seriously i try so hard, and just when i find a balance, my car dies. Destroying my life and budget
All i want is to make some progress in life. I want to be done with school so i can start working and building a life of my own. I'm tired of how constrained the last decade of my life has been by finances. I want to be in a position where i don't feel like i'm drowning almost all of the time so i can connect with someone else and we can help each other mutually. This would help the fact that i have a hard time accepting help (especially financial) from other people. I want to travel again, i've felt the pain of years going by without vacation too many times now.
I know it's kinda cliche, but Damn we need some change in this country. hah. I can't believe 1) i spend more on my car than on rent each month 2) it's literally impossible to have a life without a car in this area 3) i work really hard to better myself and there is still no cushion for shit that i go through. Very few work as hard i do, and they experience the same bumps, it's no wonder people turn to miserable jobs, crime and drugs and end up perpetuating a life they hated.
I'm so tired of spinning my wheels. I knew i didn't want to go back to school. and it's not even like i have any specific qualms with my schooling right now, some of it is quite fun and really a good education. I've just as a person fell over invested, it's time to start seeing some reward and making progress.
I know, part of it is silly . I'm working on training so that my progress at least makes some minor social difference instead of a profitable difference for some company who profits from the gouged costs of our health care system. (stupid biotech. hah.) I am scared of the potential lack of intellectual stimulation at least in biology side of leveling off while teaching high school biology, but overall excited to get to share knowledge and teach. So it's dumb for be to feel like i'm wasting my time or not progressing right now, but blows like this just keep coming and each time i'm less adapt to deal with them. My debt level freaks me out and I'm scared that despite being really aware of my money situation, i'm going to find myself in ruin anyway.
The thing that worries me most is that i've had this same post like half a dozen times in the last 5 years. Is this what life is going to be for me?
I know it's kinda cliche, but Damn we need some change in this country. hah. I can't believe 1) i spend more on my car than on rent each month 2) it's literally impossible to have a life without a car in this area 3) i work really hard to better myself and there is still no cushion for shit that i go through. Very few work as hard i do, and they experience the same bumps, it's no wonder people turn to miserable jobs, crime and drugs and end up perpetuating a life they hated.
I'm so tired of spinning my wheels. I knew i didn't want to go back to school. and it's not even like i have any specific qualms with my schooling right now, some of it is quite fun and really a good education. I've just as a person fell over invested, it's time to start seeing some reward and making progress.
I know, part of it is silly . I'm working on training so that my progress at least makes some minor social difference instead of a profitable difference for some company who profits from the gouged costs of our health care system. (stupid biotech. hah.) I am scared of the potential lack of intellectual stimulation at least in biology side of leveling off while teaching high school biology, but overall excited to get to share knowledge and teach. So it's dumb for be to feel like i'm wasting my time or not progressing right now, but blows like this just keep coming and each time i'm less adapt to deal with them. My debt level freaks me out and I'm scared that despite being really aware of my money situation, i'm going to find myself in ruin anyway.
The thing that worries me most is that i've had this same post like half a dozen times in the last 5 years. Is this what life is going to be for me?