(no subject)
So hurt, how could I have 4given? It's happened time and time again, do I expect a change in this horrid pattern? ridiculous! You expected a swinging palm, but I felt that did no good. I sought for a more emotional response. to make you sit and watch what you did to me. I wanted your soul to drop lower with each tear. I hope it did. Walking out of your life 4ever was an option. one I tried to take, but was held back. NOT by my own will, but by an arm. I have regret. I could have walked out, and I honestly would have too! I had no where to go, so that would have been a problem. I would have gotten into something bad.. but I wouldn't have cared @ all. I am not a perfect christian, wanna know why? we are supposed to 4give one another. but I don't. I SEEK REVENGE!!!!! I want to make him feel how I felt each and ever time I had to listen to I'm sorry... it'll never happen again... I want to bring him to his knees, and almost drowning in his own tears!! I am bigger than you. I am NOT going to go out and do the same thing you do to me. I've been through that pain not only with YOU. I know how it feels, and I'd never do that to such a fragle soul. Sure, I could go and get soo drunk, that way something's bound to happen, or I could get really stoned and get pulled over by the cops for doing something destructive, then get cought for posesion.... I could buy a pack and smoke them one by one and put them in a baggy for you when I was done. Do something like set them in your mailbox, or even just hand them strait to you. I see no point destroying my temple for your mistakes.
I am not trying to milk this for all it's worth (tho, it's worth a lot.) but it just doesn't stop with you.
You think you are protected, cuz I can't tell anyone, your not. I don't keep it to myself for your sake, I do it for my own! I already hear crap and it pisses me off, I don't want to hear it anymore than I do-
The more I think and write, The more I realise I've made a mistake.