Full Circle part 4/?
Title: Full Circle
Pairing(s): A/O
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU-ish. Olivia’s mother loses custody of her when she is young. She either dies or someone learns about the abuse. She is then moved around a few times before she comes to stay with the Cabot’s. Because she has grown up in the system, she doesn’t trust easily. Alex tries to befriend her, but Olivia pushes her away. They grow up together, but never really get to know each other and lose touch when Olivia is old enough to leave.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Links to other stories
Amy and Olivia stayed up most of the night talking about Olivia’s problem. They finally decided that Olivia should interact with Alex as little as possible so as not to raise any suspicions of her newfound feelings. Amy also thought it would be a good idea if Olivia got out and met people. She decided that starting Friday nights they would make it a point of frequent some of the gay clubs in the area. She even went so far as to say that she would pose as Olivia’s girlfriend if the brunette received any unwanted attention.
Olivia wasn’t sure how much she really liked that idea, but knew she didn’t have a better one. She fell into an uneasy sleep and woke up feeling less rested then the night before. Unlike her usual overnight stays, Olivia wasn’t up for staying for breakfast. She made a hasty good-bye to Maxine and apologized for having to leave so early.
Although she was confused by the young girl’s behavior, Maxine knew better than to push either girl for information. She also knew that if it was important they would ask for her advice. Otherwise, they would come to her when they were ready. She just hoped it had nothing to do with problems for the Cabots.
The entire drive home, Olivia thought about some of the things Amy had suggested to her. She couldn’t imagine how awkward it could be between the two of them if they actually had to kiss each other let alone any other type of couple activity. Amy assured her that she would be fine with it, but that wasn’t even the part that bothered Olivia the most. Could she really go out and meet, much less date other people when she had such strong feelings for Alex? She knew that there was very little chance Alex would ever return feelings, even if she was gay. For some reason, Alex couldn’t stand Olivia, something she hoped to figure out soon. She didn’t have to really worry about that because Alex was your typical All-American girl. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a cheerleader, and dating the varsity quarterback, a very male varsity quarterback, even if she was only a sophomore. No, it was almost impossible for Alexandra Cabot to be gay, let alone fall in love with Olivia Benson. She pulled into the Cabots driveway knowing one thing was for sure: the best way to get over Alex would be to go through with Amy’s plan. She just prayed to whoever was listening that it worked.
She walked into the house and through to the kitchen, hoping no one would be awake this early. She was disappointed however when she saw that Sophie was sitting at the table with the morning paper and a cup of coffee. Olivia internally sighed, knowing the older woman would have at least some questions.
Sophie for her part was confused when she saw Olivia was already home. Usually when she spent the night at Amy’s, she wasn’t home until sometime after one in the afternoon. She looked at the clock again which confirmed it was still only just after eight. Thinking maybe she and Amy had a fight, Sophie prepared herself for what she hoped would be a chance to offer Olivia some help. In the four years Olivia had been with them, Sophie couldn’t remember once when the young girl had come to her or Nathan asking for advice. She wasn’t sure if she should be worried about Olivia being so independent or not. Her consolation was that Olivia’s choices were never bad, or without thought, so it eased her mind somewhat.
“Morning, Olivia,” she greeted the teen. “You’re home early.” She knew that something had to be on Olivia’s mind in order for her to be home at this hour. While raising two teenage girls had been easier than she expected, she still knew that she had to approach any kind of issue conversationally.
Olivia knew that Sophie thought there was something wrong. She also knew that she wasn’t ready to say what it was just yet. How do you tell your foster mother that you’re falling in love with her daughter? Knowing that definitely wasn’t a good idea, Olivia opted to just omit a few things in her explanation. “Yeah, I didn’t sleep very well last night for some reason,” she shrugged in response. “I was alert enough to make the drive home and I decided it wouldn’t be polite to fall asleep at the breakfast table, so I came home to see if I could sleep better here.”
As much as Sophie tried to hide it, Olivia could still see the flicker of disappointment flash across her features. Olivia knew how much Sophie wanted her to view her as a mother figure, and Olivia had tried. She wanted to let her in, but she didn’t know how. Olivia had never had someone who was exactly the mothering type while she was growing up. By the time she had come to stay with the Cabots she was already so dependent on herself, she just stayed with the families because the law said she had to. Maybe she’d try and figure out a way to let her in after she had gotten some decent rest. At the moment she was too tired.
She had just turned to leave the kitchen when she heard Sophie’s voice call her back. “Olivia?”
Turning around, Olivia answered. “Yeah, Sophie?”
“Do you think you’ll be able to give Alex a ride to her cheerleading fundraiser today?” Sophie asked. “Nathan or I would, but we have to attend some kind of event at Nathan’s office.”
As much as part of Olivia wanted to distance herself from the younger blonde at the moment, another parted wanted to spend time with her just as much, if not more. “Yeah, I can do that,” Olivia responded. “What time does she have to be there?”
Sophie smiled in response. She may not be able to get Olivia to open up to her, but she was always dependable, sometimes, it seemed, too dependable for a seventeen year old. “Not until noon, so you should be able to get some sleep before you have to leave.”
Olivia gave her a small smile, acknowledging the older woman’s consideration. Nodding her understanding, she once again made to leave the kitchen. She walked up to her room and collapsed onto her bed, not bothering to change back into pajamas. Figuring three more hours was better than nothing, she set her alarm for eleven and drifted off into a somewhat more restful sleep than she had the night before.
At least three hours had been the desired amount of time. Olivia had been lying awake for nearly thirty minutes by the time her alarm had gone off. At half past ten, Olivia had shot awake from an all too vivid dream. She knew that part of being a lesbian was sexual attraction to women, but she didn’t think dreams like that would happen so soon after realizing it. Every time she closed her eyes her dream had replayed in her mind.
Olivia opened the door to the bathroom, again not knocking or listening for sounds coming from within. The same scene as the day before stretched out in front of her, only this time she didn’t freak out and go running off to her room. Instead, she realized that just like her blonde companion already in the shower, she was also wearing nothing.
Taking a bold step forward, she opened the shower door. The sight greeting her was enough to take Olivia’s breath away. Alex was standing under the spray of the shower, blonde hair, wet and laying just below the shoulders. Olivia watched as the suds from the body wash cascaded down the blonde’s body.
Closing the door behind her, Olivia stepped up to the seemingly unsuspecting blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist. To her surprise, Alex didn’t tense at the touch. Instead she brought her own hands to cover Olivia’s.
Deciding to see where this will, go, Olivia began nuzzling the slightly shorter girls neck. Appreciating the attention, Alex tilted her head to the side, allowing the brunette better access. Taking this as permission to continue, Olivia began kissing along the contours of the neck and shoulders, occasionally accompanied by soft nibbles being soothed by a quick flick of the tongue.
Not being able to help herself, Olivia began to trail a hand up Alex’s torso. Her breathing started to become ragged as she neared what she imagined was a near perfect breast. Just as her fingers brushed the underside of the soft mound…Olivia bolted upright, not knowing if her shortness of breath was from the surprise of the dream, or the state it left her in.
Now, thirty minutes later, all calmed down, Olivia still lay thinking about what she had dreamt. She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or disappointed that it had been so short, or that it ended where it did. What she did know was she had no idea how she was going to face Alex without thinking if everything she had seen of the blonde’s body was real, or just images her mind had conjured.
Taking a deep breath, Olivia got out of bed and ready to face the inevitable. She took off her now wrinkled t-shirt and tossed it into her laundry hamper. She grabbed a random tank top out of her dresser, a black one, and pulled it on. Picking up her dark grey zip-up hooded sweatshirt, she left her room and went down stairs in search of Alex. Hearing sounds coming from the kitchen, Olivia decided to start there. However she was not prepared for the sight in front of her.
Alex was standing in front of the open refrigerator in a pair of short jean shorts, a pale pink tank top and what appeared to be her bikini top. The tied strings were visible on the blonde’s neck. Thankful the younger girl had not been alerted to her presence yet, Olivia took a moment to compose herself.
Taking another deep breath, Olivia greeted the blonde. “Hey Alex, ready to go?”
Startling slightly, Alex turned and glared in the brunette’s direction. “Did you have to sneak up on me like that?”
Hiding her amusement, Olivia stared back. “I thought her heard me coming, sorry,” she responded in a tone that said she was anything but.
“Yeah right, Olivia. I’ve never been able to hear you coming. You walk lighter than a damn ghost. Someone would think you were training to be a cop or something.”
Although Olivia had to admit that the sight of an angry Alexandra Cabot sent pleasant shivers through her, she didn’t want to start an argument just for the sake of having one. After all, she did still have to live in the same house as her. “Whatever, Alex. Are you ready to go or not?”
“Yeah,” Alex sighed. “If we don’t leave now I’ll be late anyway.” She took a small bottle of orange juice out of the fridge, closed it and walked out of the kitchen, Olivia close behind. They both walked out to Olivia’s car and got in.
“Where exactly am I taking you?” Olivia asked, suddenly remembering no one had told her where this fundraiser was taking place.
“Just the high school parking lot. We’re doing a carwash to raise money for new uniforms,” Alex explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Olivia rolled her eyes, but didn’t respond. She started the car, pulled out of the driveway, and started in the direction of the high school. Both teens were content to make the short trip in silence, either not wanting to talk or not sure what to say. When they arrived at the school, Alex was already in the process of exiting the car when the sound of Olivia’s voice made her pause.
“Do you need me to pick you up?” Olivia asked.
For some reason the question confused Alex. Olivia had never willingly played chauffeur for her, why was she so willing to now? “No,” she replied hesitantly. “I’m getting a ride home with Connie.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later then,” Olivia said. She watched as Alex got out of the car with the confused look still firmly in place. She couldn’t help but smile as she made her way back home. Alex was even cute when she was confused. However, that smile was soon replaced by a frown. Amy was right. She had to do something to get rid of her feelings for straight housemate. Starting Friday night, she would start going out to see what else was out there.