FIC: Love Will Tear Us Apart, From There to Here, Daniel/Joanne, M (2/4)
Title: Love Will Tear Us Apart (2/4)
Author: rebelxxwaltz
Rating: M overall for sexual content.
Pairing: Daniel/Joanne
Summary: When emotions run high, mistakes and painful misunderstandings can so easily occur. One night, the tension in Daniel and Joanne's relationship becomes too much for either of them to handle.
Notes/Warnings: Spoilers for the entirety of From There to Here, at least broadly. This is set sometime during the scope of episode 3 (summer of 1999 to be exact). As you might guess from the summary this is not exactly War and Peace, more of an angst-ridden relationship exploration.
Word Count: Entire fic around 9,000, this chapter a little less than 1900. All parts are complete (yes really!) and will be posted in quick succession. ;D
Love Will Tear Us Apart
Part II
Joanne
Occasionally Joanne was reminded of the numerous reasons why she didn't have any close girlfriends.
She wasn't sure why she had accepted the invitation, but a night out had sounded nice. Different. A break from the routine and a distraction from the tangled mess that had become the status quo of her life. After a few hours, however? Piles of unfolded laundry set to a soundtrack of nursery rhymes began to sound oddly appealing.
It was laughable, really. The first portion of the evening was spent listening to her female work colleagues talk about how all men are shit. It was a topic with which Joanne had a monumental amount of experience, but she chose not to join in during the gratuitous sharing session over cheap wine and mediocre Italian food. Having one man leave you with two young boys to raise on your own was bad enough. She wasn't sure any of these 20-to-30-something girls- mainly concerned with the travesty and injustice of having boyfriends who refused to scrub a toilet or take out the trash- would even believe the bits about Daniel and his lying, double-life-leading, sweet-factory-owning betrayal.
The 'all men are arseholes' theme was strangely absent from the after-dinner half of proceedings, unceremoniously left behind in favor of a new 'let's try to shag anything in a pair of trousers' philosophy with which Joanne held even less truck (if that were possible). She needed another man hanging 'round like she needed a hole in the head, and an evening full of slightly desperate attempts at eye contact from the wheezy bloke two tables over created very little appeal.
Her original plan was to allow herself two vodka and lemonades. Once she had reached three Joanne knew the outlook was not going to improve upon a location switch from pub to crowded dance club, so she made her apologies and bundled into the back of a cab with a little buzz of warmth infusing her limbs.
Kicking off her uncomfortable heels less than half an hour later had seemed like absolute bliss in comparison to her attempts at a social life, even if it did mean she was home early enough that she would have to deal with Daniel when he arrived to drop Scarlet off. Sending a grateful Lee off to bed and flopping down onto the sofa, Joanne resolved to enjoy these few silent moments to herself, rare as such a luxury was, before the inevitable hell storm of emotions revisited her doorstep once again…
x
Daniel. She hated herself sometimes for thinking about him, but she still couldn't help it if she were honest. Hated herself almost as much as she tried to hate him, and sometimes more because of the fact that even after everything she still loved him anyway.
Joanne sighed as she recalled her own thoughts from earlier in the evening, how that traitorous part of her brain jumped to Daniel's defense so effortlessly when faced with such blanket statements about the shortcomings of men- Not him, her brain tried to say, he isn't like that. To which the more rational quadrant replied, Are you crazy?! Of course he is! Probably more than all the others, so stop being a soppy cow and just get on with things.
And that's what she had been doing, these past two years. Getting on with things, trying not to think too much, burying that love under careful layers of resentment and animosity. Still, seeing Daniel was always a wrench for all her better efforts. She could do it though; for Scarlet and her boys she could stay strong and keep the complications out of their lives.
The sound of the doorbell cut into Joanne's reverie, and her heart jumped into her throat. She was strong, yes, but her emotions were feeling a bit raw tonight. She steeled herself, intending to collect her daughter from Daniel with a minimum of fuss and then proceed to cry herself to sleep away from prying eyes…
x
God but he made a handsome picture, standing on her doorstep with a child - their child, she took pains to remind herself- held carefully against the solid bulk of his body. The incongruous masculinity and natural protectiveness of the scene were not lost on Joanne, and it was just one step further to remember how it felt to be held in that steady embrace herself. She shook her head to dislodge such thoughts, which could only be considered less than productive.
The non-verbal communication they chose to employ so as not to disturb Scarlet was similarly unhelpful, only drawing Joanne's attention to Daniel's eyes. Those eyes were the first thing she'd noticed about him on that fateful day, bright aquamarine even through the dust from the explosion, shining out of his face with attentive concern as he helped her navigate the rubble-strewn pavement.
She really, really needed to stop thinking about physical contact in any form, because the quiet immediacy of his presence was dredging up echoes of tender feelings Joanne wasn't capable of abandoning outright.
Hoping to make the rest of this encounter as painless as possible Joanne allowed Daniel to carry Scarlet up the stairs and put her to bed, foolishly failing to anticipate how the sight of him caring for their child so gently would tear at her heartstrings and make her long for the life they'd had- well, what they could have had if the whole world they had built together hadn't been a lie.
As he kissed Scarlet's forehead Joanne found herself struck by the simple truth that Daniel really did love their child and had always done right by her. In point of fact he wanted to do more, to see Scarlet more often and be a part of her life, and there were times where Joanne felt guilty for imposing certain restrictions on his access- Scarlet deserved all the love that both her parents could give her, and Joanne knew the little girl missed her father terribly at times. Still… it was hard to be understanding, to be the bigger person, after everything Daniel had put them through.
The hairs on the back of Joanne's neck stood on end, hyperaware of Daniel looking at her from the corner of his eye as they peered down at their daughter in a cruel approximation of two proud parents at the end of a long day. Awkward feelings aside there was a sense of peace and unusual calm without the typical snappish dialogue, without Ryan's ever-present anger lingering in the air to tarnish any small improvement to the fraught state of their relationship.
That was why she was offering him a cup of tea, she told herself. No other reason than that.
x
The moment their hands touched, Joanne knew she was in big trouble. There were already involuntary flutters in her abdomen just from knowing that he was jealous at the thought of her going out, maybe having a date, seeing someone else. The idea of him feeling entitled to those sentiments even after all this time caused a pang of anger, too, but realistically it only served to make her blood run hotter.
His comment about her appearance brought Joanne up short; although he had his moments of verbal clarity Daniel had always been more about actions than words, and hearing him call her beautiful with that undisguised note of longing in his voice paralyzed her to the point where she couldn't pull away from him no matter how much she knew she should.
"Daniel… don't."
She was close enough now to note his clean masculine scent, which only provided her slightly dazed mind with more powerful recollections of bare skin and heated encounters. Her eyes traveled to his face as his fingers stroked the back of her hand, and she could see the slight roughness from a day's growth of facial hair along the line of his jaw. Her palms itched to reach out and feel the familiar texture.
Don't, she thought, to herself and toward him.
Don't keep touching me, because it makes me want to touch you.
Don't get any closer, because I won't be able to push you away.
Don't make me feel like it's just you and me again, the way it always should have been, because I won't be able to let you go.
But it was too late; she knew it as soon as their eyes met, and felt it in the way Daniel's hands shook as he gathered her into his embrace and propelled her backward against the counter. Their bodies fit like puzzle pieces and the thrilling slide of his lips on hers was like a surprise party and a long-anticipated homecoming all rolled into one.
It had been so long since Joanne had kissed anyone, and longer still since she'd wanted to kiss anyone other than Daniel. He made a purring noise as she slid her tongue along the back of his top row of teeth, pressing one of his hands between her shoulder blades to draw her closer. She felt his maddeningly long eyelashes tickling her cheekbone as he tilted his head to further deepen the contact, and she wondered if she would ever want to kiss another man again in her life.
It was intense, almost overwhelming, and the solid feel of him against her as their foreheads touched had her mind racing ahead towards the inevitable. He gave her a chance to stop it, and she knew he was sincere- knew he would have left if she told him to, even if he knew it wasn't what she really wanted. And maybe that was what made the decision for Joanne more than anything else. The way he kissed the corner of her mouth, waited for her answer, left the choice entirely in her hands perhaps for the first time since the start of their relationship.
As she took Daniel's hand and led him upstairs Joanne's mind reeled, feeling empowered and slightly out of control, still not sure whether she had surrendered or he had capitulated or if it even mattered in the end. The only thing she was sure of was that she wanted him- and if she had any doubts about what the consequences might be, they were abandoned outside the bedroom door with a firm and satisfying 'click.'
GO TO PART III
xxxxx
Next bit should be up tomorrow! ;D
Author: rebelxxwaltz
Rating: M overall for sexual content.
Pairing: Daniel/Joanne
Summary: When emotions run high, mistakes and painful misunderstandings can so easily occur. One night, the tension in Daniel and Joanne's relationship becomes too much for either of them to handle.
Notes/Warnings: Spoilers for the entirety of From There to Here, at least broadly. This is set sometime during the scope of episode 3 (summer of 1999 to be exact). As you might guess from the summary this is not exactly War and Peace, more of an angst-ridden relationship exploration.
Word Count: Entire fic around 9,000, this chapter a little less than 1900. All parts are complete (yes really!) and will be posted in quick succession. ;D
Love Will Tear Us Apart
Part II
Joanne
Occasionally Joanne was reminded of the numerous reasons why she didn't have any close girlfriends.
She wasn't sure why she had accepted the invitation, but a night out had sounded nice. Different. A break from the routine and a distraction from the tangled mess that had become the status quo of her life. After a few hours, however? Piles of unfolded laundry set to a soundtrack of nursery rhymes began to sound oddly appealing.
It was laughable, really. The first portion of the evening was spent listening to her female work colleagues talk about how all men are shit. It was a topic with which Joanne had a monumental amount of experience, but she chose not to join in during the gratuitous sharing session over cheap wine and mediocre Italian food. Having one man leave you with two young boys to raise on your own was bad enough. She wasn't sure any of these 20-to-30-something girls- mainly concerned with the travesty and injustice of having boyfriends who refused to scrub a toilet or take out the trash- would even believe the bits about Daniel and his lying, double-life-leading, sweet-factory-owning betrayal.
The 'all men are arseholes' theme was strangely absent from the after-dinner half of proceedings, unceremoniously left behind in favor of a new 'let's try to shag anything in a pair of trousers' philosophy with which Joanne held even less truck (if that were possible). She needed another man hanging 'round like she needed a hole in the head, and an evening full of slightly desperate attempts at eye contact from the wheezy bloke two tables over created very little appeal.
Her original plan was to allow herself two vodka and lemonades. Once she had reached three Joanne knew the outlook was not going to improve upon a location switch from pub to crowded dance club, so she made her apologies and bundled into the back of a cab with a little buzz of warmth infusing her limbs.
Kicking off her uncomfortable heels less than half an hour later had seemed like absolute bliss in comparison to her attempts at a social life, even if it did mean she was home early enough that she would have to deal with Daniel when he arrived to drop Scarlet off. Sending a grateful Lee off to bed and flopping down onto the sofa, Joanne resolved to enjoy these few silent moments to herself, rare as such a luxury was, before the inevitable hell storm of emotions revisited her doorstep once again…
x
Daniel. She hated herself sometimes for thinking about him, but she still couldn't help it if she were honest. Hated herself almost as much as she tried to hate him, and sometimes more because of the fact that even after everything she still loved him anyway.
Joanne sighed as she recalled her own thoughts from earlier in the evening, how that traitorous part of her brain jumped to Daniel's defense so effortlessly when faced with such blanket statements about the shortcomings of men- Not him, her brain tried to say, he isn't like that. To which the more rational quadrant replied, Are you crazy?! Of course he is! Probably more than all the others, so stop being a soppy cow and just get on with things.
And that's what she had been doing, these past two years. Getting on with things, trying not to think too much, burying that love under careful layers of resentment and animosity. Still, seeing Daniel was always a wrench for all her better efforts. She could do it though; for Scarlet and her boys she could stay strong and keep the complications out of their lives.
The sound of the doorbell cut into Joanne's reverie, and her heart jumped into her throat. She was strong, yes, but her emotions were feeling a bit raw tonight. She steeled herself, intending to collect her daughter from Daniel with a minimum of fuss and then proceed to cry herself to sleep away from prying eyes…
x
God but he made a handsome picture, standing on her doorstep with a child - their child, she took pains to remind herself- held carefully against the solid bulk of his body. The incongruous masculinity and natural protectiveness of the scene were not lost on Joanne, and it was just one step further to remember how it felt to be held in that steady embrace herself. She shook her head to dislodge such thoughts, which could only be considered less than productive.
The non-verbal communication they chose to employ so as not to disturb Scarlet was similarly unhelpful, only drawing Joanne's attention to Daniel's eyes. Those eyes were the first thing she'd noticed about him on that fateful day, bright aquamarine even through the dust from the explosion, shining out of his face with attentive concern as he helped her navigate the rubble-strewn pavement.
She really, really needed to stop thinking about physical contact in any form, because the quiet immediacy of his presence was dredging up echoes of tender feelings Joanne wasn't capable of abandoning outright.
Hoping to make the rest of this encounter as painless as possible Joanne allowed Daniel to carry Scarlet up the stairs and put her to bed, foolishly failing to anticipate how the sight of him caring for their child so gently would tear at her heartstrings and make her long for the life they'd had- well, what they could have had if the whole world they had built together hadn't been a lie.
As he kissed Scarlet's forehead Joanne found herself struck by the simple truth that Daniel really did love their child and had always done right by her. In point of fact he wanted to do more, to see Scarlet more often and be a part of her life, and there were times where Joanne felt guilty for imposing certain restrictions on his access- Scarlet deserved all the love that both her parents could give her, and Joanne knew the little girl missed her father terribly at times. Still… it was hard to be understanding, to be the bigger person, after everything Daniel had put them through.
The hairs on the back of Joanne's neck stood on end, hyperaware of Daniel looking at her from the corner of his eye as they peered down at their daughter in a cruel approximation of two proud parents at the end of a long day. Awkward feelings aside there was a sense of peace and unusual calm without the typical snappish dialogue, without Ryan's ever-present anger lingering in the air to tarnish any small improvement to the fraught state of their relationship.
That was why she was offering him a cup of tea, she told herself. No other reason than that.
x
The moment their hands touched, Joanne knew she was in big trouble. There were already involuntary flutters in her abdomen just from knowing that he was jealous at the thought of her going out, maybe having a date, seeing someone else. The idea of him feeling entitled to those sentiments even after all this time caused a pang of anger, too, but realistically it only served to make her blood run hotter.
His comment about her appearance brought Joanne up short; although he had his moments of verbal clarity Daniel had always been more about actions than words, and hearing him call her beautiful with that undisguised note of longing in his voice paralyzed her to the point where she couldn't pull away from him no matter how much she knew she should.
"Daniel… don't."
She was close enough now to note his clean masculine scent, which only provided her slightly dazed mind with more powerful recollections of bare skin and heated encounters. Her eyes traveled to his face as his fingers stroked the back of her hand, and she could see the slight roughness from a day's growth of facial hair along the line of his jaw. Her palms itched to reach out and feel the familiar texture.
Don't, she thought, to herself and toward him.
Don't keep touching me, because it makes me want to touch you.
Don't get any closer, because I won't be able to push you away.
Don't make me feel like it's just you and me again, the way it always should have been, because I won't be able to let you go.
But it was too late; she knew it as soon as their eyes met, and felt it in the way Daniel's hands shook as he gathered her into his embrace and propelled her backward against the counter. Their bodies fit like puzzle pieces and the thrilling slide of his lips on hers was like a surprise party and a long-anticipated homecoming all rolled into one.
It had been so long since Joanne had kissed anyone, and longer still since she'd wanted to kiss anyone other than Daniel. He made a purring noise as she slid her tongue along the back of his top row of teeth, pressing one of his hands between her shoulder blades to draw her closer. She felt his maddeningly long eyelashes tickling her cheekbone as he tilted his head to further deepen the contact, and she wondered if she would ever want to kiss another man again in her life.
It was intense, almost overwhelming, and the solid feel of him against her as their foreheads touched had her mind racing ahead towards the inevitable. He gave her a chance to stop it, and she knew he was sincere- knew he would have left if she told him to, even if he knew it wasn't what she really wanted. And maybe that was what made the decision for Joanne more than anything else. The way he kissed the corner of her mouth, waited for her answer, left the choice entirely in her hands perhaps for the first time since the start of their relationship.
As she took Daniel's hand and led him upstairs Joanne's mind reeled, feeling empowered and slightly out of control, still not sure whether she had surrendered or he had capitulated or if it even mattered in the end. The only thing she was sure of was that she wanted him- and if she had any doubts about what the consequences might be, they were abandoned outside the bedroom door with a firm and satisfying 'click.'
GO TO PART III
xxxxx
Next bit should be up tomorrow! ;D