Theres only us, theres only this!
We begin on a warm Spring Day, with me, Aldrich, my brother Brennard, my friend Harold and his friend Amy. We are in front of the Nederlander Theatre waiting for the Rush to begin. We are hoping to win tickets for our favorite Broadway Show, Rent. It's hot, I've been running around all day and I'm a little irritated, but everyone hushes and it begins...
Smile!
Sorry I couldn't help it. It just seemed a great way to start this LJ post. Yes that is how the saga of me in Rent started though. Now the rest of the story!
It did start with us rushing to get Rent tickets on April 26th 2008, which Brennard once again won. His record on Rushing is phenomenal. I'm convinced it has to do with his shitty hand writing. Any way I saw Rent for what was the 7th time that night. Harold and his friend Amy hadn't seen it yet, and since it was closing I figured it would be the right show to see, especially since I know how to get cheap tickets. We saw the show and the cast was on that night. It was the last night I saw Tamayra Grey perform and the first time I saw Adam Kantor perform. It was good and they had a lot of energy and excitement that night. Anyway after the show was over, they had us sit down and explained to us that they are part of an organization that helps raises money for AIDS research. The group is called Broadway Cares. Well they were holding a silent auction that had several prizes and that all the winning bids would be donated towards a great cause. One of the prizes was a walk on role in the show, so I placed a bid. I wanted to help out this cause, and I also hoped I would win.
...about a week later...
I was home waiting for my parents to come home from the Philippines. My brother and sister went to pick them up from the airport that night. Since I came home late that day I figured I'd stay home, work out and try to get things together a little before they arrived. In the middle of my workout, I get a call from a NY number. I was a little pissed because I thought it was work. Lo and behold, it was the director of Rent. He asked me if my bid was serious. I of course said, yes! He then congratulated me on being in Rent! I was so speechless. I didn't know how to react. I guess he was hoping for a little more excitement, but I was just so stunned, I had no idea what to think. He gave me a few items to look out for and said the next person to contact me would be the producer. He said good night and we ended our conversation. Shortly after, Brennard and Alex arrived. So after my welcoming my parent’s home, I told my siblings. Man, I've never seen Alex so happy in her life, she was beyond ecstatic. Brennard as well, I think all 3 of us just couldn't believe it. Now was the hardest part of all this.
... 2 and a half torturous weeks pass...
Still no word from the production company. I was going crazy, getting nervous that this was some elaborate hoax to fuck with me. Then my sister calls me on a Monday morning, right before lunch. An envelope had arrived from the Production Company for the Nederlander Theatre. It was the official paper congratulating and asking for several details from me. I felt so light headed. It was done; I'm officially going to be in Rent at this point. So I emailed the production company the moment I got home. A few days later the producer calls me to personally congratulate me and we discussed a few things, like the date of my show, special requests and tickets. His name was Nick Kaledin. He was a nice man and was very helpful. We talked a few more times over the course of a week nailing out details, including getting my brother and sister backstage to see the show. They were super excited I made the effort and they were beyond thrilled to get to see Rent from behind the scenes. Well I was going on vacation after this ,so I figure I could relax and practice while I was traveling around the country. Before I left though I had sent out an email asking how many tickets everyone wanted for my show.
...2 weeks of vacations pass on...
Funny, I was very relaxed during vacation, except for the whole organizing the tickets for my show. For some reason, some people thought that they would tell me how to do things instead of answering my questions. It was ok though. After much stress, I got things together and organize the tickets easily for everyone. After that I spent the 2 weeks practicing and preparing for my debut. I borrowed a keyboard from Wira (Then) to isolate some sections of the songs I had to sing. Thanks Wira, you were a key part of my performance so I appreciate that. I also had to borrow some Camo Pants from Justin. I appreciate it man, without those pants, I wouldn't have looked like the Rock Star I wanted to be.
I just practiced and practiced with help from Alex and Brennard. They really helped me get things together so I couldn't have been ready without them most definitely. I'll be honest, I really wasn't nervous for the show. I was more nervous about things going smoothly the day of!
...so 2 weeks are gone after vacation and now it's the day of the performance...
The day had arrived. I woke up about 9, I was nervous, just not for the performance though. My friend Mathilde's flight was delayed coming in from Atlanta, and every time I checked it, it just kept getting delayed. I was afraid they would delay it all the way into the afternoon, making it difficult for me to pick her and Anne-Sophie up. I then spent that morning continuing to practice while waiting for Mathilde's flight to take off. FINALLY it lifted off. So I got my costume together, some paper work and I was out the door. I arrived just in time, a little earlier than when they landed. I met with Mathilde at the gate. I did meet Anne-Sophie for the first time there in LaGuardia. It was nice to see Mathilde again, since I just saw her a few weeks ago in Atlanta. So we grabbed their bags and were off for 41st street.
Of course the second snag hits. Alwin calls me while I was driving, saying that the tickets aren't under everyone's name like I planned. He took two tickets under my name. Well I couldn't solve it till I got to the theatre so, about half an hour later, I got into the city and parked in the lot right next to the Nederlander. Walked up and asked for my tickets, which were now two tickets short because Alwin took mine in confusion. I asked for Alwin Ventura's tickets and sure enough they found it. I guess the staff at the box office that helped Alwin was a bit confused. With that crisis solved, I went shopping with Mathilde and Anne Sophie till it was close to Rush time.
At 5:15 I left Mathilde and Anne Sophie at FAO Schwartz and made my way to the theatre. When I arrived, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Jen Punsal, Alex, Brennard, and Konrad were there. Behind them came Bob, Dana, Justin, Kristin, Jen Yu, and Albert. After them Phil and his sister showed. We all throw in our names for Rent's rush. In the end 3 of us got our names pulled, unfortunately Phil's sister didn't know about the photo id thing so she lost hers. Still we walked out with 4 rush tickets, and were the loudest group ever at a rush (or so I assume)!!!
...There's Only Us, There's Only This...
Then came the big moment, going back stage to really begin my Rent experience. My brother, sister and I walked past the box office, past the doors to the stage and go into the staff only hall. It's like a back alley, but at the end is a door that says stage door. I walk past and it opens to a tiny hallway. There I met the stage manager Crystal who was so nice! She took me on a tour of the backstage. We started with the hallway between the stage and wardrobe. There, sitting on the wall was a plaque that says "Thank You Johnathan Larson." This was made by the original company, and it has hung there since opening night. Everyone touches it as they pass by to go on stage for luck. We then walked upstairs and I saw the tiny space they all share as their own personal wardrobe room. It's crazy how little space they have to work with to get ready, considering the many costumes they wear. We then went to below stage and it was weird, because it felt like a basement, but they have a lot going on underneath the stage. They have 3 other wardrobe areas down there to help them get ready between scene changes. They also have a small green room with some vending machines and coffee. Funny enough, Jay Wilkerson (he would go on to play Gordon and the Man that night) had celebrated his baby shower that day, so there was food from the party sitting there. We saw Justin Johnston’s (Angel) dressing table where he applies his makeup. It was definitely a busy table. After the quick downstairs tour, I went to wardrobe. Angela Wendt took a look at what I brought and was ok with my Rockport shoes and the Camo Pants Justin lent me, but she wasn't feeling the shirts. She whipped out a nice rocker T with undershirt and I looked the part, full out Rock Star!!! I was so impressed with what Angela put together, but that's probably why she won a Tony. Right after this, I get brought upstairs for a quick stage tour. They showed me on stage, and then behind the stage and how everything works. It's amazing what they go through every night to make it work. A director from stage right, lights everywhere getting ready to go. They have such tight spaces they run through in the back. It's tighter than most narrow hallways. Articles of costume waiting to be picked up or changed on the fly. It takes a lot to make this show look so smooth without a delay. I'll later see it in practice. We went upstairs to the landing where Renee Goldsberry (Mimi) does "Out Tonight." I’m shocked in the 12 years it has been on Broadway, not one person has been severely injured and that only one person had an accident (which they recovered from without missing a beat.).
As we were touring, Will Chase (Roger) was doing his exercises on the Landing where "Life Support" occurs. He said hi and continued with his drills. We walked down, finished the tour and we waited around while the rest of the cast trickled in so we can do a dress rehearsal of my scenes. We talked a bit about the history and things that had happened at the theatre. I was then fitted for a Mic, and was set for my Rehearsal.
We then went upstairs and we went over the cues I had to go over. The hardest thing I had to learn was to say my name (funny how that works right?). The problem is I have to say my name between Pam and Ally, but there is no name in there usually. I have to say it so that I don't miss a beat, because they can't slow down the song for me, but say it clearly enough so it doesn't come out poorly. The rest of the cues were easy. First was to sit, then sing, "There's only us..." At the end of the first line Adam Kantor (Mark) stumbles onto stage, which I then react to naturally. We then sing "Forget regret..." at the end of that line, Jay (Gordon) interrupts us saying he doesn't agree with us. I then look up at the second exit sign, pretending to be looking at Jay (Gordon) instead and contemplating his words. When he finishes, we then look at each other and sing "No other road..." and it fades to black as Renee (Mimi) begins "Out Tonight." We then sit around and wait for "Another Day" (my favorite song in the whole show) to begin and get to the mid point where Renee (Mimi) and Will (Roger) begin yelling at each other in harmony, while the Life support Group begins to sing to Will (Roger) in an artistic moment where they support Renee (Mimi) and remind Will (Roger) that he is dying and he only has so much time to be loved again. We then stand up a little bit after we begin singing in the song and move to the railing looking down at them. After the last line we all hug each other and freeze. A lot to remember in so little time right? The last part is running down the stairs, which are steep as all hell. I was glad I didn't injure myself on those steps.
While the director walked me through this, Brennard and Alex got to live out their dreams and act out some of Rent while waiting for us to finish. Funny enough Will Chase saw and heard them. When he came down from his exercises, he approached the stage director and me and had said something to the effect of, "You guys going to act out the whole thing? Hey we should send them in as replacements, you won't need me tonight." He was obviously referencing Alex and Brennard. I laughed and replied, "If you want, I know everyone of your queues. I can replace you as Roger." He smiled and said, "It's yours!" and began to walk away which I sort of laughed to. He obviously was joking but it was nice to know how nice and fun loving they are. So The Stage Director then called everyone for Life Support to do the full Dress Rehearsal Run through. Up comes Tracy McDowell, Telly Leung, Crystal Hall, Andrea Gross, Shawn Earl, Justin Johnston, Michael McElroy, Jay Wilkerson, Adam Kantor, Renee Goldsberry and Will Chase (Who technically was already there). Talk about shock and awe, it was so nice to meet all of them, but we ran right into the beginning of Life Support. We got setup and ran through it. After we all said our names and sat down, the director said stop and to run it from the top, but from the seats. I did it, I fucked up my name, so I said it louder and slower this time, which was much better. We then went through the rest of the dress rehearsal. The rest I basically didn't screw up. They were all nice. We chatted for a bit and then they went to get ready for the show. Tracy and Andrea basically kept me stress free and said they'd make sure to take care of me during the cues. Technically they had to help me, because Tracy was in front of me in the group and Andrea was setup behind me. I finally got to tell Adam he's an awesome Mark, which he was grateful for. The rest of the group I had chatted quickly with as they needed to get in costume and make up.
At this point Brennard and Alex had to step off stage and take their seats as people would begin filing in. I went down stairs, grabbed my mouth wash, rinsed my mouth out and just got myself composed and focused. I went into the green room and sat in a corner seat to just go over my entire part in my head. I sat there for a few minutes before Trisha Jeffery (She's the understudy for Joanne and would have performed that night, but she had a headache and Maia Wilson covered for her) walked over and asked me what I was doing in the dunce chair. I was a bit embarrassed trying to explain to her I'm just rolling through my performance tonight in my head so I could perform flawlessly. She smiled and told me get out of there and sit with them. She then chatted with me and a few of the other stage hands. Meanwhile this entire time, Eden Espinosa was passed out on one of the couches in the green room. At 15 minutes to curtain, she snapped up and walked out to go into costume. It was funny to see, because I was shocked at how clock like it seemed. At 5 minutes to Curtain, Andrea, Tracy, Telly and Jay had come down and chilled in the green room. We continued to talk and chat until places. I then went upstairs and took my place at the seat to the left (stage right) of the Band area. I saw Jen Yu, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting there in front row! I was looking for others but it was hard to see before the show started. Then I heard the words go, from Crystal the stage manager behind me, and it began...
...Lets Begin...
Adam (Mark) ran on stage and said, “We begin…” right after the applause died from the crowd. Here it was, me as part of the cast instead of a spectator. I wasn't nervous but thrilled. I was so excited, I've come all this way and here I am on Broadway. True I'm not really an actor or whatever, but this was beyond insanity for me. The first act rolled along and I was sitting there on the wings just experiencing it right in front of me. Crazy part was, the entire time, I can hear Crystal behind me calling out lights and places, then saying go and seeing it happen right before my eyes. It's crazy how much is going on behind the scenes just to make things work. I had people running past and around me getting to places and then going. They were just everywhere. In the middle of "You'll See" I was pulled to put on my Mic and get ready for my big debut. I watched "Tango: Maureen" from behind a screen where the door to the apartment is (In stage right, upstage). It was so cool, it's like a kid sneaking a peak of the show, yet I'm right there on stage! Towards the end, the crew for Life Support comes upstairs and Tracy grabs my hand to drag me to the staircase below the landing for Life Support. Adam (Mark) and Maia (Joanne) gave out their last lines and the theatre went dark and then lit up again and we all walked up. I stepped up and said my name... Loud, crisply and clearly... otherwise perfectly. As I walked to my seat, I could see out into the crowd and it was a bit awe inspiring to realize that all these people were here... watching us the cast perform! As I sat, the idea of my family and friends out there watching me and the thought of just being in Rent made me so happy. Everyone pointed this out after the show, saying I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. Michael (Collins) was the last one up, so then Shaun said those famous words "Let's Begin." We all then in unison sang and.. My god, to hear all their voices work with mine was mind blowing. It was exhilarating to hear them, and they were just so loud and beautiful, I was left in a sense of wonderment around them. Adam (Mark) came up next and did his awkward entrance, which I reacted by being confused and then laughing (which I've always wanted to do and usually how I act it when I'm listening to the song). He sat and we continued the affirmation. Next Jay (Gordon) interrupted us and voiced his concern about his AIDS. I turned and stared at that second exit sign. I tried my best to pretend he was there, talking to us and I felt I was spot on, minus all the smiling like an idiot. In my mind I just kept thinking, act like you’re contemplating, but I guess I couldn't stop that happy feeling. After Jay finished his lines, we all turned to each other and remind Jay that, there is only us, there is only this... and as we are singing this, Shaun comes over and puts his hands around my back and then Andrea and Crystal do the same, as if we were all in this life support group together. There was only us in my mind. This normally doesn't happen in the show, so it was amazing they did that to calm me down a bit, it was such a great feeling. At that moment I felt like I was part of the Rent family!!! There was no way I couldn't stop smiling after that, I felt like such a kid, in the biggest candy store in the world. As the song died, the lights killed and Renee (Mimi) began "Out Tonight." We all sat there in the dark. My direction was to just freeze for the most part and everyone did the same. Justin (Angel) had taken his coat partially off cause I'm sure it's hot in the Santa Coat. The song closed, silence, then Will (Roger) began with those vicious words, "Who do you think you are..." and so we continued to wait in quiet silence and stillness. Then after 2 back and forth's, we come in to sing to them..."I can't control, my destiny. I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be." Will (Roger) counters, asking Renee (Mimi) to just let him be, so we stand and begin singing to Roger that there is no day but today. I've always wanted to do this, this is why I love Another Day. There is so much emotion and feeling and rawness to the song. I want to do Rogers part and I've always wanted to sing to Roger to tell him to forget regret. Here I was living out one of my dreams. It felt so amazing to be on stage. I didn't care about my smile anymore because this song is about telling Roger to let go. So I just let my emotion and voice out and sang as loud and clearly as I could. We sang the last, "No Day but Today..." we on the Life Support stage hugged each other and I froze in a group hug with Tracy, Andrea, and Crystal and held places till the lights died. Then we ran down to landing as, "Will I" began. I was a bit afraid of falling but, I made it down safely and I had to run all the way across back stage from stage right to stage left to have my microphone removed. They took it off quickly and I was able to watch "Santa Fe" from stage left wing. It was a full view and so cool to see it from. I was in a view where I could just jump right in and be a part of it all again. When Santa Fe was over, I went down stairs and went back to my seat near the orchestra on stage right. I watched the rest of the first act from here, including "La Vie Boehme," which was a treat to see it so close from the angle I was in. Then the first act ended and everyone went downstairs or to their dressing rooms. I went down with them and hung out in the green room. Tracy, Trisha the mic people, Kyle Post, and Telly hung out there for most of the break. I talked to them just chilled. Kyle just got the iPhone 3g and he was showing it off to Telly. Tracy was sitting next to me. Her, some of the sound staff and I had a discussion about Pocahontas, Spiders and NJ. That killed up most of the break. I ran upstairs to take my seat, and right before I get there, Crystal, the Stage Manager introduced me to a special visitor that night... WILSON JAMES HEREDIA!!!!! He was the original Angel!!! THAT WAS SO CRAZY! I'll tell you what, that proved this was the best night of my life.
...Seasons of Love...
As I sat, I saw Jen, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting again front row. It brought a smile to my face again, knowing all my friends were there. I then tried to look harder for everyone, and I saw Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sitting on the far right side of the theatre. I was definitely happy at this point knowing that they could make it all the way from France to see my once in a life time moment. I just tried soaking this all in as the entire cast walked on for the shows iconic song. They began..."525,600 Minutes, 525,600 moments so dear..." and I tried just soaking it in, but it was so hard not to at least sing under my breath on the wings. I looked out and you can see a handful of other people out in the crowd mouthing it with me. By right before the solo parts I was in full swing singing under my breathe, and by the time the solos were done, I was clapping along and just in full motion as if I was one of the cast. It was moving to be there on the sides like that. The rest of the show went on, and it was just nuts being there. By the time Contact ended, and I'll Cover You (reprise) began, it just all came flooding on me. That song always makes me cry. All the thoughts of the people I lost this year, the family and friends who are here, and those who have gone in years past just watching me tonight just brought out so much more emotion on me. I cried my tears as Michael (Collins) sang through his ballad and the song came to a close. I composed myself as Halloween began and then I was able to witness Goodbye Love from a unique position. It was dawning on me that this was the end, but that I had one more moment to take in.
...No Day but Today...
Rene (Mimi) comes back from the dead and they sing about how there is no day but today one more time. They take in Mimi's second chance and their memory of Angel overwhelms them and then the company minus Justin (Angel) joins them on stage and then Justin joins them. The song ends and they take their final bows, giving credit to the band, crew and each other and then they run off. I had stood up from my seat at this time and waited on the wings. They ran off, and Michael grabbed my hand and brought me out to center stage and we all grabbed hands and bowed. I'll tell you seeing the entire crowd on its feet... oh man that was so intense. Then the entire company but me stepped back and allowed me to take my own bow and gave me what felt like hours on stage to bow, wave at everyone and take in my last moments on Broadway. I just looked around at them and could see their smiles and the smiles of all my friends and family out in the crowd. That brought an amount of joy I couldn't fathom. I had planned to point to the company and the band and to everyone in the crowd as a tribute to them for this night... but I was just so overwhelmed by it all. It was all just so much at that moment, too many feelings, and too many emotions. Finally they grabbed my hand and we bowed and ran off stage. I then rushed down stairs to change so I can get my picture taken with the cast as they all left.
...Out Tonight...
I changed as fast as I could so I could get my picture with the cast. I had to do that because the cast changes fast and tries to get out as fast as they can to get home, or so I was warned. By the time I got upstairs, Justin and Michael had left already, but thankfully I already had pictures with them from previous shows. I got upstairs and there was Wilson Heredia again, so I walked out to the lobby area to just outside the stage. Alex, Brennard, Mom, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie was waiting there. I of course turn to Alex and say look who it is. She freaked when she saw Wilson and then we took a picture. Next Eden came down and Wilson literally swept her off her feet, which took Eden by surprise. While Eden and Wilson caught up, Tracy came down next so I took a picture with her. She was totally cool and she definitely made it easy for me to feel like one of the Rent family. Once Eden finished catching up with Wilson, I took a picture with her. God, such a powerful voice for Maureen. She seemed a bit methodical that night, but it still seemed like she was having fun. Still though Take me or Leave me... it was so chilling to listen to because she just killed it. Next Telly came down. Glad he could be in the show, since the family and I have seen him in a ton of performances and it was great he could be here. Then Will came down. He gave a wonderful performance that night, second only to the times I saw Adam Pascal perform, but of course Adam originated the role so it's hard to compare. Still, it was a great performance and perfect for my night, so I took a picture with him next. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie were smitten by him so they had to have a picture with him next. They practically jumped him after he took a picture with me =P. Marcus came down next. Great guy and was very supportive of me, even though we didn't have a scene together. Plus he's always awesome as the leader Christmas Caroler. Rodney followed up after him. He does such a great job as Benny and he's also such a great guy. He was very supportive of me and it was so nice to hear coming from one of the original cast (yeah original cast). Adam was next in line, and he did a sweet job that night as Mark. His voice isn't the best Mark, but I love how he acts out Mark, he's perfectly awkward as Mark should be. Maia, who was AWESOME as Joanne that night. She gave me the biggest hug and gave me the sweetest words. It was so nice to hear from one of the cast. Finally Renee was the last one who came down. She had a lot to live up to in my mind since I loved Tamayra Grey as Mimi, but she was on that night. It was great to see the glitter come from Mimi's hair again and she was the perfect foil for Will's Roger. It really brought the emotion out of Roger and Mimi and I was so glad they had that chemistry on stage!!! Well, there was one thing left to do sign the wall, the wall that every cast member has signed. I picked my spot and left my mark. It was... bittersweet for me. This completed the whole event, I was official part of Rent history!!! I didn't want it to end, but signing that wall officially brought it to a close. Alex, Brennard, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sign it as well. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie are the two people who have come from the furthest place (France) to sign the wall. I said my goodbyes to the rest of the crew and left the Nederlander for what might be the last time (at least for a Rent performance.). What came next was something I think was a little to movie perfect. I figured everyone would be standing outside just waiting for me, so I thought I'd just come busting out singing "No Day but Today." but I was in for an even bigger shock. I stepped out and there were all my friends, standing around, just yelling and screaming treating me like I was a superstar. It really touched me to have them do that for me. It really sealed the night for me, to have my family by my side at my performance and to have my friends to support till the end. Having Sam run up to me, giving me a hug and seeing everyone's faces just cheering for me and just acting like I was a star, just moved me so much. It gave me a sense of bliss, something that I don't think can be topped for a long time. It was such a whirlwind just exiting to that, circling around and see the faces, it was just too much for me. What made it even crazier was having just a random audience member ask me for my autograph. That was just insane all in itself. I just couldn't believe someone I didn't know wanted my autograph!!! We all hung around for a while talking about the show, then we began dispersing, some going for home and some going for D&B. I joined the D&B crew for a quick drink and food before taking Mathilde and Anne-Sophie home.
To sum it all up, when Dana and I were discussing that night, the quote, "This is the greatest thing I have done, and probably ever will do. I doubt my own wedding could ever top this feeling," really explains the feeling I had for that night. It was the most amazing experience and I won't forget that night for years to come.
In the end, I just have to thank my family for supporting me and putting up with my inequities so that I could arrive to that night and perform with all my heart. Thank You Alex, Brennard, Mom and Dad for being there for me that night and in my life!
Thank my friends for being so supporting and wonderful enough to come out to see me. It means a lot that they could take time out of their busy lives to see my moment in the sun. Thank you, Justin, Bob, Dana, Albert, Sam, Emily, Konrad, Jen P, Brad, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Alwin, Camille, Nina, Kristin, Phi, Phil, Reggie, Ivan, Joe, Jen Yu, Anne-Sophie, Mathilde for being there that night. It meant a lot to see all your faces there cheering for me, especially because I know a lot of you traveled from so many different and far off places to be there.
To the entire Company of Rent for giving me the opportunity to do this, to help me get ready for it and for helping me on stage be the best I could be that night.
And, Thank you Jonathan Larson, for writing something that has touched my life and touched so many others.
Photo's can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/photos.php?id=707174734#/album.php?aid=29410&id=707174734
If this link fails, please post a comment and will post alternate location.
Smile!
Sorry I couldn't help it. It just seemed a great way to start this LJ post. Yes that is how the saga of me in Rent started though. Now the rest of the story!
It did start with us rushing to get Rent tickets on April 26th 2008, which Brennard once again won. His record on Rushing is phenomenal. I'm convinced it has to do with his shitty hand writing. Any way I saw Rent for what was the 7th time that night. Harold and his friend Amy hadn't seen it yet, and since it was closing I figured it would be the right show to see, especially since I know how to get cheap tickets. We saw the show and the cast was on that night. It was the last night I saw Tamayra Grey perform and the first time I saw Adam Kantor perform. It was good and they had a lot of energy and excitement that night. Anyway after the show was over, they had us sit down and explained to us that they are part of an organization that helps raises money for AIDS research. The group is called Broadway Cares. Well they were holding a silent auction that had several prizes and that all the winning bids would be donated towards a great cause. One of the prizes was a walk on role in the show, so I placed a bid. I wanted to help out this cause, and I also hoped I would win.
...about a week later...
I was home waiting for my parents to come home from the Philippines. My brother and sister went to pick them up from the airport that night. Since I came home late that day I figured I'd stay home, work out and try to get things together a little before they arrived. In the middle of my workout, I get a call from a NY number. I was a little pissed because I thought it was work. Lo and behold, it was the director of Rent. He asked me if my bid was serious. I of course said, yes! He then congratulated me on being in Rent! I was so speechless. I didn't know how to react. I guess he was hoping for a little more excitement, but I was just so stunned, I had no idea what to think. He gave me a few items to look out for and said the next person to contact me would be the producer. He said good night and we ended our conversation. Shortly after, Brennard and Alex arrived. So after my welcoming my parent’s home, I told my siblings. Man, I've never seen Alex so happy in her life, she was beyond ecstatic. Brennard as well, I think all 3 of us just couldn't believe it. Now was the hardest part of all this.
... 2 and a half torturous weeks pass...
Still no word from the production company. I was going crazy, getting nervous that this was some elaborate hoax to fuck with me. Then my sister calls me on a Monday morning, right before lunch. An envelope had arrived from the Production Company for the Nederlander Theatre. It was the official paper congratulating and asking for several details from me. I felt so light headed. It was done; I'm officially going to be in Rent at this point. So I emailed the production company the moment I got home. A few days later the producer calls me to personally congratulate me and we discussed a few things, like the date of my show, special requests and tickets. His name was Nick Kaledin. He was a nice man and was very helpful. We talked a few more times over the course of a week nailing out details, including getting my brother and sister backstage to see the show. They were super excited I made the effort and they were beyond thrilled to get to see Rent from behind the scenes. Well I was going on vacation after this ,so I figure I could relax and practice while I was traveling around the country. Before I left though I had sent out an email asking how many tickets everyone wanted for my show.
...2 weeks of vacations pass on...
Funny, I was very relaxed during vacation, except for the whole organizing the tickets for my show. For some reason, some people thought that they would tell me how to do things instead of answering my questions. It was ok though. After much stress, I got things together and organize the tickets easily for everyone. After that I spent the 2 weeks practicing and preparing for my debut. I borrowed a keyboard from Wira (Then) to isolate some sections of the songs I had to sing. Thanks Wira, you were a key part of my performance so I appreciate that. I also had to borrow some Camo Pants from Justin. I appreciate it man, without those pants, I wouldn't have looked like the Rock Star I wanted to be.
I just practiced and practiced with help from Alex and Brennard. They really helped me get things together so I couldn't have been ready without them most definitely. I'll be honest, I really wasn't nervous for the show. I was more nervous about things going smoothly the day of!
...so 2 weeks are gone after vacation and now it's the day of the performance...
The day had arrived. I woke up about 9, I was nervous, just not for the performance though. My friend Mathilde's flight was delayed coming in from Atlanta, and every time I checked it, it just kept getting delayed. I was afraid they would delay it all the way into the afternoon, making it difficult for me to pick her and Anne-Sophie up. I then spent that morning continuing to practice while waiting for Mathilde's flight to take off. FINALLY it lifted off. So I got my costume together, some paper work and I was out the door. I arrived just in time, a little earlier than when they landed. I met with Mathilde at the gate. I did meet Anne-Sophie for the first time there in LaGuardia. It was nice to see Mathilde again, since I just saw her a few weeks ago in Atlanta. So we grabbed their bags and were off for 41st street.
Of course the second snag hits. Alwin calls me while I was driving, saying that the tickets aren't under everyone's name like I planned. He took two tickets under my name. Well I couldn't solve it till I got to the theatre so, about half an hour later, I got into the city and parked in the lot right next to the Nederlander. Walked up and asked for my tickets, which were now two tickets short because Alwin took mine in confusion. I asked for Alwin Ventura's tickets and sure enough they found it. I guess the staff at the box office that helped Alwin was a bit confused. With that crisis solved, I went shopping with Mathilde and Anne Sophie till it was close to Rush time.
At 5:15 I left Mathilde and Anne Sophie at FAO Schwartz and made my way to the theatre. When I arrived, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Jen Punsal, Alex, Brennard, and Konrad were there. Behind them came Bob, Dana, Justin, Kristin, Jen Yu, and Albert. After them Phil and his sister showed. We all throw in our names for Rent's rush. In the end 3 of us got our names pulled, unfortunately Phil's sister didn't know about the photo id thing so she lost hers. Still we walked out with 4 rush tickets, and were the loudest group ever at a rush (or so I assume)!!!
...There's Only Us, There's Only This...
Then came the big moment, going back stage to really begin my Rent experience. My brother, sister and I walked past the box office, past the doors to the stage and go into the staff only hall. It's like a back alley, but at the end is a door that says stage door. I walk past and it opens to a tiny hallway. There I met the stage manager Crystal who was so nice! She took me on a tour of the backstage. We started with the hallway between the stage and wardrobe. There, sitting on the wall was a plaque that says "Thank You Johnathan Larson." This was made by the original company, and it has hung there since opening night. Everyone touches it as they pass by to go on stage for luck. We then walked upstairs and I saw the tiny space they all share as their own personal wardrobe room. It's crazy how little space they have to work with to get ready, considering the many costumes they wear. We then went to below stage and it was weird, because it felt like a basement, but they have a lot going on underneath the stage. They have 3 other wardrobe areas down there to help them get ready between scene changes. They also have a small green room with some vending machines and coffee. Funny enough, Jay Wilkerson (he would go on to play Gordon and the Man that night) had celebrated his baby shower that day, so there was food from the party sitting there. We saw Justin Johnston’s (Angel) dressing table where he applies his makeup. It was definitely a busy table. After the quick downstairs tour, I went to wardrobe. Angela Wendt took a look at what I brought and was ok with my Rockport shoes and the Camo Pants Justin lent me, but she wasn't feeling the shirts. She whipped out a nice rocker T with undershirt and I looked the part, full out Rock Star!!! I was so impressed with what Angela put together, but that's probably why she won a Tony. Right after this, I get brought upstairs for a quick stage tour. They showed me on stage, and then behind the stage and how everything works. It's amazing what they go through every night to make it work. A director from stage right, lights everywhere getting ready to go. They have such tight spaces they run through in the back. It's tighter than most narrow hallways. Articles of costume waiting to be picked up or changed on the fly. It takes a lot to make this show look so smooth without a delay. I'll later see it in practice. We went upstairs to the landing where Renee Goldsberry (Mimi) does "Out Tonight." I’m shocked in the 12 years it has been on Broadway, not one person has been severely injured and that only one person had an accident (which they recovered from without missing a beat.).
As we were touring, Will Chase (Roger) was doing his exercises on the Landing where "Life Support" occurs. He said hi and continued with his drills. We walked down, finished the tour and we waited around while the rest of the cast trickled in so we can do a dress rehearsal of my scenes. We talked a bit about the history and things that had happened at the theatre. I was then fitted for a Mic, and was set for my Rehearsal.
We then went upstairs and we went over the cues I had to go over. The hardest thing I had to learn was to say my name (funny how that works right?). The problem is I have to say my name between Pam and Ally, but there is no name in there usually. I have to say it so that I don't miss a beat, because they can't slow down the song for me, but say it clearly enough so it doesn't come out poorly. The rest of the cues were easy. First was to sit, then sing, "There's only us..." At the end of the first line Adam Kantor (Mark) stumbles onto stage, which I then react to naturally. We then sing "Forget regret..." at the end of that line, Jay (Gordon) interrupts us saying he doesn't agree with us. I then look up at the second exit sign, pretending to be looking at Jay (Gordon) instead and contemplating his words. When he finishes, we then look at each other and sing "No other road..." and it fades to black as Renee (Mimi) begins "Out Tonight." We then sit around and wait for "Another Day" (my favorite song in the whole show) to begin and get to the mid point where Renee (Mimi) and Will (Roger) begin yelling at each other in harmony, while the Life support Group begins to sing to Will (Roger) in an artistic moment where they support Renee (Mimi) and remind Will (Roger) that he is dying and he only has so much time to be loved again. We then stand up a little bit after we begin singing in the song and move to the railing looking down at them. After the last line we all hug each other and freeze. A lot to remember in so little time right? The last part is running down the stairs, which are steep as all hell. I was glad I didn't injure myself on those steps.
While the director walked me through this, Brennard and Alex got to live out their dreams and act out some of Rent while waiting for us to finish. Funny enough Will Chase saw and heard them. When he came down from his exercises, he approached the stage director and me and had said something to the effect of, "You guys going to act out the whole thing? Hey we should send them in as replacements, you won't need me tonight." He was obviously referencing Alex and Brennard. I laughed and replied, "If you want, I know everyone of your queues. I can replace you as Roger." He smiled and said, "It's yours!" and began to walk away which I sort of laughed to. He obviously was joking but it was nice to know how nice and fun loving they are. So The Stage Director then called everyone for Life Support to do the full Dress Rehearsal Run through. Up comes Tracy McDowell, Telly Leung, Crystal Hall, Andrea Gross, Shawn Earl, Justin Johnston, Michael McElroy, Jay Wilkerson, Adam Kantor, Renee Goldsberry and Will Chase (Who technically was already there). Talk about shock and awe, it was so nice to meet all of them, but we ran right into the beginning of Life Support. We got setup and ran through it. After we all said our names and sat down, the director said stop and to run it from the top, but from the seats. I did it, I fucked up my name, so I said it louder and slower this time, which was much better. We then went through the rest of the dress rehearsal. The rest I basically didn't screw up. They were all nice. We chatted for a bit and then they went to get ready for the show. Tracy and Andrea basically kept me stress free and said they'd make sure to take care of me during the cues. Technically they had to help me, because Tracy was in front of me in the group and Andrea was setup behind me. I finally got to tell Adam he's an awesome Mark, which he was grateful for. The rest of the group I had chatted quickly with as they needed to get in costume and make up.
At this point Brennard and Alex had to step off stage and take their seats as people would begin filing in. I went down stairs, grabbed my mouth wash, rinsed my mouth out and just got myself composed and focused. I went into the green room and sat in a corner seat to just go over my entire part in my head. I sat there for a few minutes before Trisha Jeffery (She's the understudy for Joanne and would have performed that night, but she had a headache and Maia Wilson covered for her) walked over and asked me what I was doing in the dunce chair. I was a bit embarrassed trying to explain to her I'm just rolling through my performance tonight in my head so I could perform flawlessly. She smiled and told me get out of there and sit with them. She then chatted with me and a few of the other stage hands. Meanwhile this entire time, Eden Espinosa was passed out on one of the couches in the green room. At 15 minutes to curtain, she snapped up and walked out to go into costume. It was funny to see, because I was shocked at how clock like it seemed. At 5 minutes to Curtain, Andrea, Tracy, Telly and Jay had come down and chilled in the green room. We continued to talk and chat until places. I then went upstairs and took my place at the seat to the left (stage right) of the Band area. I saw Jen Yu, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting there in front row! I was looking for others but it was hard to see before the show started. Then I heard the words go, from Crystal the stage manager behind me, and it began...
...Lets Begin...
Adam (Mark) ran on stage and said, “We begin…” right after the applause died from the crowd. Here it was, me as part of the cast instead of a spectator. I wasn't nervous but thrilled. I was so excited, I've come all this way and here I am on Broadway. True I'm not really an actor or whatever, but this was beyond insanity for me. The first act rolled along and I was sitting there on the wings just experiencing it right in front of me. Crazy part was, the entire time, I can hear Crystal behind me calling out lights and places, then saying go and seeing it happen right before my eyes. It's crazy how much is going on behind the scenes just to make things work. I had people running past and around me getting to places and then going. They were just everywhere. In the middle of "You'll See" I was pulled to put on my Mic and get ready for my big debut. I watched "Tango: Maureen" from behind a screen where the door to the apartment is (In stage right, upstage). It was so cool, it's like a kid sneaking a peak of the show, yet I'm right there on stage! Towards the end, the crew for Life Support comes upstairs and Tracy grabs my hand to drag me to the staircase below the landing for Life Support. Adam (Mark) and Maia (Joanne) gave out their last lines and the theatre went dark and then lit up again and we all walked up. I stepped up and said my name... Loud, crisply and clearly... otherwise perfectly. As I walked to my seat, I could see out into the crowd and it was a bit awe inspiring to realize that all these people were here... watching us the cast perform! As I sat, the idea of my family and friends out there watching me and the thought of just being in Rent made me so happy. Everyone pointed this out after the show, saying I couldn't stop smiling the whole time. Michael (Collins) was the last one up, so then Shaun said those famous words "Let's Begin." We all then in unison sang and.. My god, to hear all their voices work with mine was mind blowing. It was exhilarating to hear them, and they were just so loud and beautiful, I was left in a sense of wonderment around them. Adam (Mark) came up next and did his awkward entrance, which I reacted by being confused and then laughing (which I've always wanted to do and usually how I act it when I'm listening to the song). He sat and we continued the affirmation. Next Jay (Gordon) interrupted us and voiced his concern about his AIDS. I turned and stared at that second exit sign. I tried my best to pretend he was there, talking to us and I felt I was spot on, minus all the smiling like an idiot. In my mind I just kept thinking, act like you’re contemplating, but I guess I couldn't stop that happy feeling. After Jay finished his lines, we all turned to each other and remind Jay that, there is only us, there is only this... and as we are singing this, Shaun comes over and puts his hands around my back and then Andrea and Crystal do the same, as if we were all in this life support group together. There was only us in my mind. This normally doesn't happen in the show, so it was amazing they did that to calm me down a bit, it was such a great feeling. At that moment I felt like I was part of the Rent family!!! There was no way I couldn't stop smiling after that, I felt like such a kid, in the biggest candy store in the world. As the song died, the lights killed and Renee (Mimi) began "Out Tonight." We all sat there in the dark. My direction was to just freeze for the most part and everyone did the same. Justin (Angel) had taken his coat partially off cause I'm sure it's hot in the Santa Coat. The song closed, silence, then Will (Roger) began with those vicious words, "Who do you think you are..." and so we continued to wait in quiet silence and stillness. Then after 2 back and forth's, we come in to sing to them..."I can't control, my destiny. I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be." Will (Roger) counters, asking Renee (Mimi) to just let him be, so we stand and begin singing to Roger that there is no day but today. I've always wanted to do this, this is why I love Another Day. There is so much emotion and feeling and rawness to the song. I want to do Rogers part and I've always wanted to sing to Roger to tell him to forget regret. Here I was living out one of my dreams. It felt so amazing to be on stage. I didn't care about my smile anymore because this song is about telling Roger to let go. So I just let my emotion and voice out and sang as loud and clearly as I could. We sang the last, "No Day but Today..." we on the Life Support stage hugged each other and I froze in a group hug with Tracy, Andrea, and Crystal and held places till the lights died. Then we ran down to landing as, "Will I" began. I was a bit afraid of falling but, I made it down safely and I had to run all the way across back stage from stage right to stage left to have my microphone removed. They took it off quickly and I was able to watch "Santa Fe" from stage left wing. It was a full view and so cool to see it from. I was in a view where I could just jump right in and be a part of it all again. When Santa Fe was over, I went down stairs and went back to my seat near the orchestra on stage right. I watched the rest of the first act from here, including "La Vie Boehme," which was a treat to see it so close from the angle I was in. Then the first act ended and everyone went downstairs or to their dressing rooms. I went down with them and hung out in the green room. Tracy, Trisha the mic people, Kyle Post, and Telly hung out there for most of the break. I talked to them just chilled. Kyle just got the iPhone 3g and he was showing it off to Telly. Tracy was sitting next to me. Her, some of the sound staff and I had a discussion about Pocahontas, Spiders and NJ. That killed up most of the break. I ran upstairs to take my seat, and right before I get there, Crystal, the Stage Manager introduced me to a special visitor that night... WILSON JAMES HEREDIA!!!!! He was the original Angel!!! THAT WAS SO CRAZY! I'll tell you what, that proved this was the best night of my life.
...Seasons of Love...
As I sat, I saw Jen, Harold, Adam and Antonio sitting again front row. It brought a smile to my face again, knowing all my friends were there. I then tried to look harder for everyone, and I saw Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sitting on the far right side of the theatre. I was definitely happy at this point knowing that they could make it all the way from France to see my once in a life time moment. I just tried soaking this all in as the entire cast walked on for the shows iconic song. They began..."525,600 Minutes, 525,600 moments so dear..." and I tried just soaking it in, but it was so hard not to at least sing under my breath on the wings. I looked out and you can see a handful of other people out in the crowd mouthing it with me. By right before the solo parts I was in full swing singing under my breathe, and by the time the solos were done, I was clapping along and just in full motion as if I was one of the cast. It was moving to be there on the sides like that. The rest of the show went on, and it was just nuts being there. By the time Contact ended, and I'll Cover You (reprise) began, it just all came flooding on me. That song always makes me cry. All the thoughts of the people I lost this year, the family and friends who are here, and those who have gone in years past just watching me tonight just brought out so much more emotion on me. I cried my tears as Michael (Collins) sang through his ballad and the song came to a close. I composed myself as Halloween began and then I was able to witness Goodbye Love from a unique position. It was dawning on me that this was the end, but that I had one more moment to take in.
...No Day but Today...
Rene (Mimi) comes back from the dead and they sing about how there is no day but today one more time. They take in Mimi's second chance and their memory of Angel overwhelms them and then the company minus Justin (Angel) joins them on stage and then Justin joins them. The song ends and they take their final bows, giving credit to the band, crew and each other and then they run off. I had stood up from my seat at this time and waited on the wings. They ran off, and Michael grabbed my hand and brought me out to center stage and we all grabbed hands and bowed. I'll tell you seeing the entire crowd on its feet... oh man that was so intense. Then the entire company but me stepped back and allowed me to take my own bow and gave me what felt like hours on stage to bow, wave at everyone and take in my last moments on Broadway. I just looked around at them and could see their smiles and the smiles of all my friends and family out in the crowd. That brought an amount of joy I couldn't fathom. I had planned to point to the company and the band and to everyone in the crowd as a tribute to them for this night... but I was just so overwhelmed by it all. It was all just so much at that moment, too many feelings, and too many emotions. Finally they grabbed my hand and we bowed and ran off stage. I then rushed down stairs to change so I can get my picture taken with the cast as they all left.
...Out Tonight...
I changed as fast as I could so I could get my picture with the cast. I had to do that because the cast changes fast and tries to get out as fast as they can to get home, or so I was warned. By the time I got upstairs, Justin and Michael had left already, but thankfully I already had pictures with them from previous shows. I got upstairs and there was Wilson Heredia again, so I walked out to the lobby area to just outside the stage. Alex, Brennard, Mom, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie was waiting there. I of course turn to Alex and say look who it is. She freaked when she saw Wilson and then we took a picture. Next Eden came down and Wilson literally swept her off her feet, which took Eden by surprise. While Eden and Wilson caught up, Tracy came down next so I took a picture with her. She was totally cool and she definitely made it easy for me to feel like one of the Rent family. Once Eden finished catching up with Wilson, I took a picture with her. God, such a powerful voice for Maureen. She seemed a bit methodical that night, but it still seemed like she was having fun. Still though Take me or Leave me... it was so chilling to listen to because she just killed it. Next Telly came down. Glad he could be in the show, since the family and I have seen him in a ton of performances and it was great he could be here. Then Will came down. He gave a wonderful performance that night, second only to the times I saw Adam Pascal perform, but of course Adam originated the role so it's hard to compare. Still, it was a great performance and perfect for my night, so I took a picture with him next. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie were smitten by him so they had to have a picture with him next. They practically jumped him after he took a picture with me =P. Marcus came down next. Great guy and was very supportive of me, even though we didn't have a scene together. Plus he's always awesome as the leader Christmas Caroler. Rodney followed up after him. He does such a great job as Benny and he's also such a great guy. He was very supportive of me and it was so nice to hear coming from one of the original cast (yeah original cast). Adam was next in line, and he did a sweet job that night as Mark. His voice isn't the best Mark, but I love how he acts out Mark, he's perfectly awkward as Mark should be. Maia, who was AWESOME as Joanne that night. She gave me the biggest hug and gave me the sweetest words. It was so nice to hear from one of the cast. Finally Renee was the last one who came down. She had a lot to live up to in my mind since I loved Tamayra Grey as Mimi, but she was on that night. It was great to see the glitter come from Mimi's hair again and she was the perfect foil for Will's Roger. It really brought the emotion out of Roger and Mimi and I was so glad they had that chemistry on stage!!! Well, there was one thing left to do sign the wall, the wall that every cast member has signed. I picked my spot and left my mark. It was... bittersweet for me. This completed the whole event, I was official part of Rent history!!! I didn't want it to end, but signing that wall officially brought it to a close. Alex, Brennard, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie sign it as well. Funny enough, Mathilde and Anne-Sophie are the two people who have come from the furthest place (France) to sign the wall. I said my goodbyes to the rest of the crew and left the Nederlander for what might be the last time (at least for a Rent performance.). What came next was something I think was a little to movie perfect. I figured everyone would be standing outside just waiting for me, so I thought I'd just come busting out singing "No Day but Today." but I was in for an even bigger shock. I stepped out and there were all my friends, standing around, just yelling and screaming treating me like I was a superstar. It really touched me to have them do that for me. It really sealed the night for me, to have my family by my side at my performance and to have my friends to support till the end. Having Sam run up to me, giving me a hug and seeing everyone's faces just cheering for me and just acting like I was a star, just moved me so much. It gave me a sense of bliss, something that I don't think can be topped for a long time. It was such a whirlwind just exiting to that, circling around and see the faces, it was just too much for me. What made it even crazier was having just a random audience member ask me for my autograph. That was just insane all in itself. I just couldn't believe someone I didn't know wanted my autograph!!! We all hung around for a while talking about the show, then we began dispersing, some going for home and some going for D&B. I joined the D&B crew for a quick drink and food before taking Mathilde and Anne-Sophie home.
To sum it all up, when Dana and I were discussing that night, the quote, "This is the greatest thing I have done, and probably ever will do. I doubt my own wedding could ever top this feeling," really explains the feeling I had for that night. It was the most amazing experience and I won't forget that night for years to come.
In the end, I just have to thank my family for supporting me and putting up with my inequities so that I could arrive to that night and perform with all my heart. Thank You Alex, Brennard, Mom and Dad for being there for me that night and in my life!
Thank my friends for being so supporting and wonderful enough to come out to see me. It means a lot that they could take time out of their busy lives to see my moment in the sun. Thank you, Justin, Bob, Dana, Albert, Sam, Emily, Konrad, Jen P, Brad, Harold, Adam, Antonio, Alwin, Camille, Nina, Kristin, Phi, Phil, Reggie, Ivan, Joe, Jen Yu, Anne-Sophie, Mathilde for being there that night. It meant a lot to see all your faces there cheering for me, especially because I know a lot of you traveled from so many different and far off places to be there.
To the entire Company of Rent for giving me the opportunity to do this, to help me get ready for it and for helping me on stage be the best I could be that night.
And, Thank you Jonathan Larson, for writing something that has touched my life and touched so many others.
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