(no subject)
In just a few days i'll be sent back to that hell. How I'm angry to be forced to go back, yet not sure what troubles me more the anger of it or...fear. The memories so clear still. The rejection, the hurtful words, the lies, it was all so fake like a plastic barbie. All those words wasted. Wasted on pretending. I only pray now that this will be different. That i can shun myself out of the crowd and prevent all the hurt before it's possible return. So much, unspoken, those words burn my insides the possibility that such a small phrase or just a few small words could have altered my life forever. The possibility that i could have changed me forever. This is why i must shun myself from the public eye as much as can be done. No public seeings, gatherings, parties. I must stay away, pervent myself from caring and coming close to these people. I must prevent the hurt. Alone. It will be better that way.