Daily at a yearly mark
'Twas the last day of school today. Strange isn't it? The year has come to an end. Not only that, my Junior College life has come to an end. And I feel nothing. Emotionless. It really was like it never really happened. Maybe it didn't really happen. I've never felt anything towards the school, not an ounce of loyalty, quite the opposite actually. And for the people whom I've meant along the way that I have found to be important to me, they're the people who won't fade away after JC anyway, a small but precious handfull. As for the rest, it was nice knowing them but I feel nothing to have them be discharged from my life.
Perhaps it's because I don't feel it, not now at least. Maybe in a few months, a few years, I'll realise how I should have stayed to the end of the farewell ceremony or sat with person B instead of in the corner by myself. Or how I should have made my schoolmates sign a farewell booklet to remember them by, but for now, I don't need that kind of memory. Perhaps JC life was meaningless to me asides from that particular handful of people. Perhaps it only made me more skeptical and cynical of the so-called 'real' world and jaded me. Making me closer to what I fear to be - an adult.
I'm overthinking this. I should be concentrating on the upcoming exams. Had Economics tuition today, was confusing. Anything to do with Economics is confusing. Need to study more and feel less. But feelings are inevitable, no? Especially for a person like me.
Perhaps it's because I don't feel it, not now at least. Maybe in a few months, a few years, I'll realise how I should have stayed to the end of the farewell ceremony or sat with person B instead of in the corner by myself. Or how I should have made my schoolmates sign a farewell booklet to remember them by, but for now, I don't need that kind of memory. Perhaps JC life was meaningless to me asides from that particular handful of people. Perhaps it only made me more skeptical and cynical of the so-called 'real' world and jaded me. Making me closer to what I fear to be - an adult.
I'm overthinking this. I should be concentrating on the upcoming exams. Had Economics tuition today, was confusing. Anything to do with Economics is confusing. Need to study more and feel less. But feelings are inevitable, no? Especially for a person like me.