i need help
i have major problems with asking for help. i dunno if it came from growing up with a twin who was ALWAYS excelling past me or what, but im not good at it.
im sitting here writting this while rocking back and forth. i cant stop.
i cant sit still. in the few sentances ive written ive already gotten up and paced 3 or 4 times... i dont even know.
i dont know whats wrong
i cant sit still.
is it a collision of all the stress of shit getting to me? i dont know. can i just not take it? prolly.
do i get a choice? no
mental breakdowns arent allowed. they arent acceptable. i have too much to do, too much to do, to have this happen now.
ive never felt like i feel right now.
i dont know how to explain this anxious feeling in my stomach. ive never had it this bad. i cant breathe. i cant sit still.
human beings should just be able to be yah know? i should just be able to sit and breathe and just be...but i cant do it? what the fuck?
i was fine earlier today.
now i cant sit still
its freaking me out...im actually really fucking scared of myself right now...and im scared that im writting this...i mean what if i crash in a few hours and im fine in the morning?
but what if im not?
what the hell is wrong with me?
why cant i breathe? why cant i just be?
"everyone knows im in over my head"
why does it feel like all of a sudden everything is collapsing down on me?
but why can i not tell what the problem is?
this is not something i have ever had happen before. i dont know if its just a stupid bad night or what but im really fuckin freaked out.
i need help
i can never ask for it
but i need it right now...and of course right now (10:18 on a fucking thursday night) i cant get it.
i need someone to sit on the couch with me, to hold me still from this shaking and to tell me im not insane...to tell me its ok...
being lonely doesnt help this feeling either.
i just
i cant breathe
i need help.
im sitting here writting this while rocking back and forth. i cant stop.
i cant sit still. in the few sentances ive written ive already gotten up and paced 3 or 4 times... i dont even know.
i dont know whats wrong
i cant sit still.
is it a collision of all the stress of shit getting to me? i dont know. can i just not take it? prolly.
do i get a choice? no
mental breakdowns arent allowed. they arent acceptable. i have too much to do, too much to do, to have this happen now.
ive never felt like i feel right now.
i dont know how to explain this anxious feeling in my stomach. ive never had it this bad. i cant breathe. i cant sit still.
human beings should just be able to be yah know? i should just be able to sit and breathe and just be...but i cant do it? what the fuck?
i was fine earlier today.
now i cant sit still
its freaking me out...im actually really fucking scared of myself right now...and im scared that im writting this...i mean what if i crash in a few hours and im fine in the morning?
but what if im not?
what the hell is wrong with me?
why cant i breathe? why cant i just be?
"everyone knows im in over my head"
why does it feel like all of a sudden everything is collapsing down on me?
but why can i not tell what the problem is?
this is not something i have ever had happen before. i dont know if its just a stupid bad night or what but im really fuckin freaked out.
i need help
i can never ask for it
but i need it right now...and of course right now (10:18 on a fucking thursday night) i cant get it.
i need someone to sit on the couch with me, to hold me still from this shaking and to tell me im not insane...to tell me its ok...
being lonely doesnt help this feeling either.
i just
i cant breathe
i need help.