THAT LOVE IS LOVE NO MATTER IF OTHER DOESN’T WANT ME IN THEIR LIVES. NONE OF YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT ABOUT ME AT ALL. SO I SIT WORLD AN WONDER WHY THEY LEFT ONCE AGAIN. WHY WHY WHY WHY . I DEAL WITH THOSE DECISION THAT YOU THAT YOU MADE ABOUT ME. I HAVE SIT AN MISS OUT SHORT TIME THAT WOULD WITH YOU AND THEM. YOU LEAVE LIKE ALL WAYS. SIT WONDER WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT FUCK THIS SHIT ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS OUT AGAIN AND AGAIN.
SO DON'T TELL I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU GUYS AT ALL; THAT DON'T WANT TO KNOW THEM. I ALL WAYS SAID THAT WANTED TO BE IN YOUR LIFE AND IN THEIR LIFE AS WELL. BUT YOU AS THE MOM DECIDED THAT NOT TO BE. I DON'T HAVE THE MEANS TO DO JACK SHIT ABOUT IT AT ALL. THINK FOR ONE DAM MOMENT WHAT LIKE FOR ME. JUST ONCE WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR ME TO BE CUT AGAIN FROM YOUR GUYS LIFE. THEN AGAIN AND AGAIN AN AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES I TOOK THAT FUCKING HINT ALONG TIME AGO. BUT FAMILY IS FAMILY SOME TIME TRY AN TRY TO GET AHOLD OF THEM SO THAT THEY KNOW I STILL FUCKING CARE. SO YOU TAKE GOD DAM HINT AS WELL!!!!!!!THAT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU AN YOUR KIDS AND ALL WAYS WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HINT HINT HINT
Time I wonder why try to stay a hold family. Just like always the cut me off. Brother over 20 years that I haven’t scene him. The Other brother I have scene only 2 times in the last 20 years. Sister 3 time over 30 years. Other sister all ways say she doesn’t have time for this shit. 1 brother that doesn’t really want to see at all was once year at X mass. I don’t trust him and never will. But got see his kid for abet. Step brother an sister they don’t want be around me for make uncomfortable for make mistake because deaf. Nieces and neffew I don’t see either for the parent say this or that or some reason that don’t understand normal aspect relationship. Bad child then bad teenager then becoming disable at 19. With the brain damage that not really bad but making normal socialize seem like a foreign country. When a bad case social anxiety as well. I don’t seem to do what normal people do. But for some reason I try and see. Just that once again 1 of the 3 sister cut me off 2 years ago. At first I wasn’t sure then after a bit I knew. But I called from time to time wish her an kid happy holiday. Yes I knew she didn’t want me in there life but if she decided that she did she feel free to do it. So I sit alone once again and again an again wonder what they up to how are they doing. I don’t let positive emotions go for the good thing in life. They may not want me in there life but doesn’t negate what feeling. They cut me off for reasons that I’m never sure of leave me alone. She get back in me life an I know she going to leave so there is underling feeling doom for I know she going to cut me off. She going to blame me for some reason or other an then when I see her she will expect me not say or do anything for she give me bit of time then cut off once again. Be mad at me for don’t know her or her kids. How know some one when don’t want in your life. I don’t have the money for a car or to do this or that. So have do it with in my means. If some one that care about an they in my life I help them out. Do this or that around there house. I know that wreck my body for a bit but that is the only way repay them for doing thing for me. But they don’t see the price that pay when wreck my body. When I have to go to the ER and begged for pain pill a 9 out 19 times they said no!!! I have deal with pain lever and depend on what level. It can take 3 day to 5 months to get better. Why do I put myself threw it because some time the only way that show them that care help them out. Well lucky for me I haven’t spoken or visit or did anything for over 2 years. Why because the over turn that did were not returned. I am not second or third chose or after thought once again. I have done with that aspect from that wants to be in my life. If can’t give me your right number then you don’t want me in your life. I don’t go any place or do anything any more. Why. It is Less painful for me. I am going to 51 soon I given up lot different aspect in life. Just doesn’t seem worth it. If don’t try any more I don’t get hurt for they left me once again. Still it lingers in my soul why!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know!!!!!!!!!!!! Why coming up, she wrote to me said why do I care about her or her kid. I don’t know them. Well sure I don’t know them you come back in to my life and then with out warming leave again. Then years go by and what to be my life again. At first there was no underling feeling of doom. But the last time yes I knew she cut me off like before. Why for am getting surgeries next month yes I called her phone number ask for a ride. Then call my dad to see hold of her. She wrote to me said she could not an hart surgeries as well can’t drive. I wrote back said that fine I hope she and her kid doing well. Why do I care I don’t know them or her. Can’t take a hint it has been 2 years.
The soul weep
The body lingers on
Tears no long leave trail
Empty vast void of life
Linger linger to the bone
Happiness unfold next time around