The Good Times Are Killing Me
For the prime of my life, I feel awfully bogged down. I'm already dreading work every morning, sold out for better pay and benefits, and feeling gloomy about the way the rest of my life will go. Having my whole future ahead of me doesn't seem true and it certainly doesn't help to have the whole societal mentality of achieving ultimate success as early as possible in life. Really, we should all be traveling or spending most of our time volunteering; just experiencing what life has to offer...but those opportunities are really frowned upon. We're breaking our backs and committing emotional suicide for NO GOOD REASON. When I think about it, most of the people that read this are, I think, doing things they enjoy. I am most certainly not.
My search for good grad school programs continues and I feel really good about my ability to get in by Fall 2009. I should be starting the community ambassador program with Planned Parenthood soon and I'm so excited about that. I absolutely love working toward social education; knowledge is power and a lot of people need to know that they have the power to better their and their children's lives by making responsible decisions. I kind of consider this as a mission to bridge the gap between religion and reality. Public office, here I come. Prepare the soapbox please.
The dating scene is kind of dull right now. I've gone out on a few casual dates with a couple guys and there's really no spark. I'm sure it's just that I'm rethinking the value of the spark because in retrospect it's not a always good indication of a good match. They're guys I would love to keep as friends for sure, but I think one is really starting to like me, and I can't afford to make myself emotionally (or physically) available unless I feel like going in for the long haul. My ego has found it's voice and that is playing a part now in how I decide to be with someone. All in all, Pete is the best thing to happen to me yet. Without him, I wouldn't realize my value...in the best way, I'm the weirdest but most genuine person (I guess superlatives aren't the best for this, because everyone I hang out with is weird and genuine, but for all intensive purposes it'll have to do). Instead of looking at how I can change myself to make a relationship work, I take it for what we are; if what we are is not good together, then will the next in line please step up?
Part of feeling trapped in my life is my co-dependent nature. The thought of leaving my friends for a totally new place scares the shit out of me. Which is weird, because I already did that when I came to Minneapolis, and everything worked out fine. There's a job with The Nature Conservancy in Anchorage, Alaska and I would love to work in an area with such natural beauty, especially an area with a hot-bed of political activity and chances to learn governmental navigation and how the public is fed "information" from either side. But there's also am amazing position here in Minneapolis...
Oi! So that's me in a nutshell for the week. Some of y'all need to put your posting hats on; it's been too long.
My search for good grad school programs continues and I feel really good about my ability to get in by Fall 2009. I should be starting the community ambassador program with Planned Parenthood soon and I'm so excited about that. I absolutely love working toward social education; knowledge is power and a lot of people need to know that they have the power to better their and their children's lives by making responsible decisions. I kind of consider this as a mission to bridge the gap between religion and reality. Public office, here I come. Prepare the soapbox please.
The dating scene is kind of dull right now. I've gone out on a few casual dates with a couple guys and there's really no spark. I'm sure it's just that I'm rethinking the value of the spark because in retrospect it's not a always good indication of a good match. They're guys I would love to keep as friends for sure, but I think one is really starting to like me, and I can't afford to make myself emotionally (or physically) available unless I feel like going in for the long haul. My ego has found it's voice and that is playing a part now in how I decide to be with someone. All in all, Pete is the best thing to happen to me yet. Without him, I wouldn't realize my value...in the best way, I'm the weirdest but most genuine person (I guess superlatives aren't the best for this, because everyone I hang out with is weird and genuine, but for all intensive purposes it'll have to do). Instead of looking at how I can change myself to make a relationship work, I take it for what we are; if what we are is not good together, then will the next in line please step up?
Part of feeling trapped in my life is my co-dependent nature. The thought of leaving my friends for a totally new place scares the shit out of me. Which is weird, because I already did that when I came to Minneapolis, and everything worked out fine. There's a job with The Nature Conservancy in Anchorage, Alaska and I would love to work in an area with such natural beauty, especially an area with a hot-bed of political activity and chances to learn governmental navigation and how the public is fed "information" from either side. But there's also am amazing position here in Minneapolis...
Oi! So that's me in a nutshell for the week. Some of y'all need to put your posting hats on; it's been too long.