what's up anyway?
I guess it's time for an update right? My how time passes. Thankfully i'm finally out of school, and am free till July. No work, so I can't spend to much, but all the time in the world to enjoy what free time I have left. I'm hoping to keep running into people. If you have some free time please contact me, I want to see who I can before I begin a career and can't anymore. Actually Jared, if you do read this, please please get back to me when your free, so we can just catch up.
That's what these past few weeks have been, playing catch up. I finished school last wednesday, and it's been a blur since then. If you must know I did well, I should have done better on that final test i took last wednesday, but i had built such a buffer I didn't care anymore. It was the last test I ever had to take, and now i'm one lab from being a free man. I can't freaking wait. Once i'm out in August, I'm going to otakon, then hopefully take a week off and begin a career somewhere. I plan on searching hardcore come mid july. It's a long and complex reason why, but not until then. A patient man is rewarded far more than a impetious one. Other than that, I was running around last thursday. I had lunch with Albert and Brennard in the early afternoon. After that, Strafer met up with us and we hung around Menlo Mall for a while. We were actualyl waiting for the 7:25 showing of Silent Hill. At around 6:30 Ray met up with us... then Davang at 6:50.... Alex at 7:05... and Jenny at 7:10. Talk about late =P. Well they were all supposed to be there at 6:30. Any way the movie was actually a lot better than every one made it out to be. I'll try to avoid spoilers since i know a good amount of people didn't see it. The first hour and a half was straight out of the game. The story points they changed were good, simply because silent hill 1 is a bit out there and just would take too long and be a bit too intense to tell. Lastly, they incorporated alot of story points from 2 and 3 very well into the movie. This movie was easily one of the goriest things i have seen in a long time. Along with that, the ending was not bad, it was a good thinker and leaves it open to a sequel. If a sequel never comes, then it leaves it open to a good interpretation of rose's fate. That being said, we tlaked much about it after the movie. We all headed to Applebee's to indulge in half price appetizers. Davang unfortunatley didn't come to applebee's, but It's cool. We talked and chatted and enjoyed the rest of the night before we parted ways.
Friday was a little differnet. Paolo needed help with Sam's computer, so I obliged him. After spending a good part of the time fixing it, I got it going and running and Paolo then said he would treat me to dinner, so we went to On the Borders. Albert met us there, and the 4 of us had an awsome time. Afterwards, we went to Bob's apartment, where we palyed chrononaughts and Betrayl at house on the hill. Good times had by all. Saturday came, and Jenny Yu canceled her plans with me, so I decided last minute to head for RPG night. We went back to our roots and played D&D. It was a good start tot eh adventure, but we definatley have to get teh game started earlier, so id ont' get so tired so easily. I at least put together the concept for my character and I hope it ends up being good.
Sunday was mothers day, went to church, then killed some time playing SWAT. Afterwards helped alex with making Mom's and Jen's mother's day and Birthday cakes. After a bit of an issue, it both came out great. We all then went to Benihana's in Menlo for dinner. Guy who cooked for us was very good, though mom's hard to impress, especailly when it comes to price versus food. So she had an ok time, though I had a blast and ordered an excellent piece of Steak and Lobster (yeah yeah, the aldrich special.). When we got home, suprised mom with the cake, and we all feasted upon the multi flavored delight. She enjoyed it, and it was a good day.
Of course that meant one more Cake to go. Monday was Jenny Yu's birthday. So I was there trying to figureo ut how to convince her to go to dinner and all the such, cause the dear lady can eb difficult. I even ahd a plan to just drop the cake off and surrender to her stubborness. Well, I was trying to put it all together, so I decided to take a break and go for my daily run. Lo and behold, when I return from my daily exercise, her sister Wendy called me. Well to my surprise, the sisters had a plan. Crazy, Jen was trapped, she can't say no to Janet and Wendy. So the fix was in. We were taking her to Minado's an ALL YOU CAN EAT JAPANESE PLACE. Arrived at her house around 7:20. Wendy's BF/Man friend (I don't really know) was ther watchign Henry play Ocrina of time. Wendy and Jnaet were gettign ready, and Jen was suprised to see me, meaning she wasn't expecting a big thing. Chris comes in after me, and this is the party for the evening. Most of her friend's couldn't make it unfortunatley, so I felt bad, but at least it would be a nice small party. Minado's was fucking amazing. Sushi was decent, but the rest of it was fabulous. Wish I could say that i tried the shrimp tempura, but someone jacked it all. Thier Deserts... to die for! Defiantley recommend. Afterwards we came back to thier place and we all chilled, Justin joined us at this time. Janet and Wendy set up the cake, while I played Henry in chess. He was dying to play me, so I oblieged him. The rest of them sat and relaxed, while we all talked. Cake was ready, SO Henry and i paused our tense game. He had a good attack, but I think I trapped him. SO we had to wait and we ate our cake. Had fun, chatted it up and shared stories. Justin and I were jsut a riot catching up, it's like time never passed. Jen seemed to enjoy it well. Well Henry and I finished up our game, and it seems my gambit was right, I had him no matter what, he got over zealous. SO I talked strategy with him, and it seems he learned alot. I'll probably be heading up to his school next week to teach thier chess club a thing or two. Well, Jen ahd work int he morning, so she began kicking us out, though it seemed very reluctant. So we said our good byes, and it seemed like a good day.
Today I just bballed it up with Tim, Wira and Brennard. had a good game, though I had to show them how it was done. Eventually Tim had to go to work so we broke it up. We then went to the break afterwards and I caught up with a little DDR. Saw some old friend tonight. Kevin who I haven't seen in a while and Joe, Christina's Boyfriend. Glad to catch up with them. Today was exhausting but good.
You know, I missed the part of my journals where I share a little thought with everyone. It was my way of unloading what was on my mind for the week. It was how i came to peace of mind with myself. Even in such a relaxing past week, so much comes to mind of course. There's always the thought of the insanity of girls. You know very few make sense. Then there are friends who have come and gone. Who are still drifitng along and those putting it together. Of course there is my biggest worry about work post graduation in august. Oh so much just comes by, yet not much changes. I always think about the first two a lot. Of course I do, it's important to me. It's how I relate better to those around me. I actually care about a lot of you believe it or not. It disturbs me how some can be so self depricating and just keep letting it happen, it's really saddening. Some people worry about math probelms, other worry about personal problems. It seems I like to worry about people problems.
Honestly in the end, it's all personal problems. I've been driving myself crazy about this one girl and what is becoming of us. I have such a hard time talking about it with people. One perosn just seems sick of hearing. Most have very little to say or have said the same thing over and over. It's hard to convey. Honestly, it's a very rare circumstance we are in. I'm not afraid to bring up the dating thing, but I don't want to bring it up. Even if we had strong feelings for each other, she just began her job and she's really busy with getting started in the company. I've still to setup my life and settle down. Honestly I'm trying my best to get to that point. If I loose her... I won't regret it, I just won't let it happen again. I won't let my own laziness, destroy something that could have been magical. Yeah, loose her, I don't even have her. We are just really good friends. impossible to classify cause I don't know where to put it, and she wont' classify it in anyway. She has a problem letting people close, so she never has had to classify freindship. Yet, loosing her, I won't be loosing her, we will still be friends. It's my one fear though that all we discuss now, all the closeness we have now... will be gone. I'm afraid of that, loosing that. Yet with her last boyfriend, we stillt alked and chatted, not as much, and sometimes not as close... but we did. It was different then, in fact after that breakupa nd a few montsh of turmoil, we stopped talking for nearly a year. What about this time. If she did... find someone, I would never jeopordize her happiness. Thinking about it now, saying it, it woudlnt' change would it. If this were all to come to fruition, then she would expect her significant other to understand. That's the kind of person she is. Oh so many questions...s o much tot hink about, for a situation that doesn't even exist. The things I want to tell her... that I'm simply not ready to convey. I'm not ready to take care of her, or be there for her all the time. To support her. I may be ready emotionally and mentally, but positionally I'm just not ready to go any farther or attempt to. Still though... it's hard to deny feelings. Well, let's see where tomorrow brings us.
She's not the only insane girl though, girls are jsut insane period. I can't stress that enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again, girls just love playing games. They love trying to control thigns, and no matter what they say, it's impossible in thier minds for guys to be just friends sometimes. Theya hve to rationalize it or justify it. I swear to god, girls keep guys they find unattractive around because theyc an rationalize just friends with them. Too bad they also get the emotionally weak guys, or even mentalliy weak. Girls then just do this flrity friend thing and that confuses guys. So then guys dont' know how to respond or take it all. Some who are lonley then misread it. Guess what, we are fucking human... WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST BE FUCKING STRAIGHT FOWARD. Oh dont' get me started on that. Again another topic I just keep beating to death. WHAT THE FUCK. What is so hard about ebing open and honest. Ask me anything and I'll tell you what's up unless i'm unready to discuss it. But I'm telling you right now, You can comfortably ask me anything and I'll be open with you. WHY IS IT PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BEING REAL. God, it's like interpersonal relations is a game. Oh and there's the whole thing about nto responding to message, as if we will forget. Yeah, you know it's cool to say Ic an't, or it's not possible, or i'm not interested. I swear, I'd rather get a big fat message that says get bent. AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE. Sure I'll be taken back, but I'll get over it. Don't get me wrong, this isn't directed against anyone,t his is directed against people in general. Yeah, see this is theraputic. ALl that stress from the semster is finally getting released. Thank god!
Too bad I can't just release the stress of money. Granted I'm not worrying about will I make it, I'm more worried about, when will the money finally come in? Yeah I really need a job after college just so I can kill the bills then move out of my house. God, I cant' wait for the moment I'm gone from this god forsaken place. I jsut want my own hosue, with my own setup, and my own rules. I want the freedom to finally just have people over, my friends with no worries. LOL, what I want is my own house, but I have to get a well paying job and get all my college loans paid off. That honestly would be teh sweetness. If i started at 60K, I would do that. I know Phi wants to do something like that, Iw oudlnt' mind it spliting it 2 ways or so. It may seem daunting at first, but if we lived sensibly and kept the bills in order, kept consumption low and lived green if possible, it would all work out. Then I can finally focus on settling down, and mayeb actually be able tos ay to myself, It's all set, Ic an now go and find someone. Ic an care for them and take care of them and not worry about what's going to happen next. That's what I want to be able to do. I can't wait for that feeling. heheh, yeah so close, so very close August baby, august.
Other than that, I've been well. Funny enough, I've kept out of others affairs for the msot part, stopping myself when I was dug into deep. I only really fall into my clsoe freinds affairs. That used to be a mistake of mine, care about everyone too much. Yeah it's good to care about others, but to care too much abotu those you barley know, a mistake. Cause then , not that your intentions are empty, but they begin to read it all wrong and you are over stretched emotionally. You know, it wouldn't bother me. It just seems that some people are self depricating simply for the attention and once they are fufileld they forget you. Yeah yeah, of course it's true, taht's what myspace is about. Theya re in teh drivers seat as long as they know they can get the attention. Talked about it tonight with my one friend. Iv'e lost sympathy for those people. True friends are always there,a re always supporting, and are always willing to accept help and advice and support no matter what. Theyd ont' shut you out once they get what they need. I hate that treatment. I'm sure i'm not a hypocrite on this one, but it's so hard to know when you first come to such a realization. Your eyes are opened for the first time and you begin to think and realize and regret. Well time to learn and ponder. If I have been, please tell me. I can only become a better person through revelationa nd improvement. Something I dont' realize I do because i'm so blind by my own repetition and schema. One it gets to habit, you hardly notice. I try my best to subdue my abd habits and schema's. Well except for the terrible typing, sorry that's just on the bottom of the list of self improvement. Now if I can figure out what I do wrong when dealing with the fairer sex... or maybe it's not me but you!!!!!!!! =Þ.
Oh a bit of news to check out:
http://music.ign.com/articles/708/708910p1.html
Do you agree? I'm not into soundtracks enough to know,but I do beleive theyg ot number one right, hands down. In fact, ti's oen of the ebst soundtracks for anything period.
Oh, i'm tired, long day. Well come now, tell me what's up with you, would love to hear it. Take care of yourself till next time.
See you space cowboy...
That's what these past few weeks have been, playing catch up. I finished school last wednesday, and it's been a blur since then. If you must know I did well, I should have done better on that final test i took last wednesday, but i had built such a buffer I didn't care anymore. It was the last test I ever had to take, and now i'm one lab from being a free man. I can't freaking wait. Once i'm out in August, I'm going to otakon, then hopefully take a week off and begin a career somewhere. I plan on searching hardcore come mid july. It's a long and complex reason why, but not until then. A patient man is rewarded far more than a impetious one. Other than that, I was running around last thursday. I had lunch with Albert and Brennard in the early afternoon. After that, Strafer met up with us and we hung around Menlo Mall for a while. We were actualyl waiting for the 7:25 showing of Silent Hill. At around 6:30 Ray met up with us... then Davang at 6:50.... Alex at 7:05... and Jenny at 7:10. Talk about late =P. Well they were all supposed to be there at 6:30. Any way the movie was actually a lot better than every one made it out to be. I'll try to avoid spoilers since i know a good amount of people didn't see it. The first hour and a half was straight out of the game. The story points they changed were good, simply because silent hill 1 is a bit out there and just would take too long and be a bit too intense to tell. Lastly, they incorporated alot of story points from 2 and 3 very well into the movie. This movie was easily one of the goriest things i have seen in a long time. Along with that, the ending was not bad, it was a good thinker and leaves it open to a sequel. If a sequel never comes, then it leaves it open to a good interpretation of rose's fate. That being said, we tlaked much about it after the movie. We all headed to Applebee's to indulge in half price appetizers. Davang unfortunatley didn't come to applebee's, but It's cool. We talked and chatted and enjoyed the rest of the night before we parted ways.
Friday was a little differnet. Paolo needed help with Sam's computer, so I obliged him. After spending a good part of the time fixing it, I got it going and running and Paolo then said he would treat me to dinner, so we went to On the Borders. Albert met us there, and the 4 of us had an awsome time. Afterwards, we went to Bob's apartment, where we palyed chrononaughts and Betrayl at house on the hill. Good times had by all. Saturday came, and Jenny Yu canceled her plans with me, so I decided last minute to head for RPG night. We went back to our roots and played D&D. It was a good start tot eh adventure, but we definatley have to get teh game started earlier, so id ont' get so tired so easily. I at least put together the concept for my character and I hope it ends up being good.
Sunday was mothers day, went to church, then killed some time playing SWAT. Afterwards helped alex with making Mom's and Jen's mother's day and Birthday cakes. After a bit of an issue, it both came out great. We all then went to Benihana's in Menlo for dinner. Guy who cooked for us was very good, though mom's hard to impress, especailly when it comes to price versus food. So she had an ok time, though I had a blast and ordered an excellent piece of Steak and Lobster (yeah yeah, the aldrich special.). When we got home, suprised mom with the cake, and we all feasted upon the multi flavored delight. She enjoyed it, and it was a good day.
Of course that meant one more Cake to go. Monday was Jenny Yu's birthday. So I was there trying to figureo ut how to convince her to go to dinner and all the such, cause the dear lady can eb difficult. I even ahd a plan to just drop the cake off and surrender to her stubborness. Well, I was trying to put it all together, so I decided to take a break and go for my daily run. Lo and behold, when I return from my daily exercise, her sister Wendy called me. Well to my surprise, the sisters had a plan. Crazy, Jen was trapped, she can't say no to Janet and Wendy. So the fix was in. We were taking her to Minado's an ALL YOU CAN EAT JAPANESE PLACE. Arrived at her house around 7:20. Wendy's BF/Man friend (I don't really know) was ther watchign Henry play Ocrina of time. Wendy and Jnaet were gettign ready, and Jen was suprised to see me, meaning she wasn't expecting a big thing. Chris comes in after me, and this is the party for the evening. Most of her friend's couldn't make it unfortunatley, so I felt bad, but at least it would be a nice small party. Minado's was fucking amazing. Sushi was decent, but the rest of it was fabulous. Wish I could say that i tried the shrimp tempura, but someone jacked it all. Thier Deserts... to die for! Defiantley recommend. Afterwards we came back to thier place and we all chilled, Justin joined us at this time. Janet and Wendy set up the cake, while I played Henry in chess. He was dying to play me, so I oblieged him. The rest of them sat and relaxed, while we all talked. Cake was ready, SO Henry and i paused our tense game. He had a good attack, but I think I trapped him. SO we had to wait and we ate our cake. Had fun, chatted it up and shared stories. Justin and I were jsut a riot catching up, it's like time never passed. Jen seemed to enjoy it well. Well Henry and I finished up our game, and it seems my gambit was right, I had him no matter what, he got over zealous. SO I talked strategy with him, and it seems he learned alot. I'll probably be heading up to his school next week to teach thier chess club a thing or two. Well, Jen ahd work int he morning, so she began kicking us out, though it seemed very reluctant. So we said our good byes, and it seemed like a good day.
Today I just bballed it up with Tim, Wira and Brennard. had a good game, though I had to show them how it was done. Eventually Tim had to go to work so we broke it up. We then went to the break afterwards and I caught up with a little DDR. Saw some old friend tonight. Kevin who I haven't seen in a while and Joe, Christina's Boyfriend. Glad to catch up with them. Today was exhausting but good.
You know, I missed the part of my journals where I share a little thought with everyone. It was my way of unloading what was on my mind for the week. It was how i came to peace of mind with myself. Even in such a relaxing past week, so much comes to mind of course. There's always the thought of the insanity of girls. You know very few make sense. Then there are friends who have come and gone. Who are still drifitng along and those putting it together. Of course there is my biggest worry about work post graduation in august. Oh so much just comes by, yet not much changes. I always think about the first two a lot. Of course I do, it's important to me. It's how I relate better to those around me. I actually care about a lot of you believe it or not. It disturbs me how some can be so self depricating and just keep letting it happen, it's really saddening. Some people worry about math probelms, other worry about personal problems. It seems I like to worry about people problems.
Honestly in the end, it's all personal problems. I've been driving myself crazy about this one girl and what is becoming of us. I have such a hard time talking about it with people. One perosn just seems sick of hearing. Most have very little to say or have said the same thing over and over. It's hard to convey. Honestly, it's a very rare circumstance we are in. I'm not afraid to bring up the dating thing, but I don't want to bring it up. Even if we had strong feelings for each other, she just began her job and she's really busy with getting started in the company. I've still to setup my life and settle down. Honestly I'm trying my best to get to that point. If I loose her... I won't regret it, I just won't let it happen again. I won't let my own laziness, destroy something that could have been magical. Yeah, loose her, I don't even have her. We are just really good friends. impossible to classify cause I don't know where to put it, and she wont' classify it in anyway. She has a problem letting people close, so she never has had to classify freindship. Yet, loosing her, I won't be loosing her, we will still be friends. It's my one fear though that all we discuss now, all the closeness we have now... will be gone. I'm afraid of that, loosing that. Yet with her last boyfriend, we stillt alked and chatted, not as much, and sometimes not as close... but we did. It was different then, in fact after that breakupa nd a few montsh of turmoil, we stopped talking for nearly a year. What about this time. If she did... find someone, I would never jeopordize her happiness. Thinking about it now, saying it, it woudlnt' change would it. If this were all to come to fruition, then she would expect her significant other to understand. That's the kind of person she is. Oh so many questions...s o much tot hink about, for a situation that doesn't even exist. The things I want to tell her... that I'm simply not ready to convey. I'm not ready to take care of her, or be there for her all the time. To support her. I may be ready emotionally and mentally, but positionally I'm just not ready to go any farther or attempt to. Still though... it's hard to deny feelings. Well, let's see where tomorrow brings us.
She's not the only insane girl though, girls are jsut insane period. I can't stress that enough. I've said it before and I'll say it again, girls just love playing games. They love trying to control thigns, and no matter what they say, it's impossible in thier minds for guys to be just friends sometimes. Theya hve to rationalize it or justify it. I swear to god, girls keep guys they find unattractive around because theyc an rationalize just friends with them. Too bad they also get the emotionally weak guys, or even mentalliy weak. Girls then just do this flrity friend thing and that confuses guys. So then guys dont' know how to respond or take it all. Some who are lonley then misread it. Guess what, we are fucking human... WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST BE FUCKING STRAIGHT FOWARD. Oh dont' get me started on that. Again another topic I just keep beating to death. WHAT THE FUCK. What is so hard about ebing open and honest. Ask me anything and I'll tell you what's up unless i'm unready to discuss it. But I'm telling you right now, You can comfortably ask me anything and I'll be open with you. WHY IS IT PEOPLE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BEING REAL. God, it's like interpersonal relations is a game. Oh and there's the whole thing about nto responding to message, as if we will forget. Yeah, you know it's cool to say Ic an't, or it's not possible, or i'm not interested. I swear, I'd rather get a big fat message that says get bent. AT LEAST I KNOW WHAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE. Sure I'll be taken back, but I'll get over it. Don't get me wrong, this isn't directed against anyone,t his is directed against people in general. Yeah, see this is theraputic. ALl that stress from the semster is finally getting released. Thank god!
Too bad I can't just release the stress of money. Granted I'm not worrying about will I make it, I'm more worried about, when will the money finally come in? Yeah I really need a job after college just so I can kill the bills then move out of my house. God, I cant' wait for the moment I'm gone from this god forsaken place. I jsut want my own hosue, with my own setup, and my own rules. I want the freedom to finally just have people over, my friends with no worries. LOL, what I want is my own house, but I have to get a well paying job and get all my college loans paid off. That honestly would be teh sweetness. If i started at 60K, I would do that. I know Phi wants to do something like that, Iw oudlnt' mind it spliting it 2 ways or so. It may seem daunting at first, but if we lived sensibly and kept the bills in order, kept consumption low and lived green if possible, it would all work out. Then I can finally focus on settling down, and mayeb actually be able tos ay to myself, It's all set, Ic an now go and find someone. Ic an care for them and take care of them and not worry about what's going to happen next. That's what I want to be able to do. I can't wait for that feeling. heheh, yeah so close, so very close August baby, august.
Other than that, I've been well. Funny enough, I've kept out of others affairs for the msot part, stopping myself when I was dug into deep. I only really fall into my clsoe freinds affairs. That used to be a mistake of mine, care about everyone too much. Yeah it's good to care about others, but to care too much abotu those you barley know, a mistake. Cause then , not that your intentions are empty, but they begin to read it all wrong and you are over stretched emotionally. You know, it wouldn't bother me. It just seems that some people are self depricating simply for the attention and once they are fufileld they forget you. Yeah yeah, of course it's true, taht's what myspace is about. Theya re in teh drivers seat as long as they know they can get the attention. Talked about it tonight with my one friend. Iv'e lost sympathy for those people. True friends are always there,a re always supporting, and are always willing to accept help and advice and support no matter what. Theyd ont' shut you out once they get what they need. I hate that treatment. I'm sure i'm not a hypocrite on this one, but it's so hard to know when you first come to such a realization. Your eyes are opened for the first time and you begin to think and realize and regret. Well time to learn and ponder. If I have been, please tell me. I can only become a better person through revelationa nd improvement. Something I dont' realize I do because i'm so blind by my own repetition and schema. One it gets to habit, you hardly notice. I try my best to subdue my abd habits and schema's. Well except for the terrible typing, sorry that's just on the bottom of the list of self improvement. Now if I can figure out what I do wrong when dealing with the fairer sex... or maybe it's not me but you!!!!!!!! =Þ.
Oh a bit of news to check out:
http://music.ign.com/articles/708/708910p1.html
Do you agree? I'm not into soundtracks enough to know,but I do beleive theyg ot number one right, hands down. In fact, ti's oen of the ebst soundtracks for anything period.
Oh, i'm tired, long day. Well come now, tell me what's up with you, would love to hear it. Take care of yourself till next time.
See you space cowboy...