Catching up.
I've had an eventful day.
I hung out with my best friend from high school who knows me so well (and understands me so well) it's scary. One of our mutual good friends, and a girl I went to sophomore year of high school with (and she was one of my best friends then). Did a lot, bought a lot of stuff (shirts, a book, coffee).
Generally I had fun. I'm exhausted, my room is pretty much packed up.
As excited as I am to go home, it's kind of bittersweet. I love having my own space, it's nice.
Everyone I talk to tells me to make my music blog, but I'm still chickening out.
I don't know what to post, or how to make people care. And honestly, I can't blog unless I get comments. I give up if no one comments on stuff, so I'm afraid that I'll start, give up and never want to do it again.
Which is a stupid reason for not starting.
I just remembered that I have homework to do for my exam tomorrow.
Good thing it's easy.
I also owe LJ two poems.
I'm kind of weird tonight. I'm not used to social interaction, or at least a lot of it. I'm not used to girl time. So I'm exhausted and kind of miserable for a lot of reasons.
I don't really feel quite right in my own skin right now.
I hate this feeling.
I am
sinking like
a brick
into something
not quite water
not quite air
equal parts
divided
multiplied
chemistry that doesn't
can't
add up
to anything real
I am
crashing
breaking
tumbling
with nothing to break
my fall
.
I want
to put words
to pages and
make books sing
I want to make money
make friends
be good
genuinely good
at what I do
I want to
perfect the comma
and the semi-colon
I want to
write flawlessly
every time
the first time
It isn't like that
it's never like that
because nothing
is every easy
What do you guys think about a blog about music? Mostly the weird-ass mix of bands I listen to. Stuff like news, reviews, events, videos, updates, stuff like that?
I haven't fleshed out the details.
I think that since the one thing I always ask people when I first meet them (or look at in their info) is what kind of music they like. And since I talk so much about it, this might be the right kind of a blog to start.
But
I'm scared.
I'm terrified of failure.
I do this all the time.
I'm scared of failing
so I don't even start.
I hung out with my best friend from high school who knows me so well (and understands me so well) it's scary. One of our mutual good friends, and a girl I went to sophomore year of high school with (and she was one of my best friends then). Did a lot, bought a lot of stuff (shirts, a book, coffee).
Generally I had fun. I'm exhausted, my room is pretty much packed up.
As excited as I am to go home, it's kind of bittersweet. I love having my own space, it's nice.
Everyone I talk to tells me to make my music blog, but I'm still chickening out.
I don't know what to post, or how to make people care. And honestly, I can't blog unless I get comments. I give up if no one comments on stuff, so I'm afraid that I'll start, give up and never want to do it again.
Which is a stupid reason for not starting.
I just remembered that I have homework to do for my exam tomorrow.
Good thing it's easy.
I also owe LJ two poems.
I'm kind of weird tonight. I'm not used to social interaction, or at least a lot of it. I'm not used to girl time. So I'm exhausted and kind of miserable for a lot of reasons.
I don't really feel quite right in my own skin right now.
I hate this feeling.
I am
sinking like
a brick
into something
not quite water
not quite air
equal parts
divided
multiplied
chemistry that doesn't
can't
add up
to anything real
I am
crashing
breaking
tumbling
with nothing to break
my fall
.
I want
to put words
to pages and
make books sing
I want to make money
make friends
be good
genuinely good
at what I do
I want to
perfect the comma
and the semi-colon
I want to
write flawlessly
every time
the first time
It isn't like that
it's never like that
because nothing
is every easy
What do you guys think about a blog about music? Mostly the weird-ass mix of bands I listen to. Stuff like news, reviews, events, videos, updates, stuff like that?
I haven't fleshed out the details.
I think that since the one thing I always ask people when I first meet them (or look at in their info) is what kind of music they like. And since I talk so much about it, this might be the right kind of a blog to start.
But
I'm scared.
I'm terrified of failure.
I do this all the time.
I'm scared of failing
so I don't even start.