(no subject)
It's 3:27 and I should be in bed but instead I'm too upset to do so. Thoughts just keeping racing in my head of how I'm more than likely a complete waste of space this summer. I haven't contributed to anyone's life, not even my own. I've come to the devastating realization that this is more than likely my last summer in the town I was raised yet I haven't done a thing to make it memorable and haven't had much chance to do so. While others are going to shows and having late night swimming fun, I'm pairing up carbon wafers, getting cement stuck in my hair, or sleeping while covered in carbon dust. My nose feels stiff from inhaling glue and carbon, my skin looks rough from dust and sleep deprivation, and my over all demeanor is irritated with life. The worst part of all this is that I feel like in the memory of everyone, I'll just be that girl who had a funny accent when she would say "ginger ale" that once dated that guy and that'll be it. I know that is stupid and paranoid of me, but in all honesty is probably pretty realistic. I won't have brightened anyone's day because I'm not an incredibly affectionate friend nor a witty conversationalist. I won't have made anyone feel better about a situation with an enlightened opinion on it. I feel entirely petty about all these thoughts too. I know I should be excited for Jo, Max, and Rico for meeting and touching Tegan and Sara but instead I'm envious beyond words. The same goes for everyone who saw Eisley, particularly Ronda since she got to see Russell and Donnie who I haven't seen in months and probably won't be able to see for even longer. So instead of being happy for everyone, I'm just aggravated and jealous. I feel like the worst person alive for these thoughts.
Caitlin sent me an awesome card the other day with a picture of us inside it. It made me less depressed (despite my depressed rant above).
She got the card specifically because it had this Frida Kahlo painting on it and she knew my love of Frida Kahlo.
THANK YOU, CAITLIN!!! You're the sweetest.
In other news, has anyone heard of this great sandal scandal. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/07/18/national/main709848.shtml Maybe it's just because I'm in a crappy mood, but who on God's green earth really gives a damn. Big deal. They wore flip flops to the White House. It's times like these, that I really do believe the media is controlled by a nine year-old Conservative. The fact that the media even bothers to focus on this so called scandal about as long as the London bombings baffles me, but further proves America's complete lack of care for tragedy not on our own soil.
Caitlin sent me an awesome card the other day with a picture of us inside it. It made me less depressed (despite my depressed rant above).
She got the card specifically because it had this Frida Kahlo painting on it and she knew my love of Frida Kahlo.
THANK YOU, CAITLIN!!! You're the sweetest.
In other news, has anyone heard of this great sandal scandal. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/07/18/national/main709848.shtml Maybe it's just because I'm in a crappy mood, but who on God's green earth really gives a damn. Big deal. They wore flip flops to the White House. It's times like these, that I really do believe the media is controlled by a nine year-old Conservative. The fact that the media even bothers to focus on this so called scandal about as long as the London bombings baffles me, but further proves America's complete lack of care for tragedy not on our own soil.